Recently by Ryan Riley

By Ryan Riley, Contributor

Folks, I'm getting a little concerned about the general mindset of the country. I'm not speaking about our growing weariness of wars in the Middle East or the depressing state of the economy. Don't get me wrong, those things greatly concern me, but that's a rant best saved for another forum.

What I'm talking about is the ever increasing media coverage of guys that are unrepentant douchebags. It's getting to the point where I can't even turn on a news show without hearing a mention of a celebrity acting like unto a bag of douche. You've got quasi-celebrity douchebags from reality shows like Spencer Pratt and Jon Gosselin spouting off at the mouth to hold onto and/or extend their fifteen minutes of fame. There are the higher-echelon celebrity douchebags like Russell Crowe and Jeremy Piven, who probably already had an insufferably high opinion of themselves before gaining a modicum of success in Hollywood and becoming mega-douchebags. Then there are celebrities that we didn't suspect were douchebags up until now (like Tiger Woods and Jesse James), who were initially hailed as stand-up guys until we found out that they were messing around on their wives with multiple random women. I don't personally know any of these guys, but I know way more about them than I would like thanks to an incessant stream of coverage by both tabloid and mainstream media.

I think what irks me the most is that even those of us that claim to detest all of the attention these douchebags are getting have played a part in keeping the public eye on these guys by paying attention to their antics, if only to see them get their much-deserved come-uppance. If that weren't the case, then "news" shows like Entertainment Tonight and websites like TMZ and Perez Hilton would go out of business.

And those of us that follow comic books have an unnatural devotion to our own set of douchebags, a lot of whom happen to be heroes (or antiheroes). Just because they're comic book characters doesn't mean they can't be tools. But these characters have some entertaining qualities that persuade us to overlook the fact that they're a...well, you know. Here are some of the more prominent players:

Note: The following content contains storyline details and possible spoilers. You have been warned.

The Human Torch

Douchebag Behavior:

• Constantly uses his status as an A-list superhero to pick up ditzy chicks and cut in line at trendy nightclubs.
• Stole his best friend's girlfriend.
• Knowingly had a sexual fling with a gorgeous, super-powered thief.

Redeeming Quality:

Despite his sister's comparison of him to Paris Hilton, he seems to have genuine remorse over his actions when he realizes he has crossed the line. Also, despite all of his extracurricular activity he takes his role as a superhero seriously (for the most part).

Green Arrow

Douchebag Behavior:

• Abandoned his ward/sidekick Speedy (now known as Arsenal) when it was revealed he developed an addiction to Heroin.
• Even though he is in a relationship with Black Canary, he could never seem to stop himself from cheating on her until they got married.
• Was present at the birth of his son Connor, but bailed on him and his mom shortly afterwards. To make matters worse, when he met his son as an adult he feigned ignorance and kept his behavior a secret until he was compelled to confess while under the influence of a Black Lantern ring.

Redeeming Quality:

Green Arrow is one of the few douchebags that is aware of how much of a tool he can be. He is one of the most effective non-metahuman heroes in the DC Universe, and a lot of what drives him to fight for justice is the desire to compensate for his past behavior.

Jack of Fables

Douchebag Behavior:

• Knocked up the benevolent Snow Queen and tricked her into giving him her winter powers before leaving her high and dry. Added consequence: When she regained her powers she was so pissed off she ended up working for the Adversary.
• Attempted to steal Santa Claus' "Naughty" and "Nice" lists in order to blackmail the folks on the "Naughty" list.
• Trapped the Grim Reaper in a bottomless bag and made death cease to exist just so he could have sex with a fatally ill woman.

Redeeming Quality:

Even though Jack is a rogue, he usually ends up doing good deeds despite his selfish nature. He also discovered that there is at least one line that even he won't cross. When he found out that the Page sisters (whom he was trying to coax into a threesome) were also his half-sisters, he shifted his lusty attentions away from them. Of course, he found this out only after bedding each of them separately. At least Luke Skywalker didn't get past first base with Princess Leia before he found out they were related.

Cassidy

Douchebag Behavior:

• Has a history of putting the moves on his friends' girlfriends.
• After Jesse's apparent death he took advantage of Jesse's girlfriend Tulip, plying her with loads of prescription medication and alcohol in order to get in her pants.
• Has a penchant for beating on girlfriends with his vampiric strength when he's drunk.

Redeeming Quality:

Cassidy finally reached a point where he knew he could not forgive himself for his numerous misdeeds.. After a brutal fistfight with Jesse, he stood by as the sunrise arrived and burst into flame with a smile on his face. Jesse was killed shortly afterward as well, but thanks to a deal Cassidy made with God both he and Jesse were brought back to life. A vampire no longer, Cassidy decided to make a fresh start and follow Jesse's advice to him: "Just be a man!"

Sandman

Douchebag Behavior:

• Refused to aid his son Orpheus (the same character from the Greek myth) in his quest to rescue his dead lover Eurydice from the realm of the Underworld, dooming him to failure and his eventual undeath at the hands of the Maenads.
• Condemned his lover Nada to eternal torment in Hell just because she refused to continue their relationship once she discovered who he really is.
• Repeatedly played games of "Be careful what you wish for..." with various mortals, including Robert Gadling (who he made immortal just to see how long he would want to stay alive once he stumbled on bad fortunes) and the king of fabled Baghdad, who begged him to keep his city a place of wonder only to see it transformed into a shabby shell of its former glory.

Redeeming Quality:

It only took almost a century of imprisonment by a mortal and his sister Death calling him out on what a tool he's been, but Morpheus eventually came to see how callous he had been. He attempted to make amends to some of the mortals he had wronged and made peace with his son Orpheus before his death at the hands of the Furies.

I know I left some good examples out of this article, so this is where you guys come in. Leave some feedback on who which comic book character you consider a douchebag and why.

