March 2007 Archives

david: They cut into "House's" times? The bastards!
david: Though I must say, I love the way Fox's announcer says, "Viewer discretion ... is ADVISED." Like he's all about the nasty shit.

(AAAAND break.)

david: Wow, this montage of the performers would be enough justification for the Bush Administration to attack the Fox Studios.
sem: torture....in short.
mizrock: those are WMDs, for sure
david: So, who do you guys think will win? Melinda?
mizrock: Definitely... I think Sanjaya is going to make it to like the last four JUST to torment America.
david: I think Fox wants to keep Sanjaya on there, for a number of reasons. Why else would they have pulled that lachrymose tot stunt last week?
sem: that little girl?
mizrock: She was on Extra getting a makeover. Her 15 minutes is SO over, she owes America about 30 minutes.....
david: It would've been even better if they had had a Down Syndrome kid weeping for Sanjaya.
mizrock: true.

david: "Don't Speak?" How about "Don't sing?"
mizrock: how long has he been working on that beard? four weeks?
david: Did he find that jacket in a dumpster?
mizrock: think so. got the tie from some sixth grader
sem: just look into his eyes...everything will be fine.

david: My dog: lying in the other room; looking at me bereftly. Maybe he just wants to go for a walk, but I think he's an aesthetically perceptive fellow.
sem: can he blog?
david: At least as literately as i can.

(on the judging)
mizrock: oh, this will be painful, I hope
mizrock: say it, he SUCKED!
david: "You made the most of it:" Like my dog made the most of an empty jack in the box wrapper.
mizrock: WHAT THE HELL?
mizrock: Are Paula and Simon both smoking??

sem: i like jordin guys. i may pay attention now.
mizrock: I sing this better in my car
david: I dress better than that in my car.
mizrock: Daisy Duke on steroids
sem: ha! (that outfit IS hideous)
(jordan signals heart to voters)
david: Oh, look: Jordin loves me.
david: She wouldn't lie, would she?

david: (So Randy says,) "You tell a story from the very first word that comes out of your mouth?" Is that possible? Don't you need more words to tell a story? Just saying.

mizrock: Oh, you're gonna love Melinda...as soon as you get over her big head.
sem: awww man, she flipped her hair :(
david: She looks like that woman on Grey's Anatomy who's really bitchy.

(and the first actual music-related comment of the night.....5, 4, 3, 2...)
david: Good voice; hate the song.

(back to your regularly scheduled blogging)
sem: dr. bailey! (i love that show)
mizrock: that's it, I'm wearing leggings into the office tomorrow

david: halfway through, ears blood-free...He looks like he's there courtesy the Make a Wish Foundation.
mizrock/sem: LOL!/hahahaha (shame!)
sem: there you go david: the police
(minutes later)
david: I had a herniated disk about 15 months ago, and I thought THAT was painful.
mizrock: i've heard better karaoke..sober.

david: I was at a Kings game last week at Staples Center, and Seacrest was there, and when the cameras were trained upon him, the boos outweighed the cheers.ou got the sense that the only way the crowd would've approved of his presence was if Rob Blake checked him against the boards.

sem: OMG, his HAIR!....quick, look away from the TV.
david: And Sanjaya comes out to America.
mizrock: maybe he and Gina can split attorney fees...
mizrock: Remember Sean Cassidy? Now think Sanjana
david: I'm trying not to think at all...that's the only way I'll get through this.

david: I don't know if it means anything, but my dog just left the room with a most reproachful look in his eyes. He's lost all respect for me.

sem: she'll be wearing fishnets.
david: Do they ever actually advise these people on what to wear? Because if they do, I would sue them.
mizrock: you'll love gina....
(minutes later)
david: SHE's in the Top Ten?

david: Maybe I'd watch if they mixed it up more. For example, why can't they have a Leonard Cohen night?

mizrock: why does she look like a schoolgirl?
david: Paula knows about "staying in the pocket."
mizrock: "Eyesore?" (Paula) Ouch
sem: he should've taken off his glasses.

david: These sorts of gruel-y songs performed in this sort of bombastic way makes my ears bleed.

(guest judge, david, makes it just in time. kick rocks sanjaya!)

david: Paula's still crazy, and after all these years, Simon and Seacrest are STILL gay-baiting one another. Is there anything else I need to know?
sem: ummm, no.
mizrock: I love her.

sem: i know i promised more testosterone this week but...he couldn't join us. i think the sanjaya fans sent him a threatening letter.
mizrock: so sad...so tonight I am drinking a fine vintage Arrowhead Mountain Spring.

