By Ryan Riley, Contributor
There was a TV show that aired in the 1970's called "The Six Million Dollar Man". Lee Majors played a character named Steve Austin (no, not the pro wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin from the 1990's WWF), a USAF test pilot that was severely injured in a plane crash, which cost him an ear, an eye, his right arm and both of his legs. The U.S. government used experimental bionic limbs to replace the body parts Austin lost in the crash. These implants made him much stronger and faster than a normal human, and his bionic ear and eye afforded him enhanced sight and hearing. The procedure and the parts cost a little over 6 million dollars (hence the title of the series) and Austin was pressed into service as a covert government agent to offset the cost of it.
What, you might ask, compelled me to bring this admittedly ancient TV series up? Well, I was watching a CSI rerun on Spike TV earlier this week and I saw a commercial for a rechargeable hearing aid called "The Bionic Hearing Aid" being hawked by none other than Lee Majors. It even had this juicy little quote: "It won't cost $6 Million, but you'll think it's worth it!" At first I was a little disheartened to see that a Sci-Fi icon from my early childhood was being used to shill for a product. Then I gave it some thought and came to the conclusion that this is actually a pretty bad-ass product tie-in. George Foreman made money lending his name to a product that had nothing to do with anything he did in his prior profession as a world-champion boxer. At least Majors was lending his name to a product that (at least somewhat) has the same effect as one of the enhancements that his character had in "The Six Million Dollar Man".
That got me to thinking: what other sci-fi & fantasy concepts have been (or could be) used to advertise products?
Burger King: The Kingons
This clever little product tie-in came very recently with the release of the Star Trek remake a couple of months back. The product was a series of collectors glasses based on the movie, and the Burger King mascot, the King, was morphed into an amalgamation of himself and the classic Star Trek alien Klingons. The result was a silent trio with the King's creepy smile, the forehead ridges of the Klingons and transporter technology, all of which they used effectively to gank Star Trek collector glasses from unsuspecting schmucks. They even snagged one guy's girlfriend to add insult to injury, but to be fair he kind of dared them to do it.
Battlestar Galactica Toasters
This is by far one of the most brilliant sci-fi product tie-ins ever conceived. Anyone that has watched the recently ended "Battlestar Galactica" series on the Sci-Fi Channel (I just can't get myself to call it SyFy just yet) knows that the most popular slur used to refer to Cylons is the word "Toaster". So NBC Universal got the inspired idea to make a stylized toaster with an image of a Cylon Centurion complete with a LED light for an eye. It's being displayed at the San Diego Comic-Con later this month (it's only available for purchase online). The only drawback is that it's being sold as a collectors item with only 2000 copies having been made. It's a damn shame, because I would love to see Tricia Helfer and/or Grace Park on TV vamping it up to hawk this product.
Dogma/Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back/Clerks II: Mooby the Golden Calf
OK, this technically wasn't a product tie-in, as it was created specifically for the movies listed above, but it was so well conceived & executed that I just had to include it. Introduced in the movie "Dogma", the character of Mooby the Golden Calf served a dual purpose. At first glance, Mooby appears to be an analogue for popular cartoon characters like Mickey Mouse that became so popular that a lucrative business was generated around it as a result. But Mooby also served as a prime example of idolatry. For those of you not familiar with the term, it is the worship of things other than God. It was no accident that the character of Mooby is a golden calf, as it is a reference to a story in the Old Testament of the Bible in which people worshipped a golden statue of a calf. The board of directors for the corporation that owns Mooby got executed by Matt Damon's fallen angel Loki, but the concept survived as a chain of fictional fast food restaurants in "Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back" and "Clerks II".
The next "Trust me...I'm a doctor!" Dr. Pepper commercial: Dr. Who
This one doesn't exist yet, but it's not beyond the realm of possibility. Imagine if you will, Dr. Who running for his life from a group of Daleks. When he makes his escape in the Tardis, he turns to the camera and complains about the hectic schedule a time lord like him keeps. He then opens up a Dr. Pepper and slowly sips it down, exhorting the advantages of slowing down to savor all 23 flavors contained within like Dr. J & Dr. Dre before him. Think it's too far-fetched of an idea? It's a good sight more appropriate than trying to tie in Gene Simmons of Kiss into the "Trust me...I'm a doctor" campaign, and it would definitely increase the fanbase for the cult BBC hit show.
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