By Ryan Riley, Contributor

Imagine a universe where the Fantastic Four are the malevolent secret masters of the Earth instead of the "World's Greatest Superhero Team". A universe where the Human Torch is the son of the Shadow and the grandson of the Lone Ranger. Where an expedition to the Moon was executed over a century before the Apollo missions by firing a manned pod from a cannon tunnel a mile long. Where the ghost of a betrayed cop in Hong Kong reappears to exact violent justice on criminals that prey on the innocent. If any of the scenarios I just described intrigue you, then you're the kind of person that would probably enjoy Planetary.

Written by Warren Ellis (Transmetropolitan) with art by John Cassaday (Astonishing X-Men), the last issue of the Planetary series came out couple of years ago, but Wildstorm just released its last collected edition in hardcover in March. The entire series is now collected in the following editions:

Planetary Vol. 1 - All Over The World and Other Stories
Planetary Vol. 2 - The Fourth Man
Planetary Vol. 3 - Leaving The Twentieth Century
Planetary Vol. 4 - Spacetime Archaeology (just released)
Planetary - Crossing Worlds (a compilation of the one-shot cross-over books Planetary/The Authority: Ruling the World, Planetary/JLA: Terra Occulta and Planetary/Batman: Night on Earth)

Planetary follows the exploits of the Planetary Group, an organization dedicated to uncovering the secret history of the world. They investigate instances of the strange & unexplainable all across the Wildstorm universe in the hopes of finding documents and artifacts that can benefit all of humanity. The main character of the book is Elijah Snow, a century-old man with cryonic abilities (he freezes stuff) that learned his investigative skills from none other than Sherlock Holmes. His colleagues are Jakita Wagner, a woman with enhanced strength, speed, toughness and a "pathological fear of boredom", and the Drummer, a peculiar savant who can communicate with and manipulate technology of all kinds.

Don't expect to see too many original characters in Planetary outside of the main characters, because that's not what this series is about. Ellis and Cassaday take established characters (or character archetypes) from many genres, including comic book superheroes and villains (the aforementioned FF-based heavies), pulp novel heroes (Axel Brass is a less-than-subtle analog of Doc Savage) and classic sci-fi/fantasy novels (the aforementioned Holmes, Dracula, etc.) and seamlessly weaves them into a single fantasy world. The end result makes for, at the very least, some very interesting reading. Tales of Elijah's first forays into the unknown have him recalling adventures from finding a secret city in Africa that is straight out of an Edgar Rice Burroughs novel to confronting Dracula himself, freezing him in his tracks and kicking the frozen crotch right off him. During his later excursions the team uncovers mysteries like an island that produced monsters not unlike one would find in a Godzilla film and the remains of a secret concentration camp in the U.S. where suspected communists and other undesirables were vivisected in an attempt to create superhumans.

Warren Ellis' storytelling seizes upon the best aspects of more mainstream entertainment fare such as the Indiana Jones movies and the X-Files TV show and brings them into a Sci- Fi/Superhero setting in Planetary. Ellis is an expert at bringing out a reader's inner conspiracy theorist, and you get the feeling that government spooks with super-powers isn't all that far- fetched an idea. Another strength Ellis demonstrates time and again in this series is his ability to effortlessly integrate old-school adventure tales with more modern stories while maintaining a consistent storytelling voice. The art is as extraordinary as the writing; John Cassaday, perhaps best known for his sublime work on Joss Whedon's run of Astonishing X-Men, masterfully brings to life Ellis' esoteric characters and plot concepts.

The team of Ellis and Cassaday work so well together they make even a gimmick tale like Planetary/Batman worth reading, and the main hook of that story is that the Planetary crew encounter many different versions of Batman (including the campy Adam West version and Frank Miller's Dark Knight) as a man they are pursuing rotates them through different realities. Seeing Jakita get spritzed in the face by Adam West with a spray can labeled "Female Villain Repellent" is a nice nod to the 1960's Batman TV series and is worth the price of the book on its own merit.

Planetary is arguably Ellis' finest comic work to date, and definitely the best-drawn thanks to Cassaday. It's the perfect comic for fans that appreciate intelligently written stories and enjoy reading a variety of genres.

By Ryan Riley, Contributor

I was perusing MSN.com yesterday and came across the news item that actor Andrew Koenig has been missing since February 16, 2010. Koenig, the son of "Star Trek" and "Babylon 5" actor Walter Koenig, is probably best known for playing Richard "Boner" Stabone on the TV series "Growing Pains".

What many of you might not be aware of is that he once played the Joker in a film short called "Batman: Dead End". The film, released in 2003, started with a situation that is considered business as usual for Batman, tracking and capturing the Joker after he escapes from Arkham Asylum. After a well-crafted and surprisingly well-acted scene between the two characters, something snags the Joker from behind and kills him. The assailant turns out to be an alien (from the Aliens franchise), so of course a Predator can't be far behind. The inclusion of the Alien & the Predator kind of cheapens the film, but Koenig's performance as the Joker, while not as chilling as Heath Ledger's performance in "The Dark Knight", was pretty impressive. Between the make-up job and the sinister smile, Koenig's Joker looks like he jumped straight from the pages of Alan Moore's Batman: The Killing Joke.

So check out "Batman: Dead End", and join me in hoping that we find Andrew Koenig safe and sound.

By Ryan Riley, Contributor

Valentine's Day is coming up, and thanks to the tireless marketing efforts of jewelry retailers and Hallmark our collective thoughts turn to those of romance (whether we want them to or not). Valentine's Day is also an occasion that generates tons of articles about famous couples. Even comic book publications and websites get in on the act, as I found out when I ran a Google search on "Comic Book Couples". Some of the articles were pretty well-written, but a lot of them focused on the same couples, like Superman & Lois Lane, Spider-Man & Mary Jane and Reed & Sue Richards. And while those romances are definitely some of the most enduring, aside from the efforts of more adventurous writers (like Mark Millar's take on Reed & Sue in Fantastic Four) they can be somewhat uninteresting. So I've put together a list of some of the less-heralded but much more fascinating romantic pairings that can be found in the world of comics.