Why Stephanie??? Whyyyyyy???

TONIGHT: Before Fergie stole her sound and Nelly Furtado her dance moves (not to mention her haircut), Gwen was the wo-man for...weird, pop-y, whiny rock music with rap breaks. Stefani will be taking over the role as IDOL music mentor (trying not to laugh too much along the way, I'm sure). Until then...

Women + Wine + SANJAYA stalker = end of a long night.

mel: ladies... your votes?
mizrock: oooh, I like her top
mel: haley has nice legs
mizrock: Haley knows how to play her body
mizrock: Chris needs to learn how to throw himself into the song
mel: he is a bit self contained
sem: i like chris r.
mizrock: Chris just wasn't into the song
sem: but jordin is my first pick
mel: blake still not my fave.
sem: i liked Jordin's energy
mizrock: Jordin rocked
mel: oh yeah, jordin. i forgot. i think melinda will take votes away from her.
sem: probably since the judges LOVE her
mel: PHIL IS GONE.
mizrock: i think so too...Phil needs to say bye bye
mizrock: my dog , Dusty, agrees
mel: gotta keep SANJA for fodder
mel: Woof.
mizrock: Oh please!
mel: Woof. woof.
mizrock: SaNJA SUCKS!
mel: sorry, gina sucked, too.
mizrock: I wish Chris would get behind his song
mel: MELINDA rocks
sem: thanks guys!

Tune in next week for a more testosterone-infused Idol Chatter...promise!

mizrock: You have to be old like me to appreciate this, it;'s a song from the musical "Oliver"
mel: ahhh... oliver. they did that at the PCPA in Solvang when i was growing up... memories
sem: the Sanjaya fan is crying again. she needs help
mel: she need to prozac.
sem: i think mel (dare i say it) is kinda boring....but her voice is nice.
mel: i love her voice and polish.

sem:i dont have cable ...representing channels 4 through 13
mel: WHAT the??????????? are you human, sem?
sem: only half
mel: ok, i'm good w/ half.

sem: i want to give chris a hug and a hair press
mel: the glasses are back on chris this week
sem: thank goodness...glasses were cool in the 60s right?
mizrock: I hate it when they dance with the mic stand
sem: dancing with the mic was cool in the 60s right?
mel: PAULA sit down
mizrock: I' m outta wine

During the Sanjaya performance, our online Idol Chatter discussion was interrupted by a crazed Sanjaya fan.

xlruffxryderlx: 1-866-436-5708 - VOTE FOR SANJAYA!!
mel: id yourself xlruffxryderlx or else we'll call the aol police
xlruffxryderlx: 1-866-436-5708 - VOTE FOR SANJAYA!!

Needless to say, we were concerned for our digital safety. We think it's time for Sanjaya to go. It's causing a disturbance in our lives and our loved ones. Vote him off already, America...it's not too late to protect yourselves...or your eardrums.

mel: too hard rock chickish for me. i'm a norah jones kinda gal
sem: i need a refill
mizrock: I love the bright red in her hair
sem: i'm scared..is this supposed to be a scary song? what's it called again?
mel: Paint It Black by the Rolling Stones.
mizrock: something is missing. Maybe the rest of the stones?

mizrock: Be forewarned, we might not say nice things about him
sem: i'm scared
mizrock: cut your damn hair
mel: when i signed on tonight. he was on the home page and my 3-year-old asked who is SHE, mom? and so it goes...
sem: WHO is that girl that's CRYING???
mel:: that poor, poor girl. and, she probably lives in the valley.
mel: ashley... painful. do metrosexuals like young girls?
sem: omg, she's....a....FAN???!

mizrock: (husband) Frank wants to hear Simon tell Sanjay "do the right thing and withdraw"
sem: whoa! haha..
mel: isn't this a family show?????????????.... isn't this a family blog?
(silence)
mel: oh who am i kidding

mel: my husband says jordin looks hot
mizrock: This is a great song...her hair looks good!
sem: she's singing with her eyes....wow, musical theater!
mizrock: She's doing fabulous....and Randy agrees with us.
sem: all that praise without one "Yo"....we may never drink again.

