February 2008 Archives

The fastest way to alienate a mother/consumer is to insinuate that you know better than she does what's best for her children, says Maria Bailey, author of “Trillion Dollar Moms: Marketing to a New Generation of Mothers.” She also runs BSM Media, a Pompano Beach, Fla.-based marketing firm specializing in that demographic.

Another quick way to lose moms as customers is to invest in advertising campaigns that circumvent moms entirely and aim straight at their kids. Read more of this fascinating Stores Magazine article at: http://www.stores.org/Current_Issue/2008/02/Edit3.asp

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As a followup to yesterday's ode to Costco wipes, I've created this handy poll, because I'm burning to know just how versatile wipes are. So cast your vote and we'll pub the results next week.

This is the story of how I found myself considering spending $50 for the privilege of purchasing a case of baby wipes. Let me explain.

After the excesses of holiday spending and entertaining, I was on a downsizing kick, and I let my Costco renewal -- due at the end of December -- lapse. My husband and I have been carrying on a dialogue about the pros and cons of Costco membership for about five years now. On the one hand, we really can't stand the supersized consumerism that Costco represents -- the big, fat SUVS filled with big, fat people jamming a big, fat parking lot so they can shop in that morbidly obese store.

The thing is, what I like at Costco I really like. There are the Noah's bagels, the rotisserie chickens, but I wouldn't fork over the $50 for Costco just for those things. I can get those elsewhere. What I can't get anywhere else is the baby wipes. It's not just me: Costco's Kirkland wipes have achieved a cult-like following on the Internet.

I googled "Costco wipes'' and found a slew of sites waxing philosophic about Kirkland wipes' superiority over other brands, like Target or Walmart. I was thrilled to discover that I'm not alone in how strongly I feel about these wipes. The biggest thing they have going for them is the way they are packaged. Kirkland wipes are the only ones I've seen that have a lid on the top of each individual pack, so the wipes stay moist.

For you nonparents out there, this is going to sound even sadder than it is bizarre. And believe me, I'm with you. In my days of singlehood, living in Manhattan and spending a day's salary on complicated drinks whose names I couldn't pronounce, I would have sworn that you would never hear the word wipe from my mouth, or my keyboard.

But here I am, writing with authority about a piece of cloth whose purpose it is to wipe a bottom. But there's your irony: I would venture to bet that the vast majority of baby wipe buyers aren't even using it for its intended purpose. At our house, Costco wipes clean hands and faces, double as dishcloths, dusters and indestructible picker uppers, way better than paper towels. They can stand in as an eraser for the chalk board, and my husband has taken to stashing them in his car to clean the windows.

There, I've said it. I've proven why it makes sense to spend $50 for the right to buy a case of wipes. Even though it really doesn't make sense.

Thoughts of how much work I'll need to put in to my daughters' tea party have kept me up the last few nights. I'm not kidding -- planning a really cool kids birthday party without spending a lot is tricky. It's all the details that scare me.

So imagine my excitement when this press release landed in my email: a new cable series, "Cool Kids Parties'' premieres March 8 on Fine Living Network (somehow, I don't think we get that one at our house, but I'm looking in to it). There are episodes on a cooking party, mad scientist party, and a surprise teacher appreciation party (a spa theme, complete with relaxing chair, robe, slippers and fanning - would this go over in the LAUSD?)

Anyway, any help is appreciated in the party department. Oh how I long for the days of pin the tail on the donkey, musical chairs and cake.

Here's an interesting story from the Wall Street Journal about kids getting wait-listed for preschool -- before they are even born! Nothing new here in Los Angeles.

The Brat Race: In Diapers
And on a Day-Care Wait List
By SUE SHELLENBARGER

For many young people and their families, enduring the wait list has become a rite of passage to gain admission to college, private school and even preschool.

Now, children are being wait-listed even younger -- in utero. After Kate Ferry learned last summer she was pregnant, she and her husband put their unborn baby on a wait list for admission to a child-care center next fall. "It was a running joke, that we told the day-care center before we told anyone in the family" that she was pregnant, says the Downingtown, Pa., mother-to-be.

As competition for good child care intensifies, parents in many regions are finding themselves on long wait lists, particularly for infant and toddler care; some are trying to nail down slots even before their babies are conceived. The trend poses a challenge for parents, who may not know how far to plan ahead and how to navigate the wait lists.