Cyclops & The White Queen, X-Men

This seemingly oddball pairing, which came out of the brainpan of Grant Morrison during his run on New X-Men, was met with a lot of criticism at first. It began when Cyclops, who had recently been freed from his possession by Apocalypse, started to pull away emotionally from his wife and longtime love Jean Grey. In an effort to find out what is driving him to drive Jean away he began to confide in Emma Frost, former White Queen of the Hellfire Club and current X-Man. She initiated a psychic sexual affair with Cyclops under the pretense of sex therapy only to end up developing romantic feelings for him. After an assassination attempt on Emma and the murder of Jean Grey by Magneto, Morrison left the series with Cyclops and Emma getting together.

When Joss Whedon took over the flagship X-Men title with Astonishing X-Men he could have done the safe thing by resurrecting Jean Grey (again) and reuniting her and Cyke. He even teased going in that direction before he brought the recently deceased Colossus back to the fold. Instead, he left Jean to rest in peace and began to explore the possibilities of Cyke & Emma as a couple. While I was a longtime fan of the Cyclops/Jean Grey pairing, I have to say that Cyclops/Emma makes for a more interesting relationship dynamic. Cyclops provides an impetus for Emma to remain on the straight-and-narrow path of an X-Man. Emma serves as a sort of Devil's Advocate that often encourages Cyke to think outside of the box both professionally and personally, making him a more well-rounded leader and human...er, mutant being.

Ralph & Sue Dibny, JLA

Ralph Dibny (a.k.a. The Elongated Man) and his wife Sue were the poster children for happy marriage in comic books. They were partners in every aspect. Sue would often accompany Ralph during his solo adventures, lending a hand whenever possible, and served as an administrator and honorary member in various incarnations of the Justice League of America whenever Ralph was a member. And since Ralph never took himself all that seriously the pair brought some much-needed levity to the JLA.

Sadly, it took her death in Identity Crisis to illustrate how truly special their relationship was. Sue Dibny is murdered at the start of the story and Ralph suspects that Dr. Light might have done the deed, which leads to the revelation that the JLA erased and altered Dr. Light's mind after he had invaded their satellite headquarters and sexually assaulted Sue. Later, in 52, Ralph is involved in a story arc that has him on a quest to resurrect Sue. The quest leads to heartache, a crash course in the mystic arts, a confrontation with Sue's murderer and ends with his death at the hands of the demon Neron. In the end he is reunited with his beloved Sue in the afterlife.

Bigby Wolf & Snow White, Fables

Both Snow White ("The fairest of them all") and Bigby Wolf (a.k.a. the Big, Bad Wolf that menaced the 3 Little Pigs & Little Red Riding Hood) lived in Fabletown, a New York City community of Fable characters that live in a self-imposed exile from their respective fairy-tale worlds. Snow served as Deputy Mayor under Old King Cole while Bigby, now able to switch between human and wolf at will, acted as Fabletown's sheriff. Bigby has found himself inescapably drawn to Snow since they first met centuries ago, but did not confess his attraction to her until they solved the "murder" of her sister, Rose Red.

Their courtship was a long, drawn affair that was complicated by the fact that they knocked boots while under the power of a magic spell, which resulted in Snow getting pregnant. The pair developed true romantic feelings toward one another, but fate would drive them apart for a time; because their children were part-wolf they would be forced to live at The Farm, a haven for all Fables unable to pass for human in the mundane world. Because of Bigby's past as a fearsome monster, Fabletown law prohibits him from even setting foot there, so the two were separated for a time. After executing a sabotage mission in the fable homelands, Bigby was given a chunk of land in the valley adjacent to the Farm as a reward. With nothing remaining to prevent them from being together, they got married and took their children to live in Wolf Valley as one big, dysfunctional Fable family.

Apollo & Midnighter, The Authority

The best way to describe this pair is to imagine the answer to the following question: "What if Superman & Batman were lovers?" The Midnighter & Apollo are possibly the closest we'll ever get to finding out the answer. The pair of them were made into superhumans by the commanding officer of Stormwatch, Henry Bendix. After their first mission went FUBAR they went underground, hiding from a commander that turned out to be a megalomaniac. After Bendix was ousted they were discovered by Stormwatch and given new identities after aiding them in the destruction of the Nevada Garden. After Stormwatch disbanded, Jenny Sparks convinced the two heroes to join The Authority, where they quickly became the most famous (and dangerous) gay couple on the planet. They eventually got married and adopted Jenny Quantum, the child that is the reincarnation of Jenny Sparks.

Luke Cage & Jessica Jones, New Avengers

We have Brian Michael Bendis to thank for this pairing. Luke Cage was already well-known as Marvel's one-note nod to blaxploitation before Bendis got a hold of him. He first utilized Cage as a supporting character in the Marvel Max book Alias. The main character of Alias (which is in no way related to the TV show featuring Jennifer Garner) was Jessica Jones, a character that was retconned to have been around since the first days of Spider-Man. After a failed career as a superhero she became a private investigator taking on cases from clients that still had connections to her former vocation. Jessica and Luke met shortly before she hung up her mask and maintained a "friendship with benefits" for a while. In a case of fortuitous timing they developed romantic feelings for each other just as Jessica became pregnant with their daughter. Jessica joined the staff of the Daily Bugle newsmagazine "The Pulse" as a superhero correspondent and participated in outing Norman Osborn as the Green Goblin. Osborn retaliated by attacking and injuring the still-pregnant Jessica. When Luke found out, he dragged Osborn out of his limousine and laid a street-side beating on him that would have made both Peter Parker and Sonny Corleone proud.

Their relationship hit a rocky patch during the fallout from Civil War and Secret Invasion, but they stayed the course and their marriage is stronger than ever.