sem: how's he gonna sing the blues??...i wonder if he's ever HAD the blues
mizrock: He's too white for that song
mel: very scary guy. my husband says he looks like a manequin
sem: no johnny cash....not with that (dress) shirt and Moby bald-cut
mizrock: he's all over the note map and Sarah wants to know who taught him to dance?
mel: my husband says he runs like a girl
sem: your husbands are HARSH....
sem: (they fit right in)

mizrock: love the dress....hair leaves something to be desired
sem: whoa, dramatic with the slow turn around at the beginning of the song
mel: she's a real performer. (singing "Diamonds Are Forever")
mel: where is the bling from?
mizrock: CLAIRES

later...

sem: paula just callled her out.... a million dollars worth of diamonds.
in unison: wowwwwww

mel: oh baby... here's your northwest boy.
sem: oh is HE from the northwest? oh shit, i was trying to claim chris r....but instead we (washington) gets BEAT BOX BOY.
mel: is he wearing pj bottoms.??!!
mizrock: i think so... why is he whispering
mel: paula, sit your ass down.
mizrock: no you suck....He is SO off the beats, that last note was painful
mel: where do you think he got those pj bottoms? they look so comfy.
mizrock: Kohls

mizrock: Patrick Dempsey, Sean Connery
mel: my dream man... that's a tough one. Bruce Springsteen or Harrison Ford.
mel: sem... your dream man/men.
sem: i'm more of a "personality" girl...but i think mark wahlberg is sexy....wait, i need more time to think!
mel: marky mark.... yes. i can see that.
mizrock: Kevin Costner used to do it for me
sem: kevin costner!!?
mizrock: Note that I said "used to"

fashion first....

sem: she always looks good.
mizrock: yes.
mel: the jewelry doesn't work for me. but an attractive girl.
mizrock: I love the dress, not so sure about the earrings.....looks like paper clips and pipe cleaners
mel: a little prommy for me

oh yeah....

mizrock: Mmmm. I'll take McDreamy
mel: Oh, wait, is someone singing? It is just that boring
sem: dozing off
mizrock: My husband just snored

mel: my husband just said he liked it... sleeping in the den tonight, baby.
mizrock: My husband agreed...Shows what they know
sem: i dont have a husband but if he liked it he'd be sleeping in the den too....(solidarity)
mizrock: we don;'t have a den, but he can sleep on the couch
mel: better than the floor.

mizrock: I just can't get this guy
sem: Chris is from Washington! my home state!
mel: he is whinnyyyyy. sem... you are such a CAL girl now, forget the Northwest.
mel: now i'm going to be like fred... i'm digging the guitar.
sem: nice eyes
mizrock: yeah, eyes
sem: nice touch, the guitar
mel: on the hot chart, he's a 7 tonight.
mizrock: and the big closeup. Sarah (daughter) says pitchy
mizrock: The last note was a 5th grade talent show and we like him
sem: i have a warm feeling inside...i think it's the baby blue shirt he's wearing

mel: first of all, we all must say what we are drinking while watching, it is the only way to watch this w/o tivo afterall
me... a nice firestone ale.
mizrock: Merryvale 2002 Cabernet Sauvignon, Starmont, Napa Valley
mel: nice choice,
sem: mine's cabernet sauvignon, smoking loon, (still learning)
mizrock: Smoking Loon not my fave, but my son drinks it
sem: still learning! plus, it's affordable :)
mizrock: it's popular in Virginia

mizrock: Shorts?
sem: the shoes are cute...my roommate says they look Louis Vuitton knockoffs from 2004 (why she knows this, i cannot explain)
mizrock: She's working the crowd well
mizrock: shimmy??
sem: I KNOW, when did shimmying become acceptable?
mizrock: Outside of Vegas, I dunno..."Didn't they do a lot of shimmying in the 60s? You would remember that," my daughter says.
mizrock: she's grounded.

sem: blue and purple suits ryan.
mizrock: purple and gray seem to be a theme...What the hell is Paula wearing? She's matching with her Coca Cola cup.
sem: we should switch from music commentary to fashion...i know nothing about British pop.
mizrock: This is like saying"these are all the GOOD groups we wanted...but tonight, we'll be settling for.......Herman from Herman's Hermits!

Bye Bye Brandon.

Hello Top 11!

This is going to be a long countdown...

And Idol Chatter will be here...chatting...tonight...about Idol.

