God Tanks in Polls

However, it is telling, about humanity if not about God, that those who believe that God created the universe and made all life in general and human life in particular possible, are giving some pretty significant pushback on God's job performance review. God and God's exclusive agents of all faiths on earth are likely not to get pay raises. Tithing will fall off, collections diminish and fewer virgins will be sacrificed to volcanoes. Note: When we talk about God it is not necessarily the same bearded old white guy on a golden throne in an unfashionable toga. Some gods are into virgins. This, of course, presents some non-theological problems with the plethora of volcanoes and the relative scarcity of virgins. A math problem only God could work out.

Still, there is a problem, either with God or humanity. We apparently are saying:
" Dear God,
You created this miracle but what have you done for us lately? The heavens and earth were nice. Sex was a good, if somewhat embarrassing, move, but what about Your intelligent design of the human spine? I mean, it doesn't work that well, and most first year engineering students could design it more intelligently. Then there are the diseases. What's with cancer? Sure we know that we may contribute to it with our toxic waste, but you could have prevented that, couldn't You for whom all things are possible?

Now look God, You can still fix your numbers. First fix the world. Knock off the hurricanes, earthquakes and tsunamis. Revisit this tendency you have to put the flavor in the fatty meats like bacon and ribs, when you could have put it in the celery, no? And personally, on your list of kosher and non-kosher: with trichinosis mostly gone, could You revisit the pork thing? If You had made Bubbie Lottie's chopped liver trayf, no one would have minded.

The strangest part of Your poll numbers is that you are doing better in my demographic (older) than with the young. I don't know why. Maybe we're just being cautious because we might be meeting You sooner. The young are really upset with you over the natural disasters. This is not a demographic that You can afford to lose.