Beast & Agent Brand, Astonishing X-Men

This pairing is the perfect example of opposites attracting. Abigail Brand is the head of a S.H.I.E.L.D. offshoot called the Sentient World Observation and Response Department (S.W.O.R.D.) which deals with extraterrestrial threats to Earth. Beast and the rest of the X-Men first met Brand when she strong-armed Nick Fury into making them relinquish custody of the terrorist from the Breakworld known as Ord. They didn't like her Machiavellian methods then and they really weren't enthused when she dragged them to the Breakworld in an attempt to stave off their attack on Earth. Beast in particular took a strong dislike to her brusque and demanding demeanor and made no effort to disguise it, so of course they are paired together for the majority of the mission. It all came to a head when Beast, knowing she was hiding something and tired of her manipulative behavior, demanded she come clean with whatever it was. She blurted out the response "I am so freakin' hot for you right now I could die!", which left the normally quick-witted Beast without a thing to say.

After their time on Breakworld, Brand offers Beast a job with S.W.O.R.D. and a free pass into her bedroom. When Beast questioned why she would want to get down with a blue, furry monster, she responded that she is only half human and that Beast bears a strong resemblance to the race her father hails from. Beast accepts both offers and is relatively happy in their relationship, referring to her as his girlfriend while she standoffishly refers to him as her "Xenophiliac Experimentation Partner".

Jesse Custer & Tulip O'Hare, Preacher

Despite the massive odds arrayed against this couple, they are determined to love one another "until the end of the world". Tulip O'Hare is a former tomboy whose N.R.A. member father taught her gunplay skills that would make John Woo giddy. Jesse Custer is a former Baptist preacher merged with Genesis, the offspring of an angel and a demon that gives him the power to make anyone that hears his voice obey him. The pair first hooked up years ago at a bar in Texas, and spent their youth stealing cars and rutting whenever and wherever the opportunity came up. He ended up leaving her in Arizona (for a very good reason), but they reunited after his merger with Genesis ended up destroying his church and all of his parishioners.

Despite strong feelings for Jesse, Tulip was resistant to resume their relationship, but ended up picking up where they left off after a life and death encounter with Jesse's twisted family. After that the only thing that could drive a wedge between them was his pathological need to keep her out of harm's way despite the fact that she can (and has) taken out groups of well-armed men with just a pistol at her disposal. It took Tulip a while to forgive Jesse for his admittedly sexist "Doing what a man has gotta do" attitude, but the two eventually ended the Preacher series by literally riding off together into the sunset on horseback.

Now it's your turn

As usual, if you can think of a great example that got left out of this article, it's on you to let us know about it. Leave your comments below.

By Ryan Riley, Contributor

Well, folks, I think we can all agree that 2009 was fairly eventful. Among other things, Barack Obama took office as President of the United States (more on him in a little bit), the "King of Pop" left this mortal coil unexpectedly, and the on and off-camera antics of reality TV stars (and wannabe-stars) dominated the news.

2009 was also a watershed year as far as our own little niche in pop culture and entertainment goes. Here is a list of some of the more memorable events and news items that took place last year. This is by no means a comprehensive list, so if you readers think I left out anything of greater importance than what I included, it's on you folks to give us some feedback below to let us know. Anyway, as Chris Rock is fond of saying, it's time to roll with the new.

Disney buys Marvel Comics & DC gets restructured

I don't think any of us could have predicted this one. In August 2009 it was announced that Disney would be taking ownership of the house that Stan and Jack built. Speculation ran rampant, and while a few in the comic book community expressed reservations, most creators and fans focused on the potential positive aspects of the new partnership. Marvel had already done well for itself outside of the medium of comic books with forays into movies and television, but given Disney's successful track record with production and marketing, their involvement in the of future Marvel multimedia projects could be akin to turning a DeLorean into a time machine. Conversely, if they get too involved in the creative direction of the comic books things could get ugly. Only time will tell how beneficial this development is to the fanboy nation, but if the results of their partnership with Square Enix, the "Kingdom Hearts" franchise, is any indication, it will likely yield a positive result.

In response, Time/Warner announced a plan to restructure DC Comics, with the intention of taking more active control over the freckled step-child of their multimedia empire. The new division, called DC Entertainment, was created "...to maximize the potential of the DC brand." The impact it will have on any future DC projects, be they comic books, TV shows or movies, remains to be seen.

Barack Obama = Increased comic book sales

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If there was one truism in the aftermath of Barack Obama winning the 2008 Presidential race it was this: If you want to sell lots of comic books, just release one that features Barack Obama and watch your sales spike. IDW Publishing was first on this bandwagon, creating comic book biographies of both Obama and his Republican rival John McCain. Other comic companies got in on the action as well. Obama appeared in Image books like Youngblood & Savage Dragon and Devil's Due Publishing created a book seemingly based on Obama's predilection towards reading Conan books growing up called Barack the Barbarian. But it was Marvel that most successfully cashed in on this trend by creating a comic book mini-story that brings together Obama and Spider-Man. The book went through five printings before demand started to taper off, and the issue was by far the best selling single comic book of 2009.

There's Something About Vampires

The Vampire genre has certainly enjoyed its periods of popularity, but 2009 saw it reach whole new heights, and it was largely thanks to the theatrical release of "The Twilight Saga: New Moon". Based on a series of novels by Stephanie Meyer, the Twilight saga centers on the romance between a brooding teenage girl and a gentlemanly vampire whose clan refuses to partake of the blood of humans. The novels got a lot of younger female readers hooked on the vampire genre, and the film adaptation of "Twilight" released in 2008 expanded the audience, creating a new subgroup of sci/fi fantasy fans dubbed "Twi-hards". They proved to be a formidably loyal group, pumping up the box office figures on "New Moon" and showing up in full force at sci-fi/fantasy conventions like the San Diego Comic Con.

