Busting a Recap

Next week it's Texas. Hope it's better than tonight. But we'll still remember such oddities as Phuong Pham, a not-so special singer who insisted she was just like Taylor. (Her own mom said she wasn't pretty enough for TV - which is totally untrue. Hey, she's more interesting to look at than 75 percent of the peolpe already on TV, OK, mom?)

And that couple swapping spit on camera? Yuck-o-rama. Cavett Carr and Darold Gray were their names. They met at a bus stop, and, boy, both are bad. Simon jokingly tells the girl she's great. Then, Darold tries out - NO! Get back on that bus, kids.

And the guy shirtless guy who made cat noises and creeped everyone out? Martik Manoukian was just plain weird. He was crawling and clawing and seemed deeply disturbed. If you saw him on the street, you'd dial 911. If he was in your backyard, you'd call animal patrol. After a whole lot of prowling around, Cowell told him to just sing already. After the meowing stopped, he was sent back to his kennel. Pick of the litter-not.

L.A. -- we did a whole lot better last season.