By Barbara Correa
(full story)

Men and shopping don't always mix. But for fearless fathers with a knack for browsing, the holidays present an opportunity to get the gift-buying done while spending some quality time with the kids.

Randy Tat is a highly committed flea-market shopper. He's been making the rounds for years, finding gifts at the Pasadena Rose Bowl, Long Beach Antique Market and Fairfax High School Trading Post.

When Tat had children, he strollered them along to the marts, and they've grown up hunting for unique bargains with Dad. "I'm obsessed with the deal," said Tat, an artist who runs a production company and does interior design on the side. "I'm obsessed with shopping. Every time we pass a market, my kids are like, `No Daddy, don't stop."'

Yet, years of tagging along with Dad have taught the kids how to spot a deal. (see the link to the full story)

Randy Tat’s Flea Market Circuit

First Sunday of the Month: Pasadena City College Flea Market
Second Sunday of the Month: Rose Bowl
Second Saturday of the Month: Venice High School Flea Market
Third Sunday of the Month: Long Beach Antique Market
Fourth Sunday of the Month: Santa Monica Outdoor Antique Market (at SM airport)
Every Sunday Fairfax High School (Melrose Trading Post)

Dad’s holiday shopping tips:

• Together Time: Whether you’re browsing online, at the flea market or at the mall, take the kids. It’s never too early to learn how to spot a bargain.

• Have something specific in mind before you go looking.

• When you find a Web site or gift that works, stick with it and buy for multiple kids or adults simultaneously.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 9:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My friend H. is a single working mother who has a daughter with a serious medical condition. The only way she can handle her child’s lengthy doctor visits is to use her federally-mandated 12 weeks of unpaid leave in spurts, instead of in a single stretch. But she's worried because her employer isn't thrilled with the arrangement. She says they'd rather have her schedule a leave in one solid block planned well in advance. As we all know, however, that's not how it goes when you've got an ill child or parent to take care of. What parents need from the Family & Medical Leave Act is flexibility, which is one thiing most companies hate.

Right after H. told me about her situation, I read an article in the Wall Street Journal (soon to be free online) about the tug of war being played out between HR departments and working parents all over the country. According to the article, the Labor Department asked for comments on the FMLA last year and was flooded with responses and is considering defining the law more specifically.

In the meantime, some companies are goiing to extreme lengths to check up on employees claiming the leave. One firm, Matrix, even advertises spying services on its Web site to catch workers using family medical leave fraudulently.

For more information and eligibility requirements for FMLA, see the Labor Department site.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 10:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This from the AP:

Too Little Milk, Exercise Hurting Kids

WASHINGTON (AP) — Too little milk, sunshine and exercise: It's an anti-bone trifecta. And for some kids, shockingly, it's leading to rickets, the soft-bone scourge of the 19th century.

But cases of full-blown rickets are just the red flag: Bone specialists say possibly millions of seemingly healthy children aren't building as much strong bone as they should — a gap that may leave them more vulnerable to bone-cracking osteoporosis later in life than their grandparents are.

"This potentially is a time-bomb," says Dr. Laura Tosi, bone health chief at Children's National Medical Center in Washington.

Now scientists are taking the first steps to track kids' bone quality and learn just how big a problem the anti-bone trio is causing, thanks to new research that finally shows just what "normal" bone density is for children of different ages.

Dr. Heidi Kalkwarf of the Cincinnati Children's Hospital led a national study that gave bone scans to 1,500 healthy children ages 6 to 17 to see how bone mass is accumulated. The result, published last summer: The first bone-growth guide, just like height-and-weight charts, for pediatricians treating children at high risk of bone problems.

Next, the government-funded study is tracking those 1,500 children for seven more years, to see how their bones turn out. Say a 7-year-old is in the 50th percentile for bone growth. Does she tend to stay at that level by age 14, or catch up to kids with denser bones? If not, if she more prone to fractures?

Ultimately, the question is what level is cause for concern.

"I don't know if we're raising a population that's going to be at risk" for osteoporosis, Kalkwarf cautions. "It's really hard to know what the cutoff is, how low is too low."

But almost half of peak bone mass develops during adolescence, and the concern is that missing out on the strongest possible bones in childhood could haunt people decades later. By the 30s, bone is broken down faster than it's rebuilt. Then it's a race to maintain bone and avoid the thin bones of osteoporosis in old age.

"There's some early data showing that even a 10 percent deficit in your bone mass when you finish your adolescent years can increase your potential risk of having osteoporosis and fractures as much as 50 percent," says Dr. James Beaty, president of the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons.

Already there's evidence that U.S. children break their arms more often today than four decades ago — girls 56 percent more, and boys 32 percent more, according to a Mayo Clinic study.

Kalkwarf's hospital recently found that kids who break an arm have lower bone density than their playmates who don't. That suggests the fracture rise isn't due solely to newer forms of risky play, like inline skates.