The 1980's will be with you...always

In an earlier column I pointed out the trend of Hollywood revamping story concepts and franchises from the last century. Specifically, they seem to have an unearthly fascination with properties first launched in the 1980's. You don't believe me? Just look at some of the more prominent films and television shows that were released last year: "Friday the 13th", "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen", "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra", "Terminator: Salvation", "Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li", "Watchmen" and "V". All of these movies/shows had their genesis in the 1980's. And the trend looks like it's going to continue, with new versions of "The A-Team", "Clash of the Titans", "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps", "A Nighmare on Elm Street" and "The Karate Kid" slated for release in 2010.

DC brings about "The Blackest Night" and gives us Green Lantern movie(s)

Finally, Green Lantern is getting the love that I always maintained he deserves. Warner Brothers is finally diversifying its DC Comics franchises by throwing Green Lantern into the mix. It released "Green Lantern: First Flight" last summer on DVD, and gave the green light to begin filming on a live action movie with Ryan Reynolds ("X-Men Origins: Wolverine") cast as Hal Jordan. In the comics, the "Blackest Night" storyline that has been brewing since the end of "The Sinestro Corps War" was launched, and looks to continue delivering the goods into 2010.

By Ryan Riley, Contributor

Yes, it's that time of year again. The holiday season is well under way, and that means the time has come to shop for Christmas (or Kwanzaa, or Chanukah, or Festivus) present for friends, family and loved ones. If you have someone in your life that is a self-professed comic book/sci-fi/fantasy geek and are having trouble finding a suitable present for them, then this article is for you. If you are a self-professed comic book/sci-fi/fantasy geek and simply want to scope out some of the goodies to be had this holiday season for yourself, this article also applies to you.

We're taking a bit of a different approach with the holiday gift guide. This year we're bringing you some of the most unique geek gift ideas we could come across into a single article. As always, you are cordially invited to leave some feedback to let us know about any equally awesome merchandise we missed in this article.

Blackest Night Action Figures (DC Direct, prices vary)

DC Direct has consistently cranked out some really well-crafted action figures, and their figures based on the Green Lantern-centric comic event Blackest Night look to be some of the best they have ever produced. Two series of the figures have already been released, with more currently scheduled for release in 2010. The line boasts an impressive amount of characters, including Green Lantern mainstays (John Stewart, Kyle Rayner, Alpha Lantern Boodikka & Arisia), Black Lantern zombies (Black Hand, BL Earth 2 Superman, BL Martian Manhunter, BL Firestorm & BL Aquaman) and standouts from the other color corps (Blue Lantern Saint Walker, Red Lantern Atrocitus, Sinestro Corp Member Kryb, Orange Lantern Larfleeze, Indigo One & Star Sapphire). Snag these figures before they disappear.

Gift subscription for Marvel Digital Comics Unlimited (www.marvel.com, $59.88 annual subscription)

This is the perfect gift for the comic book geek that has so many comics in his/her place that they have scant little storage space left for them. It allows them to check out popular new release Marvel comics as well as the seminal Stan Lee issues of Uncanny X-Men & Amazing Spider-Man. The site also has online-exclusive comics that aren't currently available in print form. This is even useful for comic fans that still favor having a physical copy to read, as it will enable them to preview a comic before purchasing it at a comic book retailer.

Tru Blood 4-pack (www.trubeverage.com, $16.00)

Fans of "True Blood" on HBO (and the novels by Charlaine Harris they are based on) will love this gift. For those of you not in the know, "True Blood" takes place in a world where Vampires have existed hidden among us for centuries. Thanks to the invention of synthetic blood, some of the more community-craving Vampires have started to come out of the closet and openly live among humans. One forward thinking company decided to offer it as a drink called Tru Blood. HBO decided to create a real-life beverage based on Tru Blood, which they describe as a "uniquely carbonated, slightly tart, lightly sweet blood orange drink". Sure, if the gift recipient is inclined to drink it the cost per bottle breaks down to $4.00 per bottle, which is pretty steep for a non-alcoholic beverage, but fans of the show would probably prefer keeping it as a souvenir as opposed to imbibing it.

Halo Master Chief hoodie (www.halo.xbox.com, $59.99)

Here is a really sharp yet practical gift for the geek in your life that can't get enough of fragging people while playing "Halo 3" online. It was designed and produced by Ecko Unlimited. Here is the product description on the Halo merchandise website: "Color-blocked hoodie is zip-front with nylon welt pockets and nylon overlay over fleece. Velcro(R) close hood with self-welt pockets, rib knit sleeve cuffs and hem. 80% cotton / 20% polyester fleece with nylon overlay." It is the ultimate "under the radar" piece of geek apparel. You get geek cred for wearing it, and it possesses the perfect combination of stylishness & subtlety so you can actually wear it in public without people thinking you're weird. I don't know about you, but I get enough of that type of thing just being left to my own devices (heh, heh).

"Battlestar Galactica" propaganda poster set (www.nbcuniversalstore.com, $29.95)

This is a gift for the fanboys & fangirls that are still bummed about "Battlestar Galactica" coming to a close on the Sci-Fi Channel a while ago. These anti-Cylon propaganda posters are done in the style of the anti-Nazi posters made in World War II, but in keeping with the show's visual look the posters are missing the corners, the trademark type of paper used on the show. It's an ideal gift for the BSG devotee.

"Lost" Dharma Initiative lab coat (www.abc.go.com, $64.95)

To pay tribute to the ABC show "Lost" coming to a conclusion, you can give the "Lost" fan in your life a replica of the lab coat worn by the folks that work for the enigmatic Dharma Initiative. It's not something you can wear in public (unless you work in a laboratory), but it is a nice little piece of memorabilia to put on display.

DC Comics neon insignias (DC Direct, $89.95 each)

These light-up neon superhero insignias from DC Comics are the perfect thing to geek up the décor of your house. The neon insignias available as of now include Superman, Batman, Green Lantern & the Flash. It's an awesome night-light alternative to a neon beer sign.