Data from the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies, a nonprofit organization of community family-support agencies, show the number of preschoolers with working parents exceeding the number of child-care slots by 25% to 75% in half the states, including California, Pennsylvania and New York. Price data from relocation consultants Runzheimer International of Rochester, Wis., suggest unmet demand is most intense in such urban areas as San Francisco, Manhattan, Boston, New Jersey and Miami, where price increases since 2004 have outpaced the cumulative national average increase of 17%.

Child-care wait lists are by no means universal; some child-care centers have plenty of slots. As former House Speaker Tip O'Neill once said of politics, all child care is local. Factors such as scarcity of rental space and growth in residential development all influence wait-list growth.

Generally, though, the trend reflects a flight to quality by parents. Among programs I surveyed with professional accreditation -- a hallmark of quality -- Bank Street Family Center in Manhattan has 130 applicants waiting for 12 to 15 likely openings. Wait lists at two Primrose Schools in Tampa, Fla., have doubled in the past three years to as long as a year, says owner Jana Radtke. Some centers run by Bright Horizons Family Solutions, based in Watertown, Mass., have wait lists of up to two years.

Tara Zito, director of Tutor Time Learning Center, the Downingtown, Pa., center where Ms. Ferry signed up, says many parents tour her center bearing spreadsheets set up to compare centers on dozens of criteria. Even though her wait list is longer than at other child-care centers in the area, many parents tell her gaining admission "is worth the wait," she says.

Some parents are staking a child-care claim before conception. At Jamaica Kids in Queens, N.Y., one father last summer told head teacher Sharon Mitchell to save a space for the baby that he and his wife were planning to conceive soon. "They went on vacation, and about a month later he called and said they'd been successful," Ms. Mitchell says.

The trend behooves parents to make child care a part of planning for parental leave. Kim Angelini of Exton, Pa., learned this the hard way when she was wait-listed for infant care after applying during maternity leave. When she tried to negotiate with her boss for more time off, he resisted at first, saying "there are 20 good day-cares in the area," she says. But he later relented, giving her a few more weeks off after she explained that only one center was of acceptable quality to her.

Parents can maximize their chances of rising to the top of wait lists by doing their homework. While some centers have a first-come, first-served policy, some directors also consider whether parents' expectations match their philosophy. The Bank Street Family Center fosters pre-reading skills in very small children through play, says director Amy Flynn; if parents want their children to start a formal reading curriculum at age two, she may tactfully send them elsewhere.

And if you do wind up on a wait list, don't despair; lists can evaporate quickly, especially for infants, because parents put themselves on more than one list or decide for various reasons to withdraw. Once wait-listed, call the center weekly, a Bright Horizons spokeswoman advises, to stay "on the director's radar screen."

HOW TO PREPARE FOR BECOMING A PARENT

Lesson 1

Go to the grocery store.

Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

Go home.

Pick up the paper.

Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already
are parents and berate them about their:

Methods of discipline.

Lack of patience.

Appallingly low tolerance levels.

Allowing their children to run wild.

Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding,
sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it, because it will be the last time in your life you will have
all the answers.

Lesson 3

To discover how the nights will feel...

Walk around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing
approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or s ome other
obnoxious sound) playing loudly.

At 10PM, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until
1AM.

Set the alarm for 3AM.

As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink.

Go to bed at 2:45AM.

Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

Sing songs in the dark until 4AM.

Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years.

Look cheerful.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...

Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all
summer.

Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

Then rub them on the clean walls.

Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

Buy an octopus and a sma ll bag made out of loose mesh.

Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang
out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a jar of paint, turn it
into an alligator.

Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape
and a piece of aluminum foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas
candle.

Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty packet of Cocoa
Puffs.

Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower .

Lesson 7

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it
out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like
that.

Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.

Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back
seat.

Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

There. Perfect.

Lesson 8

Get ready to go out.

Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour.

Go out the front door.

Come in again. Go out.

Come back in.

Go out again.

Walk down the front path.

Walk back up it.

Walk down it again.

Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.

Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every
cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect
along the way.

Retrace your steps.

Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbors
come out and stare at you.

Give up and go back into the house.

You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Lesson 9

Repeat everything at least (if not more than) five times.

Lesson 10

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can
find to a pre-school child. (A full- grown goat is excellent).

If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.

Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight.
Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.

Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having
children.

Lesson 11

Hollow out a melon.

Make a small hole in the side.

Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the
swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month old baby.

Lesson 12

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney,
the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on T V for at least five
years.

Lesson 13

Move to the tropics. Find or make a compost pile. Dig down about halfway
and stick your nose in it. Do this 3-5 times a day for at least two
years.