And last year, government researchers found overweight children were more likely to suffer a fracture, even though theoretically their bones should be hardier from carrying more weight. Maybe they have poorer balance; maybe they fall harder. Kalkwarf says there even are hints that fat itself may produce bone-harming substances.

Doctors have long known that less than a quarter of adolescents get enough calcium.

But strong bones require more than calcium alone. Exercise is at least as important. Consider: The dominant arm of a tennis player has 35 percent more bone than the non-dominant arm.

And Canadian researchers recently reported that postmenopausal women who had exercised more as teens had 8 percent stronger bone decades later than their more sedentary counterparts.

Yet childhood exercise is dropping as obesity rises.

Likewise, the body can't absorb calcium and harden bones without vitamin D. By some estimates, 30 percent of teens get too little.

It's not just that they don't drink fortified milk. Bodies make vitamin D with sunlight. With teen computer use, urban youngsters without safe places to play outdoors and less school P.E., it's no wonder D levels are low. Because skin pigment alters sun absorption, black children are particularly at risk.

Rickets marks the worst deficiency, where bones become so soft that legs literally bow. Rickets was once thought to have been eradicated with milk fortification, but "I am now treating rickets in a way that I never treated it 20 years ago," says Tosi, who diagnoses rickets or super-low D levels in children every month at a bone clinic she runs for mostly inner-city children.

Doctors who've never seen rickets can miss it. Charlene Bullock repeatedly asked her 5-year-old's doctor why his leg was bending inward and he could no longer run with his playmates. It took a trip to Tosi's special clinic to learn Na-shun had rickets — the once energetic child had quit running because his bones ached like an old man's.

Fortunately, rickets caught early is easily cured with high-dose infusions of vitamin D and calcium, and Bullock's son quickly rebounded. "He's doing everything with that little leg."

It's the kids whose low vitamin D hasn't gotten quite bad enough for symptoms that Tosi most worries about. They may never get treated.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 9:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

By Barbara Correa

Four times a night, guests of the Treasure Island Casino in Las Vegas gather to ogle scantily-clad ladies seduce a band of beefy renegade pirates aboard a giant pirate ship. But they’d rather not see bared flesh when it’s connected to a suckling infant.

Last week, a Van Nuys mother won a settlement against Treasure Island Corp., the casino’s parent company, for violating her right to breastfeed her baby. Michelle Nielson was staying at Treasure Island last February to attend a furniture trade show. When she arrived with her four-month-old son, she was told that a room she had booked for early check-in wasn’t ready and staff suggested she wait in one of the hotel restaurants.

Over breakfast in the Tradewinds Buffet, Nielson started to nurse her baby, when another diner complained. “A young girl who was 18 or 19 asked me to go feed him in the toilet and that it was in violation of the health code,’’ said Nielson. The manager then asked Nielson to cover herself, and then to leave the restaurant.

The settlement excludes any payment to Nielson but requests coverage of legal fees up to $1,500. “I just wanted them to know they’d done something wrong,’’ said Nielson, a mother of three who owns several furniture stores.

In 2001, Treasure Island settled a similar case after asking a breastfeeding mother to move out of public view. According to the current settlement agreement, Treasure Island agrees to improve employee education and training about public breastfeeding.

Yvette Monet, a spokeswoman for MGM Mirage, TI’s parent company, said the company regretted the incident and responded to it by implementing changes in training. “This was a very unfortunate incident and we regret it took place. We’ve since taken steps in training and related efforts to see to it doesn’t happen again.

Nevada, like California, stipulates that businesses cannot ask a nursing mother to leave the premises, go to a separate area or cover up. But awareness of the law is limited.

“People assume [breastfeeding in public] is against the law,’’ said Cacilia Kim, a staff attorney for California Women’s Law Center, based in Los Angeles. “The hypocrisy is so overwhelming in this case, because women’s breasts and butts are everywhere, so the idea that someone told her to cover up is just outrageous.’’

Posted by Barbara Correa at 10:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Breakfast
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole-wheat bread
1 cup skim milk

Lunch
1 small portion lean, steamed chicken breast with cup of spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey's kiss

Afternoon Tea
The rest of the Hershey's kisses in the bag
1 tub Haagen-Dazs ice cream with chocolate-chip topping

Dinner
4 bottles of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family-size supreme pizza
2 Snickers bars

Late-night snack
1 whole Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

Posted by Barbara Correa at 2:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

So, with that in mind, I decided to conduct my own test to see how much time I could save cutting corners on the big meal.

By the time I got to Pavilion's, it was after noon, and the only turkeys they had were frozen solid as a rock. The grocer told me that even the smallest ones would take hours to defrost, and that's not counting the several more hours it would take to roast the bird. Detour to the deli, where I bought two precooked turkey breasts, which yielded a shocking amount of meat.

I bought a package of instant gravy for 88 cents, frozen green beans (I wasn't going for gourmet of the year, believe me), a big, tacky store-bought chocolate turtle pie for dessert and stuffing from a box. The only thing I made from scratch was the yam dish, which came out very well, I might add. For appetizers, I put some mixed nuts in a bowl and mashed an avocado for guacamole.