Brandon Rogers, who forgot the words to his song in competition yesterday, got the big boot Wednesday - and with him went any chance that a Valley guy or girl would be among the season's finalists.

Rogers, 28, a former backup singer who lives in North Hollywood, was the last of four L.A. residents to be eliminated. You can now officially abandon all hope of something similar to last year's McPheever phenom taking place.

The first of the final dozen to be voted off the top-rated Fox network talent contest, Rogers said he had no hard feelings, especially after stumbling through lyrics to the Motown classic "You Can't Hurry Love" on Tuesday. "I kind of expected it," he said.

So did we. Although most of us predicted Sanjaya would be kicked off first. Close. Sanjaya Malakar and Phil Stacey had the next-lowest vote tallies in the phone ballotting, which drew about 28 million calls and text messages.

fred: can i stop crying yet?

sem: my vote goes to diana ross for "best tv performance by a legendary singer playing a legendary singer who gives a damn about these (mostly) mediocre singers butchering her songs (mostly)"
jill: i predict while atonella is mulling offers from playboy, jordin, melina and lakisha will be mulling record deals!
fred: and in two weeks, this blake fellow is gonna be back at a starbucks sidewalk table in brentwood hoping somebody notices him.
sem: my roommate and I are wondering if there's a phone line that is taking votes to cancel out all votes for Sanjaya?

jill: does anyone think she sounds like mcphee when she talks?
sem: let's ask the mcphee expert...
fred: yes, the mcphee connection. it's there all right.
jill: and she's sitting just like mcphee did for ''somewhere over the rainbow''
sem: my roommmate is fallin out over this song...she's having visions of little dinosaurs
fred: what song is this?
sem: If We Hold On Together from the Land Before Time soundtrack...classic movie
fred: i don't know about jordin - she has a chance.
jill: i love her. i don't think she'll win with those other two, but she'll be a star
fred: OK, i now like jordin. officially.
sem: that was quick.

sem: "you're cute!" (diana)...she said it and America agrees...
jill: "i'm not different than you execpt i'm older" (diana)...ha!!!!!!!!!!!
sem: is she flirting??
fred: yes, she's attracted. it's mating season at the ross household.
jill: he's got a lot of control over his voice...especially when he goes up and down from that falsetto
sem: "falsetto"....impressive, jill.
fred: he's gone right over the top -- it wasn't "dreadful" (simon). it was competent.
sem: jealousy is a sickness....

jill: paula in ryan's lap...hmmm?
sem: she's such a cutie!
fred: adorable.
jill: don't really like the dress, but when you sing like that, who cares?
fred: stephanie's slowed this song down to a turtle pace.
sem: this is..i mean USED to be a disco song?...paula sounds annoyed by that.

fred: who is this
sem: why is he remixing her song??
jill: i love blake...he's so creative...but diana must be wondering what the heck he's going to do to her song
sem: i think he's trying to compete with chris for the "best justin timberlake impersonation" award
jill: paula's dancing...again...better than crying..

sem: ross givin out fashion advice? *taking notes*
sem: um, she sounds really good
jill: ditto
sem:billie (holiday) wouldn't be mad at it
jill: sign me up for a lakisha record when it comes out
sem: fred?

fred: hey, did that daylight savings time thing work out OK for everyone?

This moment was brought to you by fred and guinness.

jill: eeks!
sem: err
jill: but i actually like this version...best guy by far
sem: which isn't sayin much
jill: the only guys i look forward to hearing are chris and blake...
sem: chris is the cute one right?
jill: yup!
fred: that guy scares me

sem: i dont remember this chick
jill: that's because she's so forgettable!
fred: missing you is a good song don't you agree?
sem: yes!
jill: my neighbor could sing better than this
sem: yes!!
jill: i hate to be a hater on everyone, but this sucks too
fred: she looks exactly like katharine mcphee...but why is she swallowing the mic? it's called missing you, not swishing you.
sem: she has that "pitchy" condition plaguing a lot of them tonight
fred: wouldn't a Skinny Cow be good now?
sem: YES!

jill: tapping his feet will not help his voice..
sem: people must really like his hair
jlll: not gonna work. this sucks. two words into the song i knew it
fred: he's still a virgin. i can tell.
sem: "sweetest soul" (paula)???? it's the hair. it hypnotizes people. he sucks!
fred: yeah but he's cute and that counts for a lot these days.
jill: HA! he feels like he should be there next week? what else can he say? he was SHOCKED when he stayed and Sundance was booted...
sem: da' nile isn't just a river.....

fred: i was just on my roof and everyone in my neighborhood is watching this show. space aliens coule be attacking and nobody would know.