By Ryan Riley, Contributor

About a year ago I was lurking around the graphic novel rental section of Pulp Fiction (back when they had one) and I happened upon a little-known Vertigo book called Proposition Player. I glanced at the cover and probably would have put the book right back down if I hadn't come across the words "from the creator of Fables" just below the title.

Anyone that has read my previous columns can tell that I am an unabashed fan of the Vertigo comic Fables written by Bill Willingham. It is one of the finest comics around and one of the few I would heartily recommend to folks that aren't necessarily fans of comics. Fables is that good of a book. So that was endorsement enough for me to give Proposition Player a read, at least through a rental.

I read it and was blown away by both its unique premise and its unapologetically flawed characters. I took the book back and resolved to pick it up for keeps when I got my next paycheck. Unfortunately, the book was no longer in stock when I got paid, and Mike told me that the book had been out of print for a while, so no new copies were due in anytime soon.

A little less than a month ago I was looking through the half-price shelves at Pulp Fiction and found a used copy of Proposition Player. Needless to say, I grabbed as if I were Homer Simpson grabbing the last donut in the break room at the power plant. That is to say, I grabbed it really fast.

Written by Bill Willingham with art by Willingham and Paul Guinan, Proposition Player tells the story of Joey Martin, a semi-professional poker player. Joey works in Las Vegas at the Thunder Road Casino as a proposition player, which is a freelance employee that plays at poker tables in the casino to fill up space in weaker games until more paying customers get dealt in. The hourly wage the casino pays Joey is a pittance, but he gets to keep any money he wins and it helps him hone his poker skills in anticipation of the day that he saves enough cash to enter into a big-stakes poker tournament.

One day Joey and his fellow casino employees are having drinks after work and they ruminate on how miserly and superstitious the casino patrons are. One of them, Earl, remarks that he isn't the slightest bit superstitious, and Joey decides to test that by employing a variation on the Milhouse gambit from "The Simpsons": He offers to buy Earl's soul in exchange for a free beer. Earl decides to take him up on it, as does everyone else in the bar that overhears the offer. Joey's winnings are significantly reduced after this stunt-gone-awry, but that turns out to be the very least of his problems. Shortly afterward he is approached by an agent of Heaven named Bill about the souls he has purchased, which turn out to be very real indeed.

From then on, both Heaven and Hell are putting the full court press on Joey to get their hands on the inadvertently-obtained souls. Bill takes Joey into a bar in the ethereal planes filled with former deity-types like Moloch and Anubis, who ask Joey about his approach for obtaining souls and hatch a scheme to partner with Joey to get back into the game. Hell, for its part, takes a somewhat more subtle approach, sending the seductress demon beauty known as Hell Mary to try and coax Joey into selling them the souls. Then Heaven gets impatient and instructs its agents to kill the people whose souls Joey has in their possession in order to put pressure on him. From there things get really interesting.

Existential story aspects aside, there's just something about this story that comes off as realistic. Willingham gives his protagonist and his human supporting cast all-too-human dialogue and characteristics, and the artwork doesn't shy away from the fact that these people are all pretty average schlubs. You could actually see yourself running into characters like this at a third-tier casino in Las Vegas. The agents of Heaven and Hell and the rest of the miscellaneous deity-types are drawn in larger-than-life fashion, as they are meant to be, and stand out in sharp contrast from the human characters.

Proposition Player is, at its core, a story of a gambler that decides to place the ultimate bet. But the beauty of any well-crafted story is that it has many layers to it, like onions (and ogres). It's a story about subjects that some of us mere mortals take way too seriously, religion and the human soul, but the story itself never does so. In my opinion that is the most beautiful thing about this comic. It also offers a somewhat humorous answer to the question that Joan Osborne (and Dr. Evil) asked in the 1990's: What if God was one of us?

By Ryan Riley, Contributor

Newcomer Jonathan Hickman has been making quite the splash over at Marvel Comics. He is scripting Secret Warriors, which follows the adventures of Nick Fury and his new group of soldiers following Secret Invasion, and took over the reins of the Fantastic Four comic from Mark Millar based on the strength of his run on the Dark Reign: Fantastic Four mini-series. The new FF arc features Reed Richards being recruited into a multi-dimensional think-tank/support group/task force comprised of alternate versions of himself from every conceivable reality, including a couple where he ended up in possession of the Infinity Gauntlet. The story arc takes the concept of Grant Morrison's Superman Squad (featured in JLA 1,000,000 & All-Star Superman) to the next level, and is turning out to be a fascinating read thus far. But in my opinion, it is the work he did before he got snatched up by Marvel that is truly innovative and brilliant.

Hickman has written four separate mini-series under the Image imprint, three of which have been collected in graphic-novel form. It is those three books that I want to call attention to, as they push the boundaries of how a comic book story can be told and are among the finest books I've had the pleasure to read in quite some time. They are all incisive looks at human society both ancient and modern. More to the point, they point out some major problems with human society from many different angles.

The Nightly News

Writer: Jonathan Hickman
Artist: Jonathan Hickman

This story was Hickman's breakout hit over at Image. The main character, John Guyton, is a recruiter for a cult whose members have had their lives wrecked by irresponsible and inaccurate journalism. Their main goal? Kill as many journalists as possible. The cult receives its marching orders from a person they know only as "The Voice", who sends them their directives through an audio tape sent via Fed-Ex. The cult's war against journalistic excess takes place on many fronts, both overt (sniper attacks & suicide bombings) and subtle (taking faces of female news reporters, splicing them onto the bodies of porn stars and placing them on the internet). The story takes quite a few twists & turns, but the revelation of the person behind "The Voice" at the end of it all is the real jaw-dropper. Let's just say that bedfellows make for strange politics.

Visually, this book is less of a pure comic book and more of a hybrid of a comic and an art magazine. The artwork is primarily sepia-tone, which is almost ironic since the story deals with many shades of grey. All of the little factoids and statistic graphs that Hickman intersperses throughout the story (some of which he admits are completely fabricated) drive home the notion that the relationship between the political & corporate masters of America and the general public has become extremely dysfunctional. These are rendered in extremely small print, so be sure to have a magnifying glass handy as they add some real depth to what is going on in the story.