But even doing it the way I did, it took me four solid hours to prepare everything. I guess every step -- however simple -- takes time. But I was moving fast, and one kid slept through most of it and the other was in front of the TV almost the whole time, so I wasn't interrupted. I'm surprised that such a quickie Thanksgiving feast took so long to make. I think the answer may lie in -- dare I say it -- going out to eat next year!

Share your Thanksgiving stories at barbara.correa@dailynews.com

Posted by Barbara Correa at 1:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Instead of a knee-jerk refusal that may spark a family crisis, parents can offer compromises.

Shaunti Feldman and Lisa A. Rice, authors of "For Parents Only: Getting Inside the Head of Your Kid," suggest allowing her to spend a few hours at a friend's house and then come home for Grandma's visit. Let him take the car to shop, but set a specific time to be back in the driveway.

Worst gift idea
The nonprofit group The World Against Toys Causing Harm issued its annual list of the 10 Worst Toys. It's topped by Aqua Dots, which contains beads that can be toxic if swallowed.

Good nanny/bad nanny
One San Fernando Valley mom has compiled a list of do's and don'ts for screening potential nannies. Her suggestions include printing out an application for each job seeker. Here are three Web sites with options:

http://www.nanniesplus.com/

http://www.familyextensions.com/familyextensions.com/

Good little consumers
A new study reports that 96percent of students ages 9 to 17 say they use social networking sites such as Facebook, MySpace and Webkinz (a site about taking care of a virtual pet). Half of the respondents said they log onto the sites to talk to other students about schoolwork.
The research was commissioned by the National School Boards Association and includes interviews with 250 school-district leaders. But it was funded by News Corp., which owns MySpace, Microsoft, which has a stake in Facebook, and Verizon. The Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, an advocacy group in Boston, criticizes the report and the NSBA because of all the advertising embedded in the Web sites.

Internet kids Part 2
The University of Southern California recently hosted a forum on the educational role of virtual worlds such as Teen Second Life and Whyville.net. The message from local professors: Online worlds and games provide learning opportunities, but they're also encouraging kids to become consumers.

"Our kids are being taught that to be a good citizen of this world, you got to buy the right stuff," said Doug Thomas, associate professor at USC's Annenberg School of Communication.

For more on work, family, parenting and the item's in this week's column, see www.insidesocal.com/momspace.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 8:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

DO: Fly JetBlue, where every seat has a little TV screen and Animal Channel. Alternatively, pack a portable DVD player and enough entertainment to get through the flight, or the drive. If you're against TV in the car like me, pack it someplace hidden, so nobody sees it, but you have it just in case.

DO: Buy cheap surprises like nutritious snacks or small toys, wrap them up and then make a big deal out of presenting them to the kids once every hour.

DO: Know the rules of flight. Bone up on what you can and can't pack in your carry-on luggage; have everyone wear easily removable shoes. TSA Web site

DON'T: Do nonstop flights. If you get stuck on one of those horror story tarmac delays, my prayers are with you.

DON'T: Wing it. The more planning you do, the more fun the trip will be. Before you go, research weather at the destination and get information on a few activities you can do with the kids. You may not need them, but it's good to have a plan B. If you're driving, try to find things along the way -- parks or outdoor gardens or picnic areas -- that might break up the trip.

Happy Trails!

Posted by Barbara Correa at 2:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Holiday strategies for parents of teens and tweens, from Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa Rice, authors of “For Parents Only”

1. OFFER CHOICES OR ALTERNATIVES
Our research shows that kids are addicted to freedom and fearful of losing it, so when you can, offer choices or alternatives to a blunt “no.” For example, if Sally wants to spend all Christmas afternoon with her BFF, instead of a knee-jerk “no,” a parent might consider allowing her to spend a few hours at her friend’s house when Grandma Judy wasn’t expecting to see her anyway.

2. MAKE EXPECTATIONS CLEAR
Make expectations clear so kids don’t fear losing their all-important freedom over the holidays. For example, a parent might tell Jimmy that he can use the car to go to the mall to Christmas shop as long as he is back in the drive-way by 9:15 p.m. And provided he always returns the car by the appointed time and follows the other reasonable car rules, he won’t have to worry about losing his extra car privileges throughout the holiday season.

3. UNDERSTAND THAT NAME BRAND GIFT REQUESTS AND GIFT REJECTION OFTEN POINTS TO DEEPER IDENTITY NEEDS
Ninety-three percent of the teens surveyed say they deeply want to develop and show their own identity, separate from their parents’ – a need parents might misunderstand. For example, Tommy’s begging for those particular sneakers isn’t about the price tag: he’s wanting that “look” to make a statement that “this is who I am!” Solution? Validate his need to make that statement, by shopping with him to find something else (a backpack, a shirt…) that allows him to express his developing identity on the family budget. Also, when choosing gifts for Tommy on your own, remain somewhat emotionally detached and keep the receipts.

