An allergic life

What gives? Some say our Western obsession with hygiene has skewed our kids' immune systems toward the development of allergic diseases, that exposing kids to bacteria helps trigger their natural immune system.

Whatever the reason, more and more parents are learning to deal with allergies, planning menus around a child's danger foods, and being ever-vigilant about what their child eats. They are everyday heroes to me.

Nelo and Rose have two sons, Niko, now 9, and Alex, 8.

Niko's first episode came shortly after he turned 1, when his parents tried to give him whole milk. (This is the age most pediatricians recommend introducing whole milk.)

"He started coughing and sneezing," Rose said. "We were getting him ready for bed and when we go to turn the lights on, we saw that he had broken out in hives."

That was Niko's first trip to the emergency room.

Turns out he's allergic to peanuts, shellfish and also has seasonal allergies. Thankfully, he's outgrown his milk and egg allergies.

When Nelo and Rose first heard about Niko's allergies, they said they felt surprised (neither have allergies), sad, scared and unsure about what to do next.

By the time Alex was born, they had begun adjusting to an allergen-free life. Alex is allergic to milk, eggs, peanuts, seafood and shellfish. He also suffers from eczema, seasonal and environmental allergies, like scented air fresheners.

Standard procedure for the Riveras includes packing their own meals when going to parties or eating out, and toting their own supplies of food and snacks on long trips.

"On vacations, we book hotels that have kitchens so we can cook their own food," Nelo said. "And we bring an emergency bag everywhere with an EpiPen, Benadryl, eye drops."

The whole family automatically wipes down tables and chairs at restaurants and movie theaters. (Even peanut residue can trigger attacks.) School officials know about their allergies and both parents take time off work to chaperone during field trips.

Rose has learned to bake the boys their own birthday cakes, using a book she got from the Food Allergy Network, and her chocolate goodies are so yummy even non-allergic kids ask for them.

When I commend both of them for being so adept at protecting their children, Nelo and Rose are quick to point out their adjustments are nothing compared to what their sons have to get used to.

"They always have to be aware of what food is being served," Rose said. "At school, they sit in a separate table for lunch, the peanut table. They have to let their friends and cousins know to wash their hands after they eat certain foods. They're not allowed to have certain candies and snacks from trick or treating and birthday parties."

It helps that family and friends, and the parents of their friends, help enforce the precautions.

"They're adjusting and understanding very well without feeling sorry for themselves," Rose said.

Alex, a second-grader, still has to visit a food allergy specialist every year, and that annual consultation, like everything else about dealing with allergies, has become a way of life.

"It's sometimes difficult to watch them watching other kids eat certain foods," Rose said. "Sometimes I catch Alex just watching Nikolas eat pizza. Whenever Niko takes a bite, Alex opens his mouth halfway, almost looking like he can just taste it. But we have two great kids and we are very thankful. Dealing with their allergies is just a part of raising them - just like having to help them with homework, driving them to soccer and baseball."