This moment was brought to you by fred and guinness.

jill: Ha. Gina is so young she called her miss ross
sem: i really like her voice.
jill: i think overall this is average...about as good as Gina could do with a Diana Ross song
sem: "UH YO" (randy)...where's mel when you need her?
sem: she chose the "right song" (simon) but the "wrong outfit" (me)
fred: if someone told me i was "pitchy in spots" (randy) i'd go to the ER immediately.
jill: That tongue ring is so distracting
jlll: Uh-oh...the teenager better known for his hair is next...
sem: Sanjaya....noooo!

fred: i have to go up to my roof -- i hear some noises...if i'm not back in three minutes, call the COPS.
fred:... or send carmen electra in a police uniform

This moment was brought to you by fred and guinness.

sem: "your eyes, your eyes, they tell me how much you care".....ok, NOW i know why he took off his glasses.
sem: to show us how much he cares....*tears*
jill: i think the glasses make him better
fred: this guy looks like a pudding -- but he has a good voice.
sem: pudding?
fred: it's a desert-like RED VELVET CAKE.
jill: man, the girls are going to look even better tonight after these subpar guys' performances

sem: Melinda looks nice...she must've gotten a stylist
sem: WHY is diana ross being so NICE?
fred: she's got a gutsy voice. it's a little "pitchy" but it's got power.
sem: why is melinda crying?
sem: why is paula crying?
sem: but simon is laughing...figures.
jill: she's so emotional
fred: simon is so on target -- a young gladys knight. i can definitely see that.
fred: hold it. i have to dry my tears...whenver ryan says "standard text messaging rates apply" i just start to cry. i don't know why..

jill: I think Brandon's version is safe, so far...Simon won't like it
sem: ew he cracked
jill: He bailed on that high note...took the easy way out
sem: OH SHIT! he forgot the words AND he's out of breath.

fred: damn. live audience? how come we weren't invited?

The 12 remaining contestants will be singing the tunes of the legendary Diana Ross.

I wish them luck...I hope some of them have written their apology letters to Ross in advance.

(she'll be watching...ok, no she wont, but still....be afraid.)

Producers have announced "Idol Gives Back," where the top six contestants will sing inspirational songs during the regular performance show April 24, plus an extended results show April 25 featuring musical artists and celebrities such as Gwen Stefani and Kazakhstan journalist Borat Sagdiyev (Sacha Baron Cohen). Also scheduled to appear are Josh Groban, Pink, Michael Bublé, Annie Lennox and Il Divo.

For every vote cast during the performance show, sponsors Coca-Cola and AT&T, as well as various other partners, will donate money to the charity. Viewers can make their own donations via telephone and Internet during the extended Wednesday results episode.

"When we were approached by Richard Curtis [co-founder of the U.K.'s Red Nose Day charity], Simon Fuller, Simon Cowell and CPEF about this project, we felt it was a natural fit," said Peter Chernin, president and chief operating officer, News Corp. "For the past five seasons, viewers have fulfilled the dreams of the contestants. Now they have the chance to help us change the lives of children and young people in need and at risk, here in the U.S. as well as in Africa."

Tears flowed as the road ended for four more “American Idol” contestants Thursday, leaving a dozen finalists to compete next week.

Given pink slips were Studio City singer Sabrina Sloan, Antonella Barba, Jared Cotter and Jason "Sundance" Head, who were cast off by voting that drew about 37 million calls and text messages.

The elimination of Sloan surprised judge Randy Jackson, who said she “should be in that top 12. America got that one wrong."A choked-up Sloan seemed to agree.
Barba, the focus of media scrutiny after racy photos of her surfaced a few weeks ago on the Internet, was shown the door to nobody's surprise. Judge Simon Cowell repeatedly said the girl wasn't up to snuff.

Cotter reacted to his elimination by telling host Ryan Seacrest he was "very" surprised. But Cowell insisted he had to spend more time on his vocals and less on his looks.

When Head was knocked off, judge Paula Abdul said she was speechless. “This is a singing competition, and Sundance, you've been one of our finest."

