Terrorism: October 2007 Archives

... it's a terrorist in Speedos:

"The U.S. military has ended an inquiry into who smuggled unauthorized underwear and a bathing suit to two prisoners at Guantanamo Bay without learning the source of the contraband skivvies, an attorney said on Wednesday.

The investigators concluded more vigilance was needed to prevent contraband from entering the camp that holds 330 suspected al Qaeda operatives, said Capt. Pat McCarthy, the military's chief lawyer for the detention operation at Guantanamo.

Media reports of underwear smuggling prompted snickers when it came to light last month and McCarthy admitted, 'We laughed too.'"

But apparently it's all fun and games till someone commits Speedo suicide:

"But he said it was a serious breach because the Speedo bathing suit and the athletic-style briefs were made of very strong fabric that could enable them to be used as nooses, as could the cord that cinched the waist of the bathing suit."

Next we're going to be hearing complaints that the prison-issue boxers are chafing al-Qaida operatives while they dine on chicken a la orange and read "Harry Potter."

(And no, Saddam isn't connected to this story, but he illustrated the point well... or poorly.)