Lesson 14

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying "mommy" repeatedly. (Important:
no more than a four second delay between each "mommy"; occasional
crescendo
to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your
car
everywhere you go for the next four years.

You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 15

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually
tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the "mommy"
tape made from Lesson 14 above. You are now ready to have a conversation
with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Two fathers have launched a Web site www.dadsworld.com that promotes positive images of men as fathers. It's got articles on men's health, teaching kids table manners and the pros and cons of TV. Discussion forum topics range from the merits of being a stay at home Dad to Dads in the kitchen to true confessions from fathers about the unexpected depth of love they feel for their kids.

By Barbara Correa, Columnist
Article Last Updated: 02/13/2008 09:04:30 PM PST

FREE VALENTINE'S EVENTS: I always have grand aspirations about celebrating a holiday by taking my kids to special events across the city, but we never seem to make it. When admission is free, however, the incentive is nearly irresistible. The Treehouse Social Club, 426 S. Robertson Blvd., Beverly Hills, is waiving its $9 admission today for open play, which includes its treehouse, arts-and-crafts area and a gaming room with a Wii hookup. See thetreehousesocialclub.com (See my review in the previous blog entry)

DEBT NATION: Is your kid in debt? High school and college students could win a $5,000 scholarship in a video contest sponsored by the Service Employees International Union and the League of Young Voters to bring attention to growing credit card debt among young people. The best 30- to 60-second public service announcement about debt will win the grand prize; four runners-up will each win $500. See www.KeepItInYourPants.org

L.A. TEACHERS' AWARDS: Forget the Oscars. Los Angeles Universal Preschool is accepting nominations for Preschool Teacher of the Year. Nominations are open to preschool teachers, teaching assistants and aides who work in Los Angeles County. Candidates may be nominated by parents, colleagues or administrators. The deadline is March 3. See www.laup.net

FAMILY LEAVE CHALLENGED: The Family & Medical Leave Act allows workers to take off 12 weeks a year unpaid to care for a child or other family member with

a medical condition. But advocates for work and family balance and Hillary Rodham Clinton no less are criticizing the Bush administration this week for trying to make it harder for employees to take the leave. Under proposed changes, workers would need to give advance notice when possible, and employers could directly contact doctors to verify employees' claims.

YOUNG ACTIVISTS: The Acme Sharing Co. aims to instill a sense of community and conservation in kids by suggesting activities that are fun, free and educational. Here's an example from the site: Have the kids go around the house to hunt for all loose change. When glass jars and piggy banks are full, exchange the coinage for paper and then let them spend it on a charity of choice. See www.acmesharing.com

MOTHER'S HELPER: I love this. The whole point of Handipoints is to make work fun for kids. The Web site has online chore charts; kids use the points they win from doing their jobs to adopt and dress up a cartoon cat, play games, and watch cartoons in HandiLand, a virtual world in the vein of Club Penguin and Webkinz. See www.handipoints.com

We finally made it out of the house yesterday at 1:30 - just in time to take advantage of a couple of hours of free play day at the Cadillac of indoor kid play places: The Treehouse Social Club (http://thetreehousesocialclub.com). Tricia and Joely Fisher (daughters of Connie Stevens and Eddie Fisher) have done a lot with their Beverly Hills space: it does have a treehouse, it is very fanciful and will stimulate those little imaginations a la Alice in Wonderland.

It isn't as big as the ultra physical Under the Sea-type kid spaces, but what the Treehouse lacks in size it makes up for in cuteness. There's a separate craft room with zillions of drawers for supplies -- think apothecary for stickers and glitter glue. There's even a dedicated space for the older kids that has computers and a Wii.

My girls loved climbing the treehouse, but the really impressive thing about the Club was the staff. Henriette cheerfully guided five kids in making bejeweled mini flower pots -- complete with real live marigolds -- and rounded everyone up for a music and movement class. Kristin answered all my questions and invited us to indulge in cookie decorating even though the Valentine's Party was pretty much over by the time we arrived.

I hadn't planned on staying for hours on end, and since I parked on South Robertson right outside, spent the last half hour paranoid about my meter expiring and getting a ticket. My children were oblivious to this problem, of course, and when Henriette promised the music class would end within 15 minutes, I knew we'd have to stay.

Parting was such sweet sorrow, as I had to pry my daughters off the play equipment so we could leave in time to avoid the parking police. My final bribery to get them out the door? A promise that this Valentine's Day visit would certainly not be our last.