4. LISTEN FIRST AND OFTEN
Learning to listen in the way a kid needs can head off a lot of the friction otherwise felt during the holidays. When Susie tells you her teacher criticized her in front of the class, she isn’t looking for you to demand the teacher’s phone number and fix the problem. In fact, 81% of kids surveyed said they want Mom or Dad to listen to how they are feeling about the problem, first, and only then ask if they can help. Commiserating about the embarrassment she felt will make her feel heard, make her less stressed and defuse the jangling emotions that might otherwise cloud dinner with your Aunt Gladys.

5. ATTITUDE CAN BE A SYMPTOM OF FEAR OR INSECURITY IN ANOTHER AREA
Our research showed that many exasperating teen ‘attitudes’ are actually signs that they are being swamped by an underlying fear or insecurity in another area of their life. D.J.’s sullenness over being asked twice to set the table may signal that he’s actually still feeling like a failure after dropping the game-winning pass last Friday night. Realizing the intense fear of being “left out” that underlies Julie’s less-than-polite requests to go to that Christmas party can allow a parent to address not only the outward attitude, but the fear beneath it.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 11:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

"If you're a parent, I would be much less concerned about things like online predators or violence, then I would be about the conflation between consumption and consumerism and citizenship (in virtual worlds). Because our kids are being taught that to be a good citizen of this world you got to buy the right stuff," said Doug Thomas, associate professor at USC's Annenberg School of Communication.

CNET News.com covered the event. Here's their full story.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 10:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Half of these online kids say they go to social networking sites specifically to talk to other students about schoolwork. (Posting messages is the number one activity for tweens and teens using Myspace or Facebook, but downloading music comes in a close second). And 96 percent of school districts say teachers assign homework that requires Internet use.

The research was commissioned by the National School Boards Association and includes interviews with 250 school district leaders, but it was funded by News Corp. (owner of MySpace), Microsoft (owns a stake in Facebook) and Verizon. Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, an advocacy group in Boston, criticizes the report and the NSBA for going along with it because of all the embedded advertising in the Web sites.

Click here for the full PDF report.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Need nanny help? This was compiled from a Mom on Jen Levinson's e-mail list. It has a great ten-item checklist for screening a nanny candidate and web sites where you can download applications.

PLEASE email MELISOPP@yahoo.com your tips and your stories to add to the tip sheet Here are downloadable application forms for those who don't have a prepared resume:
http://acaringnanny.com/NannyApplication/index.shtml
http://www.nanniesplus.com/apps/EasyNannyApp.shtml
http://familyextensions.com/application/submit.asp

Signs of a bad nanny: late for work, makes excuses for many things, does not get on your childs level i.e. sits on the couch while your child plays, often seems to be working in the area near where you walk into the house (because she was resting all day then jumps up when she hears you come home), never surprises you by doing anything extra, has poor judgement (gives your baby keys to play with, puts baby up high on counter to change them or feed them, leaves child alone in room where she cant see them, has them in swing all day, plops them in front of TV, is messy, keeps baby in diaper after nap, does not wipe babys face well after eating, swings kids by arm, says bad words in front of kids "crap" "shit", goes shopping when you think they are at the park, meets friends for lunch instead of working and neglects kid, laughs when your child is hurt, pinches your child, you ask her to clean and it still seems dirty, forgetful about many things, etc.)

CHECKLIST:
1. if they do not have current references DO NOT hire. excuses; "I was going to school" ASK to see their school records
"I was injured..." ask for hospital records or therapy records.
"My last employer was not nice to me and they wont give me a reference" do not hire!
"they moved and I dont have their new number" lie!
"they got divorced and I dont have their new number"
2. if the email reference you found in the internet comes from a relative or friend and makes them look like a great nanny, beware...the email should come from an employer to have even some validity
3. VERIFY their references. MEET with the reference even if you have to do some driving the reference can be a friend or relative who is lying to you EVEN agencies do that, they have references and are just paying them to lie to you SOME questions you can ask them over the phone; How old are your kids? At the end of the coversation ask WHAT are the birthdates of their kids and see if they match up with what they first told you. A liar likely cannot come up with the proper year of birth to match how old they told you their kids are.
4. Two parents said they leave their videocameras and cameras charging at home in the same spot and turn it on when they leave the house. One said he found a tape at FRYS that is 80 minutes long - they leave their house only for 80 minutes and review later to see if their kids are being neglected or treated properly.
5. ask for a RESUME
NOTICE if they keep changing jobs often
AND of course ALWAYS meet the last 2 job references to be SURE they are real if they are out of state ask the same question different ways and find inconsistencies to be sure you are not talking to a friend or relative
ASK "What are the worst things you can tell me about her?...What should I be aware of?"
WHen they only have GOOD things to say BEWARE, we all have flaws, how can anyone be perfect? You just may be talking to their friend, not a past employer.
6. Nannys at the park
send a friend or relative to watch nanny - if your kids are older and will recognize the friend or relative. send a new friend to the park to watch your kids and the nanny, is she on the phone the whole time? does she speak harshly? does she hit? does she make them sit in the stroller long periods? Does she feed them her junk food? etc.
7. Did anyone read this book? https://www.gavindebecker.com/books-ptg.cfm
PROTECTING THE GIFT, i.e. How do I know if my babysitter or nanny will turn out to be someone who will harm my child?
8. GET a copy of TWO forms of ID once you hire anyone
9.Nannies under watchful eyes of strangers
www.LAnannywatch.blogspot.com,
www.ISawYourNanny.blogspot.com
10. A business owner gave me this site that she uses to watch employees
http://www.imintouch.net/

