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Global Warming -- SOLVED!

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I don't know why I get letters like these, but alas, I do. From today's inbox:

Chris, I am an 88 year old man and I am trying to write a book relating to global warming but I have not been able to find out what the height and position of the pollution belt is. I am very concerned about the effect the pollution is having on the Earth. I need that information because of the two possible solutions I have for eliminating the pollution belt. The first is to fly space ships through the belt with collecter devises that would pick up the pollution. I need that information because I am not sure if the space ships could fly at that elevation. My second idea is to explode an atomic bomb in the pollution and the chain reaction would destroy the pollution. BUT I do not know the height of the belt and do not know if the radiation fall out from the bomb would contaminate the Earth. I would appreciate it if you could help me in any way to find that information.

--Name withheld to protect the well-meaning but frighteningly delusional

Does your employer know?

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It always amazes me when I receive letters -- sometimes including name-calling and innuendo -- that are sent from a reader's work e-mail, sometimes with their official work signature and company's logo at the bottom. Why someone wouldn't use a Yahoo or AOL account to sound off still befuddles me, because you're representing your company by sending mail on the company system. Such as an e-mail I received the other day with a full, colorful, Kaiser Permanente signature on the bottom, from a certain training coordinator out of Oakland.

"Bridget it sounds like you are speaking from personal feelings about OJ and not the facts that were found. I just believe you should keep your personal thoughts to yourself."

First of all, if columnists kept their thoughts to themselves there would be no opinion page. But I bet Kaiser Permanente also appreciates support for O.J. being voiced on their own official letterhead (or letter-bottom, as e-mail signatures and company e-mail accounts go).

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