DROP-IN DAYCARE: It's a working parents' greatest dilemma: the preschool is closed; your babysitter is sick; your neighbor is at work, where you are due in less than an hour. What to do? A company called Bright Horizons (www.brighthorizons.com) runs child care centers that will take drop-in kids if they have space. There are just three locations in greater L.A., and the hours, availability and price vary. See details at www.insidesocal.com/momspace/

ONLY IN L.A.: Being bilingual is all the rage in multicultural Los Angeles. You see it in elementary school immersion programs and parks & recreation classes, and now bilingualism is becoming part of everyday life, from Kindermusik classes to playgroups. My local Moms club just sent around an Evite for a bilingual playgroup for toddlers speaking English and Spanish, and the California Association for Bilingual Education has started parent workshops. Habla Espanol? It’s time to learn! www.bilingualeducation.org.

BABYSITTER RATE POLL: I don’t know about you, but I ended up paying a jacked up $22 an hour for a New Year’s Eve babysitter because my husband announced at 4 pm that evening that a colleague was throwing a party that we just had to attend. The rate was through an agency I use only when I’m desperate. The sitters are always professional and wonderful, but it burns me to pay such crazy prices to someone to sit in my living room watching television. What’s the most/least you’ve ever paid for a babysitter? What do you consider a reasonable rate? Participate in our poll at www.insidesocal.com/momspace/

FED UP: Two Angry Moms is a documentary by two Connecticut mothers “fed up’’ with the low quality of school cafeteria food. They take a video camera to school to record students consuming neon green slushies, greasy fries and supersize cookies, and calling it lunch. The film has been making the rounds at community theaters since last spring in an effort to start a movement toward healthier school food. See clips of the film and more info at: www.angrymoms.org

SURVIVING TWEENS: Oh pre-teen and teenaged girls. The tortured soul, the raw emotion, the unbelievable sensitivity of young girls. I figure we have a good ten years until we'll be confronted with all this as parents, and I joke that my husband will be so old by then that a lot of the drama won't register. Still, it's never too early to prepare.
The current January/February issue of Daughters magazine focuses on nurturing the parent-daughter relationship during the angst-ridden tween years. Highlights include “girl-led’’ conflict resolution, getting an inactive girl moving, and eating disorder 911. (www.daughters.com)

For more on work, family and parenting in L.A., go to www.insidesocal.com/momspace/

Posted by Barbara Correa at 8:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My friend H. is a single working mother who has a daughter with a serious medical condition. The only way she can handle her child’s lengthy doctor visits is to use her federally-mandated 12 weeks of unpaid leave in spurts, instead of in a single stretch. But she's worried because her employer isn't thrilled with the arrangement. She says they'd rather have her schedule a leave in one solid block planned well in advance. As we all know, however, that's not how it goes when you've got an ill child or parent to take care of. What parents need from the Family & Medical Leave Act is flexibility, which is one thiing most companies hate.

Right after H. told me about her situation, I read an article in the Wall Street Journal (soon to be free online) about the tug of war being played out between HR departments and working parents all over the country. According to the article, the Labor Department asked for comments on the FMLA last year and was flooded with responses and is considering defining the law more specifically.

In the meantime, some companies are goiing to extreme lengths to check up on employees claiming the leave. One firm, Matrix, even advertises spying services on its Web site to catch workers using family medical leave fraudulently.

For more information and eligibility requirements for FMLA, see the Labor Department site.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 10:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Holiday strategies for parents of teens and tweens, from Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa Rice, authors of “For Parents Only”

1. OFFER CHOICES OR ALTERNATIVES
Our research shows that kids are addicted to freedom and fearful of losing it, so when you can, offer choices or alternatives to a blunt “no.” For example, if Sally wants to spend all Christmas afternoon with her BFF, instead of a knee-jerk “no,” a parent might consider allowing her to spend a few hours at her friend’s house when Grandma Judy wasn’t expecting to see her anyway.

2. MAKE EXPECTATIONS CLEAR
Make expectations clear so kids don’t fear losing their all-important freedom over the holidays. For example, a parent might tell Jimmy that he can use the car to go to the mall to Christmas shop as long as he is back in the drive-way by 9:15 p.m. And provided he always returns the car by the appointed time and follows the other reasonable car rules, he won’t have to worry about losing his extra car privileges throughout the holiday season.

