Ryan Riley: July 2009 Archives

By Ryan Riley, Contributor

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I remember the very first time I went to the San Diego Comic-Con back in 1997. I'm fairly certain it was 1997, as I recall the inflatable Spawn that was set up to hype the upcoming release of the (in retrospect disappointing) Spawn movie. I was taken aback by the gargantuan size of the convention center, and was stoked to see so many other fanboys and fangirls in one location. I met a lot of very interesting individuals over the four days I was there. Among the highlights of my Con experience was a chance encounter with Phil LaMarr at the Eisner Awards, who at that point was best known for playing the Jumpy UPS Guy on Mad TV and Marvin, the character that was accidentally shot in the face by John Travolta in "Pulp Fiction". He was an exceedingly nice gent who was actually spending time at the Con as a fanboy and not an actor pimping his latest project, and we chatted for about ten minutes before going our separate ways.

There are other equally pleasant memories that I could share with you guys about the San Diego Comic-Con, but that's not the purpose of this particular column. I've been going to Comic-Con more often than not for over a decade, and you'd have to be as blind as the Mole Man (or Hans Moleman, same diff) to not notice that Comic-Con is receiving more and more mainstream attention over the years. While this has done quite a lot for getting more overall acceptance of comics & graphic novels (and the folks that read them), it has transformed Comic-Con from a moderately attended niche event to a jam-packed celebration of all things that have a connection to sci-fi, fantasy & comics. If you take a look at all of the successful TV shows & movies in this genre that have cropped up in the last few years, that encompasses quite a lot. Shows like "Lost", "Heroes" and "Battlestar Galactica" got a lot of exposure prior to their airing at past Comic-Cons and now the panels dedicated to them are standing-room only. And fanboy-friendly creators like my idol Kevin Smith hold Q & A sessions that are must-attend events. As you can imagine, this makes for a much more crowded house as far as Comic-Con attendance goes.

I hate crowds with a passion, so as Comic-Con has become more crowded, going there has become much more of a chore. In fact, the only reason I've attended the last few times I've gone was that I had a press pass and was covering it, once for www.pulpfictiononline.com and once as a freelancer for Wizard Magazine. But the last time I went, which was two years ago, I shared a hotel room with a pair of siblings that I met through a mutual friend, Ross & Heather. These two had their Comic-Con itinerary planned to the nines, and I was impressed both by their forethought and the results of their preparation. It is mainly from my experience with them that I have compiled the following tips to help ensure that your Comic-Con experience isn't ruined by your disdain for crowds.

I can't stress enough the importance of planning your Comic-Con trip in as far advance as possible. Even getting tickets for the Comic-Con has become a dicey prospect for the procrastinators among us. This year's Comic-Con sold out relatively quickly for all four days shortly after the tickets became available. I know that some of the tips for planning ahead listed below won't really help you for this year, but take them into account for your next trip.

Room accommodations

If you are looking to book a hotel room for the duration of Comic-Con, book well in advance. The hotels closest to the San Diego Convention Center fill up quite quickly, and the ones in the surrounding area don't last much longer. Also, those hotels charge at alarmingly high rates because they know that Comic-Con is in town and adjust their pricing to capitalize. Luckily, the folks that run Comic-Con know that hotels are relatively scarce and they have a service on their official website, www.comiccon.org, that will find you an available hotel room if one is available. As of my writing this article, there were still some rooms available through that website. Take full advantage of this service early, and you won't be caught flat-footed when the next Comic-Con rolls around.

Alternatively, if you happen to know someone that lives in San Diego or the surrounding area, by all means use that to your best advantage. Don't be a mooch about it, though. Offer them some money to put you up (and put up with you) while you're attending the Comic-Con. If they're generous and turn you down, offer to take them out to dinner at a nice restaurant or get them a nice piece of memorabilia on the convention floor to reciprocate. Remember, they are saving you money and grief, which is an invaluable gift considering how expensive hotels are nowadays.


Plan for traffic

Unless you arrive on Wednesday night for the preview, you are very likely going to run into some traffic on the freeway and in the streets that lead to the convention center. Leave early, hit a drive-thru or convenience store for some food & drink and be patient. The earlier you leave, the less hassle you will have.


Parking accommodations

Parking at the convention center fills up really quickly, so plan on arriving early in the morning if you want to park there. Otherwise you will get gouged by parking lots surrounding the convention center for the privilege of not having to walk miles to where your car is parked.

There is a relatively pain-free alternative to parking at the convention center if you aren't an early riser. You can park in the parking lot adjacent to the cruise ship terminal for a nominal fee (comparatively speaking) and take advantage of the free shuttle that goes from there to the convention center. It's not as convenient getting back to your vehicle as parking at the convention center would be, but it sure beats having to wake up at the crack of dawn.


Convention center strategy

Once you arrive at the convention center and claim your pass, there are going to be a lot of people that are planning to do exactly the same thing as you. Don't panic! If you are savvy enough, you can get almost everything done that you set out to do.

The convention floor: This is a veritable cornucopia of one-of-a-kind merchandise, creator signings & giveaways. Get to the booths you are interested in early and chat up some of the folks running them. If it's creators you are wanting a signature from, they will have a schedule of who is signing when. If it's freebies that you're after, find out when they will become available and show up early, as there will definitely be a line. Oh, and if you want to keep even a shred of sanity, don't even bother going on the convention floor on Saturday if you can help it, as that is by far the most crowded day of the con. Get your business there done on Thursday or Friday.

