The Lakers aren’t exactly popping champagne bottles after their 113-93 victory Sunday over the Cleveland Cavaliers.
Instead, Metta World Peace delivered an impromptu 10-minute comedy show mostly centered on why he cares very little about the team snapping its six-game losing streak. Is it because the Lakers still have a 16-21 record and stand in 11th place in the Western Conference?
“No,” World Peace said “If I’m not mistaken, we’re supposed to beat this team.”
World Peace has said that after nearly every game. Few times does it actually happen.
“Today it did translate,” World Peace said. “Other than that, I don’t have any words of wisdom.”
World Peace lied. He was just getting started.
“I think every fan that’s listening right now should just watch repeats of “Three’s Company,” World Peace said. “We’re supposed to win this game. That’s it. Turn the radio off and go watch a movie or something.”
Why should Lakers fans do that when they can enjoy World Peace’s comedy hour? As Lakers guard Chris Duhon said as he sat by his nearby locker, “I got the best seat in the house.”
Indeed. World Peace proved just as entertaining as in the third quarter when his dunk attempt hit off the rim only for the ball to pop up several feet before dropping into the basket.
“I think fans have been suffering a little bit so I guess it was cool to see something like that,” he said.
It was also cool to see World Peace’s improv comedy.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to disrespect Cleveland, but we should win,” World Peace said. “What am I supposed to say? We played great tonight? No. We’re supposed to win. If I’m not mistaken.”
World Peace then had a bone to pick.
“I blame the media,” World Peace said. “Let’s talk. I blame you guys. First off, you have low expectations for us. You’re trying to get a great quote.”
He then mocked a reporter’s voice. “Your defense was GREAT TONIGHT!!”
“Ok? It’s supposed to be against five rookies that don’t know how to play the game,” World Peace said. “They see Kobe and they’re just excited to be in Staples Center. They partied last night. And we’re supposed to win.”
“I blame you guys for the low expectations,” World Peace continued. “Then I blame you guys for not promoting the team. Too many times, you talk about great players and then a team comes in here and beats us because you don’t promote team.”
He then questioned the media’s loyalty.
“You all converted to Clippers fans,” World Peace said. “I know you guys. All you beat writers have Clippers badges.”
World Peace then saw a foreign reporter with Chinese station “CCTV.” World Peace believed it stood for “Clippers Channel TV.”
“It’s ridiculous,” he said. “It’s all right. We’ll be back.”
The Lakers are 0-2 against the Clippers, though.
“I know we have to show you something,” World Peace said. “We have to show you team. Promote team. I’m calling you guys to promote team. Everything is Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe!!!”
I then interjected.
“We also say, “‘Lakers lose.'”
“No, I can research and call my attorney. I don’t have time to do the actual research,” World Peace said. “I research all the time the media and they just promote the Fantastic Four. And ya’ll left me out. Ya’ll left me out. It wasn’t the Fantastic Five. You forgot about everybody else.”
So you pay an attorney to look up articles?
Said World Peace: “I read your articles.”
A foreign reporter then tries to ask World Peace a question.
“I’m not finished,” World Peace said. “Hold on rookie. This is your first year, right? You’re a rookie. You’ll get used to this even though your makeup is nice. We have good players on the team. You need to talk about team, team, team.”
World Peace did say in the offseason, however, to blame him if the season goes south.
“Yes, you can always blame me,” World Peace said. “I don’t mind. That’s why I’m here. Not everybody is built for that. Everybody is not built for that. They don’t want the pressure. Not only do I want the pressure. I’m going to crush the pressure, bite the pressure and drink the pressure. Then piss it out.”
It looked like World Peace was done. But then a reporter told him that Coach Mike D’Antoni considered the Lakers’ game against Cleveland as very important.
“No, we’re supposed to win today,” World Peace said. “Don’t have such low expectations for us please. Have high expectations for us when you come into this locker room.”
I chimed in again.
“Fine. You guys didn’t do anything tonight.”
“Thank you!” World Peace said. “That’s what I wanted to hear.”
World Peace didn’t like hearing about Earl Clark’s sudden emergence.
“Earl has been doing that all year,” he said “It’s nothing new. It’s new to you guys. You guys always say, Kobe! Nash! Dwight is here! Nash is here! You forgot about everybody else.”
He then looked at a reporter’s credentials.
“You’re with the Orange County Register, the rich part of L.A., reading your newspaper in Starbucks, wondering about Kobe Bryant and you forget about Earl Clark,” World Peace said, laughing.
World Peace insisted he never doubted Clark.
“He could average 15-20 [points],” World Peace said. “I don’t know. Maybe more. I don’t know his potential yet. But I’ve seen that every day consistently so I’m a believer. You guys are like ‘Dwight Howard is here in LA!’ You forget about the little guys.
It’s hard to forget about World Peace, though.
“That’s right,” World Peace said. “I’ll never let you forget about me. I can’t let that happen.”
He certainly didn’t by putting the Lakers’ win in perspective and making everyone laugh along the way.