LaKish gets La Boot

When Cowell simonized LaKisha last week with an eww-gross lip smack, it turned out to be the sort of omen only a mummy could love. Tonight, America - which has nothing better to do or worry about - voted the big gal off the stage. LaKish, we imagine, was instantly limo'd to the airport and strapped onto the redeye., kicking, screaming and tearfully singing "Stayin' Alive" all the way back to Flint, Mich. Why Flint? That's where she's from - duh.

Most everybody is sure Melinda's gonna win - except for the girls in our Woodland Hills mailroom, who believe strongly in the unseen powers of Jordin.