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Panels: Be prepared to do a lot of waiting if you are planning to attend a highly-in-demand discussion panel, like Kevin Smith's Q & A session on Saturday. Whatever time-cushion you were going to allow for waiting in line, add at least 2-3 hours to it, because many of your Comic-Con attending bretheren will already be there ahead of you. Be sure you have some entertainment with you, like an I-Pod, PSP, DS or your laptop. If you don't have any of these in your possession, head on over to the convention floor and buy yourself some reading material. The buddy system is invaluable here, as it only takes one person to hold a spot in line. Be nice to the person in your group that bites the bullet and waits in line. Get them something to eat and/or drink for their perseverance.


Restaurant accommodations

The odds are good that once you leave the convention center to go grab some dinner you will run into a minimum wait of an hour to get into most restaurants in the surrounding Gaslamp district. You can get around this easily by doing a little research a few weeks in advance to find out which nearby restaurants you would be interested in eating at. Once you've got that figured out, call and place reservations at each restaurant that you want to eat at. This tactic doesn't allow for any spontaneity in your dining experience, but the ability to walk past the masses that did not have the foresight to plan ahead and eat shortly after you arrive more than makes up for that.


And I'm spent!

If you follow these simple guidelines, you shouldn't have too many problems at the San Diego Comic-Con this year. We want you guys to chime in if there are any other survival tips you might have for dealing with the hassles of Comic-Con.

By Ryan Riley, Contributor

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There was a TV show that aired in the 1970's called "The Six Million Dollar Man". Lee Majors played a character named Steve Austin (no, not the pro wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin from the 1990's WWF), a USAF test pilot that was severely injured in a plane crash, which cost him an ear, an eye, his right arm and both of his legs. The U.S. government used experimental bionic limbs to replace the body parts Austin lost in the crash. These implants made him much stronger and faster than a normal human, and his bionic ear and eye afforded him enhanced sight and hearing. The procedure and the parts cost a little over 6 million dollars (hence the title of the series) and Austin was pressed into service as a covert government agent to offset the cost of it.

What, you might ask, compelled me to bring this admittedly ancient TV series up? Well, I was watching a CSI rerun on Spike TV earlier this week and I saw a commercial for a rechargeable hearing aid called "The Bionic Hearing Aid" being hawked by none other than Lee Majors. It even had this juicy little quote: "It won't cost $6 Million, but you'll think it's worth it!" At first I was a little disheartened to see that a Sci-Fi icon from my early childhood was being used to shill for a product. Then I gave it some thought and came to the conclusion that this is actually a pretty bad-ass product tie-in. George Foreman made money lending his name to a product that had nothing to do with anything he did in his prior profession as a world-champion boxer. At least Majors was lending his name to a product that (at least somewhat) has the same effect as one of the enhancements that his character had in "The Six Million Dollar Man".

That got me to thinking: what other sci-fi & fantasy concepts have been (or could be) used to advertise products?


Burger King: The Kingons

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This clever little product tie-in came very recently with the release of the Star Trek remake a couple of months back. The product was a series of collectors glasses based on the movie, and the Burger King mascot, the King, was morphed into an amalgamation of himself and the classic Star Trek alien Klingons. The result was a silent trio with the King's creepy smile, the forehead ridges of the Klingons and transporter technology, all of which they used effectively to gank Star Trek collector glasses from unsuspecting schmucks. They even snagged one guy's girlfriend to add insult to injury, but to be fair he kind of dared them to do it.


Battlestar Galactica Toasters

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This is by far one of the most brilliant sci-fi product tie-ins ever conceived. Anyone that has watched the recently ended "Battlestar Galactica" series on the Sci-Fi Channel (I just can't get myself to call it SyFy just yet) knows that the most popular slur used to refer to Cylons is the word "Toaster". So NBC Universal got the inspired idea to make a stylized toaster with an image of a Cylon Centurion complete with a LED light for an eye. It's being displayed at the San Diego Comic-Con later this month (it's only available for purchase online). The only drawback is that it's being sold as a collectors item with only 2000 copies having been made. It's a damn shame, because I would love to see Tricia Helfer and/or Grace Park on TV vamping it up to hawk this product.


Dogma/Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back/Clerks II: Mooby the Golden Calf

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OK, this technically wasn't a product tie-in, as it was created specifically for the movies listed above, but it was so well conceived & executed that I just had to include it. Introduced in the movie "Dogma", the character of Mooby the Golden Calf served a dual purpose. At first glance, Mooby appears to be an analogue for popular cartoon characters like Mickey Mouse that became so popular that a lucrative business was generated around it as a result. But Mooby also served as a prime example of idolatry. For those of you not familiar with the term, it is the worship of things other than God. It was no accident that the character of Mooby is a golden calf, as it is a reference to a story in the Old Testament of the Bible in which people worshipped a golden statue of a calf. The board of directors for the corporation that owns Mooby got executed by Matt Damon's fallen angel Loki, but the concept survived as a chain of fictional fast food restaurants in "Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back" and "Clerks II".


The next "Trust me...I'm a doctor!" Dr. Pepper commercial: Dr. Who

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This one doesn't exist yet, but it's not beyond the realm of possibility. Imagine if you will, Dr. Who running for his life from a group of Daleks. When he makes his escape in the Tardis, he turns to the camera and complains about the hectic schedule a time lord like him keeps. He then opens up a Dr. Pepper and slowly sips it down, exhorting the advantages of slowing down to savor all 23 flavors contained within like Dr. J & Dr. Dre before him. Think it's too far-fetched of an idea? It's a good sight more appropriate than trying to tie in Gene Simmons of Kiss into the "Trust me...I'm a doctor" campaign, and it would definitely increase the fanbase for the cult BBC hit show.

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This page is a archive of recent entries written by Ryan Riley in July 2009.

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