Barbara Correa

This is very last minute, but I was at Children's Book World today (buying birthday presents of course -- for kids not my own) and saw that L.A. Parent magazine is soliciting 1,000 word essays by mothers who have something to say about the hilarious absurdity that is parenthood. The deadline is Friday, Feb. 15! So if you have a funny story to tell, go to http://losangeles.parenthood.com to enter the contest. The winner will get to read with Momcelebs -- could be a way to start that stay-at-home career.

The Family & Medical Leave Act (FMLA) allows workers to take off 12 weeks a year unpaid to care for a child or other family member with a medical condition. But advocates for work & family balance and Hillary Clinton are critisizing the Bush Administration this week for trying to make it harder for employees to take the leave. Some of the proposed changes to the law: workers would need to give advance notice when possible; employers could directly contact doctors to verify the employees’ claims; workers would have to prove medical conditions twice a year from once a year currently. Here's the full text of the changes published in the Federal Register today: http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/FedRegNPRM.pdf

It used to be so simple when Valentine's Day meant bringing home a decorated shoe box filled with cards and maybe a conversation heart or two.

But in the 21st century - when grade-schoolers carry cell phones and parents thrive on outdoing one another on the birthday party circuit - nothing's simple when it comes to kids and holidays.

The innocence of Valentine's Day for the young set has given way to stuff - the candy, stickers, pencils and assorted red-and-white trinkets now lining store aisles.

In fact, kids in the U.S. will spend an average of $4.05 on their classmates and teachers, up from $3.35 in 2007, according to a report by the National Retail Federation.

Nationwide, Valentine's Day spending is expected to soar this year to more than $17 billion, with some $560 million being spent on kids' classmates and teachers.

The growing trend has some schools and parents looking for alternatives.

Rich Newman, principal at Edison Elementary School in Torrance, said he strongly supports the move to healthy food on campus, including on Valentine's Day.

"We don't want to take the fun out of school. We just want to take the junk food out of school," said Newman, a strict vegan who doesn't touch the bad stuff.

He hopes that de-emphasizing the heart-shaped candies and elaborate cupcakes might ease the sometimes cutthroat competition among parents bringing treats and trinkets to class.

Newman said he has witnessed classroom one-upsmanship such as mothers trying to outdo one another with elaborate goodie bags at birthdays. Not only does it set a bad example, it takes the focus off the kids and achievement, he said.
"He said he doesn't want to see a single piece of candy," said one mother of two at Edison. "I fear he'll walk by my kids' lunch and go, "Oh, my God."'

But Jill Nowak, whose daughter Jessica attends Edison, said the youngster came home from school last Valentine's Day with a shocking amount of candy.

At her son's preschool, which is also located at Edison, the kids got cookies, cupcakes and bags of candy - enough to send the kids into sugar overdrive.

This year, Jessica is making Valentine's magnets to give to her friends.

And other schoolkids are following suit, celebrating Feb. 14 - but most without the chocolate.

Parent Jamie Garson is helping to plan a "heart smart party" for her son's kindergarten class at Colfax Elementary in Valley Village.

One of the room mothers is a pharmaceutical company representative and will bring in healthy-heart literature and giveaways from her company. The kids will make healthy "ants on a log" - peanut butter-filled celery sticks topped with raisins.

La Canada Elementary first-graders will make valentines and then buy and sell them in a store using pretend money, said PTA president Pam Knapp.

Westside mom Julie Sisk said her son's preschool will go to a nursing home and sing love songs for residents.

Parents will surely embrace these healthy, educational alternatives to sugary holiday parties. But the most determined kids and parents will find ways around them.

"We will give out little candy bags or suckers - snuck in via the backpack," said Angela Dyborn, a PTA president at Linwood E. Howe Elementary in Culver City.

barbara.correa@dailynews.com 818-713-3662

Yep, Momspace is already in use, as a sort of social networking site for Moms (Myspace/Momspace). So, we are officially relaunching as L.A. Mama, which I am very excited about, because being a LOCAL resource for parents IN L.A. is what separates us from the masses of smart, well written blogs about parenting that are already out there. I felt it was important to maintain a reference to Mom, as opposed to Parents, because let's face it, Moms still do at least 80% of the kid stuff.

As I've said before, my goal is to be a resource for Socal Moms looking for the latest news and info about the most important work in the world and the job they spent 24/7 doing as best they can. I am out there every day, wolfing down online content and scanning it for anything related to work, kids, parents and life.

So tune in, log on and take 30 seconds to let me know what you'd like to see more of.

barbara.correa@dailynews.com