3. UNDERSTAND THAT NAME BRAND GIFT REQUESTS AND GIFT REJECTION OFTEN POINTS TO DEEPER IDENTITY NEEDS
Ninety-three percent of the teens surveyed say they deeply want to develop and show their own identity, separate from their parents’ – a need parents might misunderstand. For example, Tommy’s begging for those particular sneakers isn’t about the price tag: he’s wanting that “look” to make a statement that “this is who I am!” Solution? Validate his need to make that statement, by shopping with him to find something else (a backpack, a shirt…) that allows him to express his developing identity on the family budget. Also, when choosing gifts for Tommy on your own, remain somewhat emotionally detached and keep the receipts.

4. LISTEN FIRST AND OFTEN
Learning to listen in the way a kid needs can head off a lot of the friction otherwise felt during the holidays. When Susie tells you her teacher criticized her in front of the class, she isn’t looking for you to demand the teacher’s phone number and fix the problem. In fact, 81% of kids surveyed said they want Mom or Dad to listen to how they are feeling about the problem, first, and only then ask if they can help. Commiserating about the embarrassment she felt will make her feel heard, make her less stressed and defuse the jangling emotions that might otherwise cloud dinner with your Aunt Gladys.

5. ATTITUDE CAN BE A SYMPTOM OF FEAR OR INSECURITY IN ANOTHER AREA
Our research showed that many exasperating teen ‘attitudes’ are actually signs that they are being swamped by an underlying fear or insecurity in another area of their life. D.J.’s sullenness over being asked twice to set the table may signal that he’s actually still feeling like a failure after dropping the game-winning pass last Friday night. Realizing the intense fear of being “left out” that underlies Julie’s less-than-polite requests to go to that Christmas party can allow a parent to address not only the outward attitude, but the fear beneath it.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 11:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Hillary Clinton would make the least trustworthy babysitter among Presidential candidates, according to poll results released today by Parents Magazine. Rudy Giuliani came in second as worst potential babysitter, followed by John McCain and Barack Obama. The candidate parents trust the most to babysit? Mitt Romney.

More results from a telephone poll of more than 1,000 parents of children aged 12 and under:

TIME STARVED: When asked what they need more of, 45% of parents said time and 27% said money. They also craved family outings (62%) more than time alone (22%).

STRESSED: One in two parents (51%) feel more stressed than their parents were. 61% of single parents say that.

SCARED: Top worries for parents are: sexual predators in the community (80%) and the media’s influence on children (80%). Environmental hazards are the top health concern among parents (18%). Childhood obesity (16%) and ADHD and other learning challenges (13%) were also top concerns.

STRAPPED: More parents (57%) are more concerned with saving for college than saving for retirement (22%).

ON SCHOOL: 54% said that the No Child Left Behind Act has had no impact on their children’s education. One in six actually think it has had a negative effect.

FAILING GRADE FOR GOV: Respondents give governmental officials an “F” across a range of issues from access to affordable health care (31%), to the war in Iraq (37%), to serving as good role models for their children (30%). Seventy-one (71%) percent of parents who identified themselves as Republicans said they felt the government could be doing more to help families.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 10:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Halloween may be over, but it’s still a scary time to be a parent, what with wildfires and the pollution they spew, antibiotic-resistant staph outbreaks, the launch of lice season and, of course, those weekly recall announcements.

There wasn’t a whole lot parents could do about these dangers this week, aside from trying to “keep the kids indoors’’ to protect against all the residual smoke and ash from the fires. Clearly, officials who advised that tactic don’t have two life-size Energizer bunnies running around their house.

I’ve never been much of a stay at home Mom. For me, it’s always been more fun and less stressful to get the kids out into the world. With that in mind, I went looking for indoor fun this week and put together a list of my favorite mall playgrounds for Momspace, our new blog about work, family and parenting in L.A. Readers sent in some great suggestions too.

In a place where the weather is sunny and bright about 300 days of the year, it is truly shocking that we have so many fantastic creative indoor spaces to take our kids.