Pax Romana

Writer: Jonathan Hickman
Artist: Jonathan Hickman

This is easily one of the most ambitious stories I have ever read, and I've read a lot of books. In the year 2054, the Catholic Church is on its last legs, having been rendered irrelevant by almost every other religion under the sun. Looking for ways to regain its former prominence, it has been covertly funding scientific research into time travel. When their science team actually finds a way to accomplish it, the Pope and his inner circle decide to recruit the finest military warriors and strategists of their time to travel back to 312 A.D. to aid the Catholic Church of its time in dealing with threats to their superiority, such as the advent of Islam and the barbarian hordes that destroyed the civilization of Rome.

That premise would have been interesting enough on its own, but the story really takes off once the commander of their army, Brigadier General Nicholas Chase, executes the Catholic Cardinal in charge of the mission and decides to do something a little more ambitious: change the very course of human history itself. Chase and his army form an alliance with Constantine and help him ascend the Roman throne a full 12 years earlier than he would have on his own. Chase then uses their knowledge of the future to quell the threats to Roman civilization, whether they be obvious (the aforementioned barbarian hordes) or hidden (like abuse of religious power). But as they successfully execute their plan they encounter unforeseen obstacles, including disagreement on how to deal with Constantine's headstrong son Crispus, and political infighting between Chase and his inner circle that leads to open conflict.

There is really only one thing that could be perceived as a weakness with this book: The sepia-toned artistic style of Pax Romana is strikingly similar to that of The Nightly News, with alternate historical timelines and chat transcripts taking the place of the factoids & statistic charts. To more nitpicky readers, this might almost seem like a creative crutch. Personally, I quite enjoy the way Hickman employs this unique style of storytelling, and I wouldn't mind seeing a lot more of it. If only the text weren't so small...

Transhuman

Writer: Jonathan Hickman
Artist: J.M. Ringuet

Welcome to the future, where the post-human body of your dreams is available...for a modest price. This story chronicles the rise of two rival companies, Humonics Inc. and Chimeracorp, who are competing to deliver the next wave of human evolution to the public, each with a different focus. The initial product that Humonics initially offers is based in technology (a prosthetic hand attachment with basic household attachments that has room for better upgrades), while Chimeracorp tinkers with a pharmaceutical concoction that gives its recipient a biological enhancement.

The whole story plays out like a combination of a Michael Moore documentary and a VH1 "Behind The Music" episode. While the main focus of the story is on who comes out on top of the branding battle, the real fun comes from seeing the results of Chimeracorp's experiments. Their first batch of test subjects, a group of chimpanzees, end up with superpowers like telepathy, retractable claws and optic blasts (the X-Chimps!), and end up escaping from their cages. When their human test subjects (the ones that ended up with useful enhancements, anyway) get into superhero costumes and get sent out to recapture the chimp test subjects, it turns out about as well as the canoe trip in the movie "Deliverance".

Of the three graphic novels by Hickman, Transhuman is the one that has the most traditional comic book-style art and layout. Ringuet's artwork is just as gritty as Hickman's in The Nightly News and Pax Romana, but with a little more of a cartoonish bent. The story is a little more tongue-in-cheek than Hickman's other works, but the ending is probably the most subversive and unsettling (yet hilarious) out of all of his books. Be sure to look for the single-panel shout-out to Grant Morrison's WE3 when they show the test subjects from Humonics.

By Ryan Riley, Contributor

The inaugural Long Beach Comic Con has come and gone, and overall it turned out to be a pretty solid show for a first outing. The Robot Chicken gang made an appearance, and Seth Green and the gang were hilarious as always. Marvel and DC had a presence, although the absence of Dan Didio on the DC side and nearly everyone except for Jeph Loeb on the Marvel side made their panels somewhat lackluster. Nintendo was there to show their wares, and they had a guy dressed as Mario playing the new Super Mario game. Sci-fi/Fantasy genre celebrities like Lou Ferrigno and Richard Hatch were propping up autograph alley. All in all, the LB Comic Con felt like a smaller, more intimate and a lot less crowded version of the San Diego Comic Con. That is a good thing, and I would love to see the show continue next year. I say this because SDCC being the only major comic convention in Southern California is not advantageous to us as comic book fans.

I don't know about you guys, but I've grown weary of the overcrowded, impersonal juggernaut that is the San Diego Comic Con. Whenever I think about SDCC nowadays I get to thinking about the movie "The Crow". The main villain, Top Dollar, gave a speech to his flunkies about 2/3 into the film. He bemoaned the fact that a great idea he once had evolved into something bearing little resemblance to the original concept. He was referring to setting arson blazes on the night before Halloween, but there were a couple of memorable lines from his rant that echo my feelings about SDCC.

"When I used to think about the idea itself it would bring a big old smile to my face!"

The first SDCC I attended was in 1998. I was utterly amazed at how large the show was, and marveled at how accessible all of the comic book creators were to their fans. It was a testament to how close-knit the comic book community was for creators and fans alike. The idea of making movies out of comic book properties as a business plan was in its infancy, so while the convention was well-attended it was by no means overcrowded. Kevin Smith's infamously packed Q & A sessions were also a new thing, so you could actually stand a good chance of getting in if you got in line as little as an hour in advance. It was a laid back atmosphere that enabled you to focus and have a good time. Sure, it got pretty crowded on Saturdays, but that was because the show planners typically saved the show's A-list programming for that day. It has been years since the show was like what I am describing, so it can officially be referred to as "The good old days".

"The idea has become the institution, boys..."

