Old Yeller strikes again
Do you yell at your kids?
I do. At least once a week, I think. Heaven knows I try not to. I don't remember my parents yelling at me at all (but then again, they both worked and they had help.) I do remember Dad spanking me with his slipper once. But that's it.
My friend M. told me once what her 12-year-old daughter suggested her mother give up for Lent: yelling at her kids. M said that was the only way she could get them to clean their rooms or do their homework.
I thought I'd be different. I would be the Zen mama, calm and loving, Cosby-esque in my wisdom, imparting only peace to my children. Right.
I do notice that I yell usually at the end of the day, when I am run ragged or worried about one thing or another. Does my yelling damage my boys? I hope not. Although when it's Hubby yelling I want to stop it right away.
At one of my favorite Web sites, ParentCenter (sibling to BabyCenter), 31,427 readers polled about yelling admitted to doing it several times a week (28 percent) and that yelling only sometimes made their children behave better (63 percent). Most of us had our parents yell at us when we were children, although only sometimes. And a whopping 53 percent said they regret yelling at their kids.
I know it scares Firstborn Son. Once I yell, he will do what it is I have been asking him to do ("Come here, ""Get dressed," or "Stop tackling your brother!") and once he told me, "Mama, I don't like it when you're angry because it makes me sad."
That stopped me. I know I'm modeling behavior to my boys and I don't want them to be yellers. Will yoga calm me down? Another piece of chocolate, maybe?
I don't know. I do know I want to keep the lines of communication open with my boys, so that they know if I'm tired or stressed, that Mama still loves them. I feel I can conquer this whole yelling thing soon.
Or at least until they turn into teen-agers.
I do. At least once a week, I think. Heaven knows I try not to. I don't remember my parents yelling at me at all (but then again, they both worked and they had help.) I do remember Dad spanking me with his slipper once. But that's it.
My friend M. told me once what her 12-year-old daughter suggested her mother give up for Lent: yelling at her kids. M said that was the only way she could get them to clean their rooms or do their homework.
I thought I'd be different. I would be the Zen mama, calm and loving, Cosby-esque in my wisdom, imparting only peace to my children. Right.
I do notice that I yell usually at the end of the day, when I am run ragged or worried about one thing or another. Does my yelling damage my boys? I hope not. Although when it's Hubby yelling I want to stop it right away.
At one of my favorite Web sites, ParentCenter (sibling to BabyCenter), 31,427 readers polled about yelling admitted to doing it several times a week (28 percent) and that yelling only sometimes made their children behave better (63 percent). Most of us had our parents yell at us when we were children, although only sometimes. And a whopping 53 percent said they regret yelling at their kids.
I know it scares Firstborn Son. Once I yell, he will do what it is I have been asking him to do ("Come here, ""Get dressed," or "Stop tackling your brother!") and once he told me, "Mama, I don't like it when you're angry because it makes me sad."
That stopped me. I know I'm modeling behavior to my boys and I don't want them to be yellers. Will yoga calm me down? Another piece of chocolate, maybe?
I don't know. I do know I want to keep the lines of communication open with my boys, so that they know if I'm tired or stressed, that Mama still loves them. I feel I can conquer this whole yelling thing soon.
Or at least until they turn into teen-agers.
Leave a comment