Posted by Barbara Correa at 9:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Everybody's heard about all this research that says children are too overscheduled and that they need time to be able to sit back and watch the grass grow. But what about the middle school or high school student who doesn't want to do any activities?

One psychologist suggests that parents make a rule that kids need to try one activity per term. That sounds like a reasonable goal, and it would also expose the young loner to enough things they'd probably find something they like.

In addition, instead of issuing a shy label for the kid, try to dig a little deeper. Check out these suggestions from a great section on clubs at About.com. Also see related To Quit Or Not to Quit.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 4:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

From today's column:
I'd like two Happy Meals and a decaf white mocha with a shot, please. Yes, the dominant drive-through in the land plans to expand drink offerings in 2008 that may include all manner of coffee drinks and fruit smoothies.

By going head to head with Starbucks and Coffee Bean, the Golden Arches will be answering the prayers of moms everywhere who are craving more drive-through retail. Details are sketchy, but according to The Wall Street Journal, McDonald's says adding the drinks represents its biggest menu enhancement since introducing breakfast in the 1970s.

Look for the Momspace Moms Drive Through Guide, coming soon to www.insidesocal.com/momspace/

Posted by Barbara Correa at 9:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I don't normally like to bring my personal gripes onto this space, but in this case, I think sharing my experience might help others avoid the terrible service I received from a company called Lauder Photography.

Last February, my daughters' preschool sent out information about class photos. I thought the prices were a little steep, so I just ordered two class shots at $12 a pop ($24 total). August rolled around, and I finally got it together to ask about the photos that I had paid for (in Feb.) but never received. Our school directed me to call Lauder, which I did.

Now, nobody exactly expects good service anymore for anything. But the person I dealt with at the photography studio was truly rude. After I explained what had happened, she asked for my address and then she actually hung up on me.

The real disappointment came when I got the photos in the mail. Aside from being very low quality, one of my daughters wasn't even in the pictures. I made the mistake of telling my husband the whole story, and he insisted that I demand my money back. But at this point, it seems like I've already spent so much time on this, I'd rather chock it up to a bad break than work to get that $24 back.

So I guess the moral of the story is, be sure your school photographer knows what he/she is doing.

Do you have other bad service stories? I'd love to hear em! barbara.correa@dailynews.com

Posted by Barbara Correa at 10:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The World Against Toys Causing Harm, a nonprofit group, had a lot to choose from in compiling its annual list of top ten worst toys this year. Top honors for worst toy of 2007 goes to: Fisher Price's Go Diego Go Animal Rescue Boat, which is covered with lead paint. The toy was recalled in October.

Another cool-looking plaything is considered so dangerous that it has earned its own alert category and isn't even on the list. Made by Spin Master, it's a craft kit called Aqua Dots pet pals that contains toxic beads. At least two reports have been filed with safety authorities of children swallowing the beads and "slipping into a comotose state.''

Here's the list; for a full description of the worst toys, see the W.A.T.C.H. web site.

GO DIEGO GO ANIMAL RESCUE BOAT
STICKY STONES
JACK SPARROW’S SPINNING DAGGER
DORA THE EXPLORER LAMP
LIL “GIDDY UP” HORSE - SASSY PET SAKS
SPIDER MAN 3 NEW GOBLIN SWORD
HIP HOPPA
B’LOONIES PARTY PACK
MY LITTLE BABY BORN
RUBBER BAND SHOOTER

Posted by Barbara Correa at 10:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I remember my parents' evening ritual. It would start around 6 pm, when my Dad got home. They would take a good half hour to enjoy a drink and share some undivided attention together before the chaos of dinner, bath, homework and whatever else broke the mood. The kids were not to be in the living room during that period, and they didn't have videos to put us in front of. We just did it, because if we didn't, there were consequences. Why have things changed?

I went looking for answers at the Web site of Christie Mellor, an L.A. mother of two and author of "The Three-Martini Playdate.'' In her book, she asks: ''How did children become the center of the universe? You were here first. Parents, it's time to right the balance. Time to take charge. TIme to enjoy your life.''

I could not agree more. What's your view?

Posted by Barbara Correa at 7:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I just read something that rings so true: "the current culture of parenting may prevent children from experiencing just enough hard knocks to train them in weathering the stormy transition from living at home to living independently. Contemporary perspectives of children as fragile may cause parents to be unable to do the type of "tough love" limit setting sometimes required to force a child out of the warm, though stifling comfort of the nest into the cold, but fresh air of an independent life. Teens who can't leave home, or adult children who return can create shaming dynamics for both themselves and for their parents.''