Here are five:

Westfield Topanga Mall (Canoga Park) As every Mom knows, all the Westfield shopping centers have these awesome mini parks somewhere in the mall, usually strategically located near the food court. The newly remodeled Topanga mall boasts what I consider the Cadillac of mall playgrounds. Not only is it near the food, it’s right next to the brand new Carousel, offering the ultimate in one-stop toddler entertainment. Carousel: $2; playground is FREE

Westside Pavilion (West Los Angeles) This mall is not owned by Westfield, but it has one of the best playgrounds around. The play area, filled with giant, climbable fruits and cookies, has a reputation among Westside Moms for being a Petri dish of germs. But it’ll keep the kids occupied for hours. It’s also right next to the food. FREE

Westfield Fox Hills Mall (Culver City) This playground is fairly standard, but it’s new and what I like best about it is it’s a lot less crowded than the other ones. It’s also just down the escalator from Old Navy. One downside – it’s nowhere near the food court. FREE

Playsource (Woodland Hills and Camarillo) 4,000 square feet of climate controlled fun; bouncy houses, plus all the usual play equipment. Great artistic wall murals. Picnic tables for bring-your-own snacks. Child admission: $8; sibling discounts. playsourceinfo.com

The Treehouse Social Club (Beverly Hills) Yep, it’s an indoor treehouse – and much more. Connie Stevens’ daughters, Joely and Trisha Fisher, are the brains behind this playspace/spa for kids and Mom that opened last spring. I haven’t actually been here yet, but it looks enticing. Besides the play area and arts & crafts, it’s got a café, boutique and, yes, a full-service spa. And don’t let the Beverly Hills location fool you. It’s $9 kid admission; siblings are $5. thetreehousesocialclub.com

Add your favorite indoor activity. Send me an e-mail at barbara.correa@dailynews.com

Posted by Barbara Correa at 8:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A friend just told me about her brilliant idea for limiting sugar intake on this most auspicious day of kiddie indulgence. At the end of Halloween, she announces that the Switch Witch will come overnight and change candy left on the doorstep into a new toy.

Apparently, works like a charm. Watch, mine will be the one who wails, 'but I don't want a toy. I want my candy.' Maybe try telling her that if she eats all that stuff, she might awake the next morning to find she's morphed into a giant lollipop. Brings new meaning to the phrase trick or treat.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 9:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Thankfully, my little ghouls (sorry) are young enough that H'ween dress up means something pretty, fluffy and shiny. But I'm sure the day will come when they will want to set aside the fairy princess costumes and outfit themselves as the wicked witch or a sexy devil instead.

We are members of a Russian Orthodox Church; my kids attend preschool at a Jewish temple. Neither of these groups is thrilled with Halloween and its apparent celebration of gore and the netherworld. And while I do find it a little odd that parents well into their thirties and forties spend hours and hundreds transforming their yards into mini graveyards, I also appreciate the masquerade ball aspects of the tradition.

As I told my husband, for little children, it's about creative play and pretending, not to mention the promise of mountains of candy. Yes, people really do celebrate this stuff seriously (I lived in Brazil. Can you say Santeria?). But we have to be able to differentiate between the two.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 2:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

A former member of the West L.A. Moms Club (who moved to Texas) writes about picking up this book at the library and LOVING IT: "I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids'' By Trisha Ashworth and Amy NobileIn.

The spirit of the authors' love of "If you've ever" lists, here's one of my own. If you've ever:
* Served frozen waffles for dinner (doesn't that smidgen of whole grain count for something?)
* Stayed in your pajamas for the entire day (or two)
* Let your kids watch one more show because, after all, Noggin is "Like Preschool on TV"
* Ignored your nap-deprived child as he played with your cell phone because, frankly, a $50 phone call to China would be less painful than taking it away...

This may be the book for you. Peachheaders were recently asking for readign material -- looks like this one is a winner.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 8:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Taking care of yourself comes third, after taking care of your family and your house, in that order, according to a nationwide survey this month sponsored by cosmetics company Suave. Not exactly shocking news. But guess what came in 4th place? Taking care of your job!

That surprised me a little. Personally, my priorities are closer to 1. Family, 2. Work 3. Self.

Anyway, in the taking care of self department, the study found that 46% of moms have forgotten to brush their teeth in the morning and 58% have days when they didn’t have enough time to shower or bathe. Almost 70% say they have gone for weeks or months without a haircut, even though they needed one.