Thursday's show also featured a performance by "American Idol" winner Carrie Underwood, who recently snagged a Grammy for best new artist. She sang "Wasted," a song from her hit country music album "Some Hearts."

Brandon Rogers of North H-Wood remains the last hope for Valleyphiles of seeing a local yokel in the competition. Studio City's Sabrina Sloan, axed tonight, will soon be taking up position at a sidewalk table at the Starbucks next to Bookstar, where she'll spend the next few years hoping to be noticed. It's a hard job but highly rewarding.

mel: our vote... who is gone: Antonella and Antonella...and Haley, if there is a God.
fred: my votes go to melinda and lakisha - i believe in them. and i think america is gonna give eviction notices to sabrina and stephanie. double "s" curse.
sem: they give "S" names a bad name
mel: next week the drinking game is everytime randy says, "CHECK IT OUT"
sem: bet!
fred: there's a bug on my wall.

Melinda Doolittle sings "I'm A Woman"

sem: is she trying out for Dreamgirls??
sem: the hair, the fit, the attitude...
mel: fred and my husband wanna play in her band!
sem's roommate: someone doesn't suck.
sem: (simon says) "you little tiger"....is simon flirting???
mel: I think Simon is turned on. Scary.
sem: melinda's the only one who DOESN'T want to hug ryan.
fred: hahahahaha, ryan. i wouldn't hug him with simon's washcloth.

Gina Glocksen sings "Call Me When You're Sober" by Evanescence

sem: she's a little weird with the whole "this is my pillow...this is my stuffed frog..this is my retainer" intro
sem: nice voice (really)
mel: nice red bra
mel: fishnet on the arms...pierced tongue?????????????????????????
mel: pull your dress down gina
sem: yes mom
sem: fred?

LaKisha Jones sings "I Have Nothing" by Whitney Houston

sem: did ryan just say "up in da house"????
mel: oh, ryan, get a clue. you are a pasty white guy.
mel: LaKisha has the biggest voice of all. she is for real.
sem: something doesn't sound right with her singing this whitney song
fred: see, i really like these big girls. i think they sing the best. there's something about all that tummy room for the notes to slog around in.
fred: she's my absolutely fave.
mel: my husband says she looks like she is wearing a trash bag...having actually worn one once, i disagree.

Stephanie Edwards sings "Sweet Thing" Rufus with Chaka Khan

mel: from our guest judge... josh k.... we wonder when ryan will ask someone to touch is monkey (c) Dieter
mel: stephanie left no impression w/ me tonight;
sem: i just called her sabrina...oops.
fred: yeah. she's OK.
fred: i liked her enough to stop thinking about buying a new toothbrush...
sem: what kind?

Haley Scarnato sings...I have no idea.

fred: haley has a throaty voice. she would make a good lifeguard in the kids pool.
sem: what song is this?
fred: it's called "stars in the heavens, broken glass in my bum." it's a very sad ballad.
mel: drink drink drink!
sem: um, Carrie Underwood already won, sorry sweetie. Not gonna happen.
mel: ooooo simon is showing some cleavage

Antonella Barba sings "Put Your Records On" by Corine Bailey Rae

sem: YAWN
mel: yes, but nice lipliner and gloss...GONE!
fred: why are her lips so moist? she's glistening. i can't take my eyes off her upper lip. she's liptastic.
mel: gotta drink half a drink everytime randy says YO DAWG...i'm drinking cheap chianti, you?
fred: guinness.
sem: the commercials are better than the contestants...
mel: my husband just tivo'd it back to see how bad she REALLY is
mel: i think i might have to drink some more now.

Sabrina Sloan sings "Don't Let Go" by En Vogue

fred: sabrina looks like a mean witch.
mel: screw that, she's hot! and she's our little valley girl.
mel: I predict paula will say how beautiful she is.
.................
sem: bingo!
fred: she could sing the red velvet cake recipe and make it boring.

Jordin Sparks sings "Heartbreaker" by Pat Benatar

mel: i loved her. she's on to the next round.
mel: better than all the boys!
sem: she's adorable!...makes ryan look 4 feet tall though
sem: fred, what's ur opinion on jordin?
fred: i love him. i think he has lots of potential.
sem: fred!
sem: she's a girl!

...that the women are much more entertaining than the men last night.

melissa: Ryan kinda looks like Dieter from SNL tonight.

here goes!