That's from Dr. Joshua Coleman, an expert in parenting and families and author of a new book: "WHEN PARENTS HURT: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don’t Get Along.'' Writing on The Huffington Post, Coleman lays out how today's parenting style treats kids as too fragile and is overprotective, so children extend adolescence and don't learn how to be mature.

Another book I just received and skimmed through brings up a related point. "For Parents Only: Getting Inside the Head of Your Kid'' surveyed teenagers in focus groups and on the street, and found that 77 percent of them want their parents to enforce rules and be a parent as opposed to a friend.

Agree, or disagree?

Posted by Barbara Correa at 2:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Since the recall madness broke out this spring, tens of millions of toys have been deemed unsafe, and lots of parents -- me included -- have been buying Christmas presents on Web sites selling handmade and US-made toys. But here's an alternative I hadn't considered: the Amish.

Groups of Mennonites and Pennsylvania Dutch are highly skilled at making things by hand, since they generally shun electricity. These toys don't come cheap, but they are exquisite. Check out handmade doll cradles, wooden puzzles, pull toys and hobby horses at these Web sites:

http://www.futureheirlooms.net/
http://www.artsinheaven.com/items/amish-toys-amish-wooden-toys/list.htm
http://www.squidoo.com/amishtoys/
http://www.crafttoys.com/

Posted by Barbara Correa at 9:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Since the recall madness broke out this spring, tens of millions of toys have been deemed unsafe, and lots of parents -- me included -- have been buying Christmas presents on Web sites selling handmade and US-made toys. But here's an alternative I hadn't considered: the Amish.

Groups of Mennonites and Pennsylvania Dutch are highly skilled at making things by hand, since they generally shun electricity. These toys don't come cheap, but they are exquisite. Check out handmade doll cradles, wooden puzzles, pull toys and hobby horses at these Web sites:

http://www.futureheirlooms.net/
http://www.artsinheaven.com/items/amish-toys-amish-wooden-toys/list.htm
http://www.squidoo.com/amishtoys/
http://www.crafttoys.com/

Posted by Barbara Correa at 9:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

For every 100 ninth-graders in non-San Fernando Valley schools, 44 had graduated four years later and 24 had passed courses required for admission to CSU and UC schools. In Valley schools, 48 had graduated and 25 had passed those courses. The statewide averages are 66 and 25.

The study also incorporated results of the 2007 National Assessment of Educational Progress, which showed that California's fourth-graders rank 48th in the nation in reading and 46th in math. Meanwhile, eighth-graders ranked 47th in reading and 45th in math.

Hmm, better brush up on those magnet and charter options.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 9:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

NAVIGATING THE SCHOOL SYSTEM: CHOOSING THE RIGHT KINDERGARTEN FOR YOUR CHILD

Presented by Christy Bergin, Education Advisor and Founder of Best Fit School Service
with Tanya Anton, author of “Westside Guide to Public Elementary Schools”

When: Monday, November 19th 7:00pm

Where: Birth and Beyond
1750 Ocean Park Boulevard, Suite #206
Santa Monica, CA 90405

cost: $25

Learn all about your public and private Kindergarten options.

- how to investigate various schools and what to look for
- tips on private school applications, preparing for evaluations
- how (and when) to begin the application process
- Magnets and the point system demystified
- how Charters work and who is eligible
- Bonus: Complete listing of all public and private Westside Elementary Schools

register online at http://gomamaguide.blogspot.com/

Posted by Barbara Correa at 5:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

One reader wrote in responding to my column today about where all the toy recalls are leaving parents this holiday season. Here's what she is doing:

I am trying not to buy toys from China for Christmas which as we know is almost impossible. I did find a great toy maker who has wooden toys and he is located in California. My son loves his trucks: http://www.thewoodsmantoys.com

It's harder for my daughter but I do think that I will get her one nice American Girl doll rather than many little things. She is also getting clothes and books. She is 6 ½ and I know that it will be hard shopping for her. Many of the items she would have wanted have been recalled.

It will not be an easy shopping season however it will be simpler and scaled down which sounds good to me. She adds that she may also buy from Step2, another USA-made toy company.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 4:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Nasty nannies beware. Parents everywhere are watching you.

Whether on message boards, Web sites or blogs, the Internet is abuzz with reported sightings of rogue nannies slapping kids, leaving them unattended or worse.

READ THE FULL STORY

Now, nervous moms and dads are finding total strangers out there willing to watch their backs and report any nanny abuse. And what some are reporting is fueling new concerns about the largely unregulated industry.

On LAnannywatch.blogspot.com, launched a year ago, a mother describes how she discovered that her nanny was dropping her infant twins off at a private house every day, paying another woman to watch them, and then pocketing the difference.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 10:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Nasty nannies beware. Parents everywhere are watching you.