To celebrate/promote mothers spending time (and $) on themselves, Suave has organized a Moms spa day field trip at LuKaRo Salon in Beverly Hills this Monday, October 1. I think it's full, but you might try crashing it. Jenny McCarthy will be there -- and I probably will too!

Posted by Barbara Correa at 11:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Why didn't I think of this? No, I'm not advocating shopping in red lingerie. But I just love the idea behind this image: a shopping bag can be reusable AND biodegradable. This bag apparently doubles as a bra, and is a whole lot more fun than the crunchy fabric satchels most grocery stores sell. I wonder if Ikea could make its signature yellow and blue bag into an undergarment as attractive as this?

But seriously, this is important. By this time, everyone living anywhere near a Trader Joe's has received the message that it just isn't cool to walk out with groceries in plastic bags. Now, if I could just remember to bring the big stylish bag my husband keeps in the back of the car for just this purpose. Everytime I find myself in T.J.s though, I have once again forgotten to carry my eco friendly sack, and I get stared at walking out with bags and bags of pollution-spewing plastic.

Of course, the place I go the most, Target, seems to have slipped under the radar on this one. They have those bland red bags now, but they don't seem to push them too hard. The checkers always opt for plastic without being prompted.

What's your favorite shopping bag these days? Are you still doing paper or plastic? Seen any unusual reusables out there?

Posted by Barbara Correa at 10:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Living in L.A., land of the $700 Peg Perego stroller and the $80 Ralph Lauren toddler separates, it's hard to imagine how little so many of the world's mothers have. Even if you live near the poverty line here, you can still probably afford an umbrella stroller from Target, you have running water and a way to cook food.

Not so in places like Darfur. A web site called Mothers Fighting for Others brings to life the gaping need of basic equipment to keep a family going. Today they are asking for $30 donations to buy solar cookers for women so they don't have to leave the safety of the refugee camps to go and look for firewood. Yesterday they were collecting underwear, which is apparently too expensive in Kenya for women to buy.

The site also has links to other important child-related sites, like Stop Child Slavery. These things are hard to contemplate, especially from where we sit. Believe me, I'm the first to say that worrying about third-world hunger isn't much fun compared to helping your kids decide on whether to be Ariel or Sleeping Beauty for Halloween.

But as mothers we are part of a global effort to protect our children, and the only way to improve things is to use the power that's in our numbers.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 10:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Everybody - whether they have breasts and babies or not - seems to have an opinion about whether it's OK to breastfeed in public (for the record, Disneyland is definitely pro-breast baring. But it seems some of its employees never got that memo). My story last week about a nurse-in at Applebee's generated some heat between public display advocates and those who find it tasteless.

I consider myself neutral on this topic by the way - I absolutely assumed I would breastfeed my twins, but in the end failed to do it, and was OK with that too.

What came as a shock was the voicemail messages I got reacting to the story. I received several calls from, ahem, "older'' women who had breastfed decades ago. Not only were they not supportive of the nurse-in concept, they all said nursing women should just stay at home. That way, they can nurse freely without anyone copping a look. One friend who nursed her son said she agrees - it's pretty simple to "cover up'' and do it subtly, and really no need to become an exhibitionist (yes, some think of it that way).

But I see the other side too. That poor Mom at Applebee's in what must have been a sweltering Kentucky day didn't have a sweatshirt or blanket to cover with, so she got hassled. The woman has like five kids -- she deserves a break for that alone.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 8:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Yes, it's fun. Sure, it's fulfilling. But it's also bloody challenging, and we all need to laugh and commiserate about it now and again. I want to devote this space to the amazing Mother Jugglers, who are endlessly fascinating for their ability to do so many different things at once, without losing their minds. (At least not losing their minds on a permanent basis). It seems like every mother I meet, even if she's not going off to an office every morning, is doing something on the side. I think of these Moms as the most creative microentrepreneurs, each one the CEO of their own little family operation. I'm one of these Moms, trying my darndest to hold down a job and mind the kiddies too -- all while being reasonably nice to my husband. I know how I do it, but I love hearing how all the other jugglers do it too. I really want to hear from all of you about whatever is going on in your life. Just be advised that it may turn into a story for the real paper! I encourage you to bookmark this page, email friends and contacts about it and help us build a community of online idea sharers. After all, we're all in this together.

Posted by Barbara Correa at 10:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)