Now it seems like SDCC is to comics what MTV is to music. The change began when the show started to feature more in-depth discussion panels and sneak peeks for upcoming movies and TV shows. Production companies saw in comic conventions an enormous and untapped focus group audience, and used the feedback garnered from their panels to launch shows like "Battlestar Galactica", "Lost" and "Heroes". Big-time actors like Jessica Alba and Robert Downey Jr. that years ago would not have been caught dead at a comic convention were now going out of their way to promote their upcoming comic-inspired movies. This was undeniably good for the comic genre getting more mainstream exposure, but as word got out that people could get sneak peeks at existing and new shows & movies by going to SDCC, the attendance increased on a yearly basis.

The last time I attended the show was in 2007, and it was wall-to-wall people. Getting from one panel to the next was like walking through high surf, you couldn't attend an in-demand panel without staking out a line spot at least two hours in advance, and good luck finding a restaurant without at least an hour waiting time afterward. And from what I heard about the 2009 SDCC it was even more with people because of all the "Twilight" fangirls hoping to catch a glimpse of Robert Pattinson at that panel. For the record, I don't think there's anything wrong with being a fan of "Twilight". It's not really my thing, but my daughter digs on it, and it seems inoffensive enough. I just included that little tidbit to illustrate my point.

"...time to move along."

My point is, if I want to wait in line for hours and navigate through an ocean of people only to spend copious amounts of money on souvenirs and overpriced food, I'll just hit up Disneyland or Magic Mountain during the peak of summer. Granted, the souvenirs are substantially cooler at SDCC, but the overall experience is about the same. I'm sure many of you have asked yourselves the same question that I have: "Is the San Diego Comic Con really worth all the hassle?"

Personally, I would have to say "no". I've felt this way for years, and if I hadn't been tapped to cover SDCC in 2007 by Wizard I likely wouldn't have even gone then. When Wizard World L.A. opened their show at the Long Beach Convention Center back in 2005, I was overjoyed. It had the best aspects of SDCC without the cattle herd conditions and the three hour commute. I was somewhat disappointed when the show moved to the L.A. Convention Center a couple of years later, but I still liked the show enough to put up with having to go to downtown L.A. and enduring its overpriced parking and lack of restaurants and night spots. When the show was put on indefinite hiatus by Wizard Entertainment earlier this year I was disheartened, because the only major alternative to SDCC was gone.

"Are we having fun, or what?"

Then they announced the LB Comic Con a few months ago. I was somewhat skeptical, because this was a new crew putting together a show on short notice. Despite my best wishes, it didn't seem like it would amount to much. But as the show date grew closer they managed to put together a pretty high-quality guest list and some decent programming. They even set up a wrestling ring and got an indie wrestling federation, Mach One Professional Wrestling, to put together a schedule of exhibition matches on the convention floor for live entertainment.

Could the LB Comic Con have been more organized? Of course, but considering the time frame that they were working with they did a hell of a job in putting on this show. I would love to see what kind of show the LB Comic Con brain trust can assemble when they're given a full year to plan, and it will be even better once Marvel and DC decide to treat the show like an actual event and not an afterthought. It has the potential to be a great show for fans that are actually passionate about comics but not willing to make their way through crowds of people just attending to see their favorite actor.

By Ryan Riley, Contributor

If you attended the inaugural LB Comic Con last Saturday (and from the good turnout, you just might have), you may have seen a cowboy and Black Bolt wandering around the convention floor, playing guitar and singing a rather western-sounding song. If the song sounded familiar to you, then you must be a fan of Jonah Hex. The song is titled "The Ballad of Jonah Hex", written by Ian Frazier (Black Bolt), and it immortalizes a story arc from Jimmy Palmiotti's Jonah Hex comic. I haven't yet read any Jonah Hex comics (the closest I've come was seeing Jonah shoot Superman in Superman/Batman in the head with a Kryptonite bullet), but I was nonetheless intrigued by this passionate pair, so I just had to talk with them. As luck would have it, we had a friend in common: Mike Lerner of Pulp Fiction, who was also at the Con selling his wares. He introduced us, and after listening to them go through the entire song near the Pulp Fiction booth we got to talking.

Modern Mythology: For the record, gentlemen, what are your names?

Ian Frazier: Ian Blackwell Frazier

Rob Conrad: Rob Conrad

MM: How did the whole "Ballad of Jonah Hex" come about?

Ian: It came about from Jimmy Palmiotti & Justin Gray. I started collecting Jonah Hex because I'm a big Clint Eastwood/spaghetti western fan, all of the Sergio Leone stuff, so I started reading the series. I was reading every issue and I got started writing the song about two years ago. The series came out in January '06, and then I started writing it about twelve issues in, and then they did that origin in that series based on the 1970's character, and so the third verse of the song is about the origin, exact to the continuity in every line. You can follow the series from issues 13 to 15 and it fits perfectly.

MM: Rob, how did you get involved with this?

Rob: He actually needed me to record the song, so we recently recorded the song at my place. I also played bass for him for a couple of the performances, and I'm playing acoustic guitar for the performances at the Con.

Ian: The live performance on the CD has Rob on bass and my buddy Jason Pataki on organ. It's the only time we had organ and bass on the song, which really added some depth to it. It was my big finale when I performed the song at DiPiazza's.

MM: Jimmy Palmiotti is here at the Con. Did you perform the song for him already?

Ian: I actually hit him up on MySpace, and he had seen the song on YouTube so he e-mailed me back and said it was great. I just met him face to face today, so when we found him we just busted the ballad out right there. It was such a culmination to play for the guy who inspired the song and reinvented the character.

MM: What's your take on the Jonah Hex movie and the actors that were cast for it?

Ian: I'm a huge Malkovich fan, so I'm really looking forward to that. I don't know much about the movie. I know they showed the trailer at the San Diego Comic Con, I didn't see it.

MM: With any luck they'll use the same story arc that you used for your song.

Ian: Here's hoping!

MM: How many comic conventions have you performed the song at?

Ian: This is the very first one. I've been performing the song at various venues, bars, clubs, you name it. It's a great party song, people get pumped up!

Check out the "Ballad of Jonah Hex" on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M64jPqFjrBY