Whether on message boards, Web sites or blogs, the Internet is abuzz with reported sightings of rogue nannies slapping kids, leaving them unattended or worse.

READ THE FULL STORY

Now, nervous moms and dads are finding total strangers out there willing to watch their backs and report any nanny abuse. And what some are reporting is fueling new concerns about the largely unregulated industry.

On LAnannywatch.blogspot.com, launched a year ago, a mother describes how she discovered that her nanny was dropping her infant twins off at a private house every day, paying another woman to watch them, and then pocketing the difference.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 10:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Hillary Clinton would make the least trustworthy babysitter among Presidential candidates, according to poll results released today by Parents Magazine. Rudy Giuliani came in second as worst potential babysitter, followed by John McCain and Barack Obama. The candidate parents trust the most to babysit? Mitt Romney.

More results from a telephone poll of more than 1,000 parents of children aged 12 and under:

TIME STARVED: When asked what they need more of, 45% of parents said time and 27% said money. They also craved family outings (62%) more than time alone (22%).

STRESSED: One in two parents (51%) feel more stressed than their parents were. 61% of single parents say that.

SCARED: Top worries for parents are: sexual predators in the community (80%) and the media’s influence on children (80%). Environmental hazards are the top health concern among parents (18%). Childhood obesity (16%) and ADHD and other learning challenges (13%) were also top concerns.

STRAPPED: More parents (57%) are more concerned with saving for college than saving for retirement (22%).

ON SCHOOL: 54% said that the No Child Left Behind Act has had no impact on their children’s education. One in six actually think it has had a negative effect.

FAILING GRADE FOR GOV: Respondents give governmental officials an “F” across a range of issues from access to affordable health care (31%), to the war in Iraq (37%), to serving as good role models for their children (30%). Seventy-one (71%) percent of parents who identified themselves as Republicans said they felt the government could be doing more to help families.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 10:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Mattel issued a new recall today, but this time it can't be blamed on Chinese subcontractors. 155,000 Fisher-Price Laugh and Learn Learning Kitchen toys made in Mexico were called back because parts of the faucet and clock hands can come off and choke little children.

Hmmm. Well what toys don't pose a choking hazard when ingested by younger toddlers and infants? Anyway, the interesting thing about this one is that it isn't about China or lead. In fact, a BBC article says that while Mattel recalled more than 21 million Chinese-made toys, it later said that 85 percent of the recall was due to its own design faults.

What I want to know is, what are parents going to about playing Santa this holiday season? I know my shopping habits have changed dramatically since last year. Instead of going cheap at Ross, I've been buying my Christmas presents online, spending more on nicer stuff but buying less.

What about you? I'd love to hear what other folks are planning to do.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 9:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

You would think that motherhood would be a piece of cake compared to working as a spy for the CIA. But, as outed operative Valerie Plame reveals in her new book, giving birth to twins was what brought on the real panic attacks.

Plame was a covert CIA operative until her identity was revealed in a Washington Post op-ed in 2003 and became the Plame Affair . She had boy-girl twins in 2000. She talks about her experience with post-partum depression in Fair Game; My Life as a Spy, My Betrayal by the White House in a blog she wrote for The Huffington Post during a five-day book tour last month.

In one entry, Plame addresses questions she says nobody asked about the book. Her favorite seems to be the chapter on her depression. "With the birth of my twins in 2000, I experienced serious postpartum depression and initially had absolutely no idea what was happening. I think it's fair to say that up to that point in my life, I had demonstrated a high degree of coping abilities under significant stress and had always come through just fine,'' she writes.

I just loved reading this, because that is exactly how I felt. I have moved to foreign countries without speaking a word of the language and walked dark alleys in scary places to cover stories. But I never had the feeling that I was truly in over my head -- until my twins were born.

As one Mom commenting on her own bout with PPD writes: "Before I had kids, I thought childbirth and nursing could be compared to basic training — you know, like ‘war lite’. After I went through childbirth and the first three months, I came to the conclusion that child birth *is* the female equivalent of real war.''

Posted by Barbara Correa at 11:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Not that you needed another reason to get the kids to bed early, but here you go: a new study from the University of Michigan finds that every additional hour per night a third-grader spends sleeping reduces the child's chances of being obese in sixth grade by 40 percent. Wow. 40's a big number.(see story)

The less sleep they got, the more likely the children were to be obese in sixth grade, no matter what the child's weight was in third grade, said lead researcher Dr. Julie Lumeng. The research was published in the November issue of Pediatrics.

Among children who slept 10 to 12 hours a day, about 12 percent were obese by sixth grade. Of those who slept less than nine hours a day, 22 percent were obese by sixth grade!

Posted by Barbara Correa at 10:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Some nursing mothers are as attached to the breast milk they produce as they are to their own babies. Yesterday, the news out of Cedar Rapids, Iowa was about a nursing mom offering 100 ounces of her breast milk for $200 -- or best offer. She claims she's making too much for her four-month-old to eat, and hubby is threatening to throw out the frozen supplies in the freezer.

