Being a Mom: September 2007 Archives

A former member of the West L.A. Moms Club (who moved to Texas) writes about picking up this book at the library and LOVING IT: "I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids'' By Trisha Ashworth and Amy NobileIn.

The spirit of the authors' love of "If you've ever" lists, here's one of my own. If you've ever:
* Served frozen waffles for dinner (doesn't that smidgen of whole grain count for something?)
* Stayed in your pajamas for the entire day (or two)
* Let your kids watch one more show because, after all, Noggin is "Like Preschool on TV"
* Ignored your nap-deprived child as he played with your cell phone because, frankly, a $50 phone call to China would be less painful than taking it away...

This may be the book for you. Peachheaders were recently asking for readign material -- looks like this one is a winner.

Taking care of yourself comes third, after taking care of your family and your house, in that order, according to a nationwide survey this month sponsored by cosmetics company Suave. Not exactly shocking news. But guess what came in 4th place? Taking care of your job!

That surprised me a little. Personally, my priorities are closer to 1. Family, 2. Work 3. Self.

Anyway, in the taking care of self department, the study found that 46% of moms have forgotten to brush their teeth in the morning and 58% have days when they didn’t have enough time to shower or bathe. Almost 70% say they have gone for weeks or months without a haircut, even though they needed one.

To celebrate/promote mothers spending time (and $) on themselves, Suave has organized a Moms spa day field trip at LuKaRo Salon in Beverly Hills this Monday, October 1. I think it's full, but you might try crashing it. Jenny McCarthy will be there -- and I probably will too!

Why didn't I think of this? No, I'm not advocating shopping in red lingerie. But I just love the idea behind this image: a shopping bag can be reusable AND biodegradable. This bag apparently doubles as a bra, and is a whole lot more fun than the crunchy fabric satchels most grocery stores sell. I wonder if Ikea could make its signature yellow and blue bag into an undergarment as attractive as this?

But seriously, this is important. By this time, everyone living anywhere near a Trader Joe's has received the message that it just isn't cool to walk out with groceries in plastic bags. Now, if I could just remember to bring the big stylish bag my husband keeps in the back of the car for just this purpose. Everytime I find myself in T.J.s though, I have once again forgotten to carry my eco friendly sack, and I get stared at walking out with bags and bags of pollution-spewing plastic.

Of course, the place I go the most, Target, seems to have slipped under the radar on this one. They have those bland red bags now, but they don't seem to push them too hard. The checkers always opt for plastic without being prompted.

What's your favorite shopping bag these days? Are you still doing paper or plastic? Seen any unusual reusables out there?

Living in L.A., land of the $700 Peg Perego stroller and the $80 Ralph Lauren toddler separates, it's hard to imagine how little so many of the world's mothers have. Even if you live near the poverty line here, you can still probably afford an umbrella stroller from Target, you have running water and a way to cook food.

Not so in places like Darfur. A web site called Mothers Fighting for Others brings to life the gaping need of basic equipment to keep a family going. Today they are asking for $30 donations to buy solar cookers for women so they don't have to leave the safety of the refugee camps to go and look for firewood. Yesterday they were collecting underwear, which is apparently too expensive in Kenya for women to buy.

The site also has links to other important child-related sites, like Stop Child Slavery. These things are hard to contemplate, especially from where we sit. Believe me, I'm the first to say that worrying about third-world hunger isn't much fun compared to helping your kids decide on whether to be Ariel or Sleeping Beauty for Halloween.

But as mothers we are part of a global effort to protect our children, and the only way to improve things is to use the power that's in our numbers.

Everybody - whether they have breasts and babies or not - seems to have an opinion about whether it's OK to breastfeed in public (for the record, Disneyland is definitely pro-breast baring. But it seems some of its employees never got that memo). My story last week about a nurse-in at Applebee's generated some heat between public display advocates and those who find it tasteless.

I consider myself neutral on this topic by the way - I absolutely assumed I would breastfeed my twins, but in the end failed to do it, and was OK with that too.

What came as a shock was the voicemail messages I got reacting to the story. I received several calls from, ahem, "older'' women who had breastfed decades ago. Not only were they not supportive of the nurse-in concept, they all said nursing women should just stay at home. That way, they can nurse freely without anyone copping a look. One friend who nursed her son said she agrees - it's pretty simple to "cover up'' and do it subtly, and really no need to become an exhibitionist (yes, some think of it that way).

But I see the other side too. That poor Mom at Applebee's in what must have been a sweltering Kentucky day didn't have a sweatshirt or blanket to cover with, so she got hassled. The woman has like five kids -- she deserves a break for that alone.

Yes, it's fun. Sure, it's fulfilling. But it's also bloody challenging, and we all need to laugh and commiserate about it now and again. I want to devote this space to the amazing Mother Jugglers, who are endlessly fascinating for their ability to do so many different things at once, without losing their minds. (At least not losing their minds on a permanent basis). It seems like every mother I meet, even if she's not going off to an office every morning, is doing something on the side. I think of these Moms as the most creative microentrepreneurs, each one the CEO of their own little family operation. I'm one of these Moms, trying my darndest to hold down a job and mind the kiddies too -- all while being reasonably nice to my husband. I know how I do it, but I love hearing how all the other jugglers do it too. I really want to hear from all of you about whatever is going on in your life. Just be advised that it may turn into a story for the real paper! I encourage you to bookmark this page, email friends and contacts about it and help us build a community of online idea sharers. After all, we're all in this together.