Chris Sligh

sem: I'm sorry, but he's the best so far.
liz: I like his originality, voice and his cute puppy dog look.
sem: What? why is Paula hatin. she just wants a cute face :(.... he looks like one of the Osbourne kids though.
fred: Yeah i think Chris has a very good chance so far.
fred: He said "the cinnemon" of the song and he meant "sentiment."
sem: Still...I may actually vote for Chris...if I actually did that sort of thing.
fred: Yes, i too refrain from that sort of pre-marital public display.

Paul Stacey

sem: WHOA! Horrible!
liz: Leave the hat on. he scares me when he takes it off.
sem: His high note just scared me....i just yelled outloud.
sem: "the hat, the big eyes...all appeared very odd"...simon, that's mean (but kinda true)
liz: I agree with simon, no outstading performances so far.
fred: Ok...i was thinking about getting a dog.
sem: Really???? what about the hat guy?
fred: A yorkie.

Brandon Rogers

sem: Hmmm
sem: I dont know how ifeel
liz: Brandon is really good!
sem: Lots o energy, but "phenomenal"?? really Paula?
liz: Wow, i agreed with paula for a change and she is speaking really clear tonight.
sem: Fred?

Seacrest is asking dumb questions.

Jared Cotter

sem: Argyle and Stevie Wonder? Doesn't quite fit.
liz: He looks like a nerd and this was not a great song choice for him.
sem: He'd be sexy if he was a doctor, just not on American Idol...and lose the Bert eyebrows.
fred: Jared seemed super comfortable. the guy has confidence.
liz: Yes, he belongs in the top 12 but he has to pick better songs .

Chris Richardson

sem: Justin, we've found your brother, JT II.
sem: He may just win it...Paula's got stars in her eyes!
fred: he sounds OK, but it would be better with a freshly sprouted beard.
liz: I love him vocals are awesome, smooth style.
liz: Simon better back off of Chris, he is my favorite out of the guys.
fred: Warning: first grandma reference of night. chris dedicated his song to the old bird at home. simon didn't like it much: "cutesy, nasally, timid and safe."
sem: Can't hate a man who loves his granny.

Sundance Head

liz: Sundance Head need to lose the hair and find a new song
sem: yes
sem: again with the mousse!
liz: Lately I have been agreeing with Simon and that scares me.
fred: Sundance Head with the glued-on beard had an unusual song choice - Pearl Jam's "jeremy." people should try more glued-on beards on this show.

Sanjaya Malakar

sem: what was that?
sem: that's like ashanti trying to sing an aretha franklin song
sem: just blah
liz: it seems like his timing is off.
liz: If Paula doesn't like it, you know it's bad.
fred: i thought this guy was a girl at first. he has a girly voice. and he's pitchy big time. that guy is signing in the key of oklahoma.

Blake Lewis

fred: why is blake lewis wearing pajama bottoms? what is this? PJ night? i don't know if he's even singing in English.
sem: am i tired of white guys who look like that
sem: Gel, spray, mousse, i dont care, stop doing it!
liz: I like him, but i didn't like his song choice.

Everyone's sick of Fred Shuster's meaningless ramblings - especially Fred Shuster. So, we here at Daily News "Idol" HQ are bringing in two more "Idol" experts for a judging roundtable on tonight's show - DURING tonight's show. Join us at 8 and straighten us out with your opinions and thoughts on the competition. We're waiting for YOU!

West Hollywood's Alaina Alexander, Leslie Hunt, Nicholas Pedro and A.J. Tabaldo were sent home. HAA!
We were almost right. We thought Les would remain. But the problem was both Les and AJ chose to cover Nina Simone's "Feeling Good." And their efforts canceled the other's out. Both got the sack Thursday.
An emotional Alexander, 24, couldn't get through her reprise of that overrated Dixie Chicks song, "Not Ready To Make Nice," and broke down on stage after Ryan ordered her back to Santa Monica Boulevard. She can now be seen on a daily basis sitting at a sidewalk table at Starbucks talking loudly on her cell fone while hoping someone notices here.
Pedro was kicked off after his attempt at the old Sinatra routine had everyone gagging.
AM I WRONG? We need some input here, folks or we'll have "American Idol" taken off TV.

WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE SO FAR?? Stephanie, LaKisha, Melinda, Sundance, Antonella, Nick, AJ, Sanjaya, Sabrina, Haley, etc.?? We neeeed to know now......