I jumped on Craigslist to see if this overabundance of breastmilk is an issue here in L.A. Sure enough, Amber in the San Fernando Valley is advertising her milk too. She is offering to donate it, for the exact same reason as the Iowa woman: hubby wants to dump the frozen liquid gold because it's taken over the freezer.

Well, guess what? Turns out there are breast milk banks that will take the milk of mothers' hands and usually sell it to hospitals for sick babies. Some will pick up the milk, but they don't pay for it. There don't seem to be that many banks around, so you may have to ship it. Here are a few that I did find:

Milkin' Mamas Breast Milk Bank in Seal Beach
Mother's Milk Bank in San Jose

Posted by Barbara Correa at 10:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Authorities said today they had not decided whether to charge a 12-year-old boy who was playing with matches that started a blaze in Agua Dulce that destroyed 21 homes. (See the full story)

What's your view? Should the kid be punished, and if so, how? Should his parents be punished? Respond to barbara.correa@dailynews.com and I'll publish the results.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 4:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A free play date for Children of All Abilities at Gates Canyon Park/Brandon's Village in Calabasas

November 3rd from 11:00a.m. to 1:00 p.m.

The Kiwanis of Calabasas-Agoura is sponsoring the play date at the new Universally Accessible Playground at . Come and celebrate Thanksgiving with lots of fun activities! Brandon’s Buddies is a FREE KIDS CLUB that meets every month. This playground, which is the first fully-accessible playground in the region, was made possible thanks to the Friedman Family Charitable Foundation, the City of Calabasas, the Las Virgenes Special Education P.T.A. and Shane’s Inspiration. The day will include Integrated Play, Face Painting, Arts & Crafts, Entertainment, and Treats (but please feel free to bring a sack lunch). Children with and without disabilities and their families who want to spend a great day playing in the sunshine and making friends. Brandon’s Buddies gives children with disabilities the opportunity to play with their typically-able peers, while giving their parents a chance to share experiences and advice with other parents/caregivers. It gives children with typical abilities the chance to get to know their peers and gain greater awareness and compassion.

Brandon’s Village
25801 Thousand Oaks Blvd. in Calabasas

Posted by Barbara Correa at 11:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Halloween may be over, but it’s still a scary time to be a parent, what with wildfires and the pollution they spew, antibiotic-resistant staph outbreaks, the launch of lice season and, of course, those weekly recall announcements.

There wasn’t a whole lot parents could do about these dangers this week, aside from trying to “keep the kids indoors’’ to protect against all the residual smoke and ash from the fires. Clearly, officials who advised that tactic don’t have two life-size Energizer bunnies running around their house.

I’ve never been much of a stay at home Mom. For me, it’s always been more fun and less stressful to get the kids out into the world. With that in mind, I went looking for indoor fun this week and put together a list of my favorite mall playgrounds for Momspace, our new blog about work, family and parenting in L.A. Readers sent in some great suggestions too.

In a place where the weather is sunny and bright about 300 days of the year, it is truly shocking that we have so many fantastic creative indoor spaces to take our kids.

Here are five:

Westfield Topanga Mall (Canoga Park) As every Mom knows, all the Westfield shopping centers have these awesome mini parks somewhere in the mall, usually strategically located near the food court. The newly remodeled Topanga mall boasts what I consider the Cadillac of mall playgrounds. Not only is it near the food, it’s right next to the brand new Carousel, offering the ultimate in one-stop toddler entertainment. Carousel: $2; playground is FREE

Westside Pavilion (West Los Angeles) This mall is not owned by Westfield, but it has one of the best playgrounds around. The play area, filled with giant, climbable fruits and cookies, has a reputation among Westside Moms for being a Petri dish of germs. But it’ll keep the kids occupied for hours. It’s also right next to the food. FREE

Westfield Fox Hills Mall (Culver City) This playground is fairly standard, but it’s new and what I like best about it is it’s a lot less crowded than the other ones. It’s also just down the escalator from Old Navy. One downside – it’s nowhere near the food court. FREE

Playsource (Woodland Hills and Camarillo) 4,000 square feet of climate controlled fun; bouncy houses, plus all the usual play equipment. Great artistic wall murals. Picnic tables for bring-your-own snacks. Child admission: $8; sibling discounts. playsourceinfo.com

The Treehouse Social Club (Beverly Hills) Yep, it’s an indoor treehouse – and much more. Connie Stevens’ daughters, Joely and Trisha Fisher, are the brains behind this playspace/spa for kids and Mom that opened last spring. I haven’t actually been here yet, but it looks enticing. Besides the play area and arts & crafts, it’s got a café, boutique and, yes, a full-service spa. And don’t let the Beverly Hills location fool you. It’s $9 kid admission; siblings are $5. thetreehousesocialclub.com

Add your favorite indoor activity. Send me an e-mail at barbara.correa@dailynews.com

Posted by Barbara Correa at 8:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)