Results tagged “Family Guy” from The Mayor of Television

What you'll see if you tune into Fox on Sunday:

"The Simpsons:" Springfield's booze-free St. Patrick's Day results in a brawl in which Homer is arrested and somehow parlays that into a job - with Flanders - as a bounty hunter; Flanders prays, "Dear lord, thank you for making so many criminals for us to catch."

"King of the Hill:" Waste-of-human-flesh Bill's junk-food diet gives him diabetes; rather than change his diet, he accepts the impending loss of his legs by getting a wheelchair, then befriends some wheelchair warriors who turn his life around. Dale marvels, "I've never felt more alive than watching bill feel more alive." Awfully wise for a Fox cartoon.

"Family Guy:" Brian falls for a fellow atheist but takes disastrous courtship advice from Stewie. Genital warts and repeated use of the phrase "Laura Bush killed a guy" figure in there somewhere.

"American Dad:" Stan and Francine have a panicked reaction to Steve entering puberty, resulting in wreaking havoc on his first date and a visit to a retirement home that "smells worse than the dumpster at the crab restaurant."

- "The Simpsons:" 8 p.m. Sunday, Fox (Channel 11).
- "King of the Hill:" 8:30 p.m. Sunday, Fox (Channel 11).
- "Family Guy:" 9 p.m. Sunday, Fox (Channel 11).
- "American Dad:" 9:30 p.m., F - oh, you know.

Last night, the creator of "Family Guy" unveiled his latest project, "Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy," which we first discussed a couple of months back, which will hit the Internets today in force, at a party in West Hollywood projectile-vomiting distance from Barney's Beanery. Besides MacFarlane, who added this lucrative paycheck in addition to the $100 million Fox burdened him with back in May, there were a host of other celebrities, such as "Borat" co-star Ken Davitian and ... OK, that's all I saw, though Seth Green, Jonah Hill, Joel McHale and James Kyson Lee of "Heroes" were supposedly there, too.

Oh, and a guy dressed in that Burger King costume that MacFarlane said was Kevin Nealon. (He was joking. I think.) (The fast-food franchise is the sponsor of the initial series of these films.) If you think that Burger King in that petroleum-based-product mask is creepy in commercials, you should see him in person (shudder).

MacFarlane has produced a series of 50 short films, two of which debut today (more will roll out over the coming weeks at SethComedy.com and YouTube.com/bk). Or, you can just watch them here:

"A Dog on 'The $25,000 Pyramid:'"

"Super Mario Rescues the Princess:"

MacFarlane is the perfect person to launch this sort of project, as the short films are essentially those non-sequitur cutaways you see on "Family Guy," without the bother of having to try to retrofit a plot around them. Future funny shorts involve ducks watching "Meet the Parents," then deciding watching a blank screen offers better entertainment value, a Scotsman shouting at the screen while watching a series of famous movies ("You're not using your brains!" is a recurring cry) and Matthew McConaughey in a life raft, driving a fellow survivor to (justifiable) violence. (During the screening, some guy behind me wondered aloud, "What is he smoking?")

(A friend of Your Mayor is getting that Scotsman understandably wound up.)

This is a big deal because it proves that someone has figured out how to make serious cash off the Internets. Google, a partner in this venture, will place ads across the online universe offering MacFarlane's offerings on sites frequently visited by MacFarlane fans and/or fast-food fans.

Of course, the lesson here seems to be, if you want to make money off online content, it helps if you're already a millionaire a hundred times over or more. The rest of us plebes will still have to work it out.

Just a few minutes after watching, and mostly enjoying, the shorts that were screened, my friend and I had trouble recalling all of them, so here's my blurb for this project: "Fun and forgettable!"

Back during the writers strike, Fox was finishing up a few episodes of "Family Guy" without input from creator Seth MacFarlane, and MacFarlane decried the maneuver as "a colossal d!ck move." A couple of weeks ago, MacFarlane and some "Family Guy" writers sued Fox for breach of contract for unpaid work on the "Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story" DVD.

Now, it's hugs and kisses all around. $100 million will do that for you.

That's how much TV Week says MacFarlane is getting for a four-year deal with Fox Television that will include his work on "Family Guy," "American Dad," an upcoming spinoff show featuring "FG's" Cleveland character, potential live-action comedies (MacFarlane executive-produced the short-lived sitcom "The Winner") and, if all goes according to plan, a "Family Guy" movie. Not bad for a show that got cancelled by the network - twice.

Let's go to Fox TV Chairman Dana Walden for the requisite press-release quote, which is gushier and less corporate-ese than usual: "Seth is an incredibly talented guy whose kindness and generosity are legendary in this business, and there's no one more deserving of the kind of success that he's had and will continue to have in the years to come. He's also about the most entertaining meeting you'll take as a creative executive, and everyone here lines up just to be in a room with him."

To celebrate, MacFarlane will allow you to be in a room with him: He and his "FG" co-star Alex Borstein will headline a live show, "Freakin' Sweet!", this Saturday evening at the Ahmanson Theatre, benefiting Center Theatre Group's New Play Production Program. After the show, MacFarlane will use his $100 million to buy all in attendance a steak and a highball. Well, maybe.

Did the people stranded in New Orleans bother to write letters to FEMA asking them for some help? No, because they knew the government doesn't actually do anything for its constituency. Nonetheless, there exists still a small handful of people who believe their government is there to help them - and help them with the more lascivious gremlins who cavort about in their TeeVees.

A website has amassed some government documents under the Freedom of Information Act, including this batch of complaints about Fox's "Family Guy." (Warning: This site is really slow and balky to navigate.) What's remarkable about some of the letters is the amount of obsessive detail to all that naughtiness the complainant, such as this one, which the guy watched while dining with his family (his family's backs were turned from the TV, as he notes, so here's guessing he's one heck of a conversationalist and truly engaged with his loved ones):

(Note: I tried to clean up the sundry misspellings and punctuation mistakes until I got bored and gave up.)

"On, Sunday, March 12, 2006, my family went to a new family restaurant, Quaker Steak & Lube. We were seated in an area that had at least 8 televisions on, plus a blaring stereo system. The television that was facing me was turned on to Fox and had the close-captioning turned on. While I was eating, I was "treated" to the show "Family Guy", an animated cartoon show. For a 30 minute show, it was chock full of raunch and offensive tv. The story line revolved around a mother's attempt to wean the infant from breastfeeding. It went into great detail, including the infant crawling into her bedroom at night to attach a double breast pump to her, the older sons attempting to breastfeed from the father, the mother's issues with engorgement, the father's attempt, while at a wedding reception to "cool her down" by throwing champagne over her breasts and then trying to dry her off by "jiggling" her. During this wedding reception scene, the newly married groom is seen having a hard time controlling himself because of this woman's engorgement problem. Throughout the 30-minute show, the mother is seen removing her shirt, the baby finally latching on and the mother seeking solace and advise from the family dog who insists that he needs to see the mother topless and also asks to check out her underpants. Needless to say, I was outraged that this filth is allowed to be shown on our airwaves and I was thankful that with the configuration of our table, that I was the only one who had to look at it and not my elementary aged sons. The show that followed, "Free Ride", was not much better, with graphic references to the parents' sex life, including questions to the college aged son if he could have sex with a celebrity who would he choose, with the followup from the mother about which celebrity she thinks of when she has sex with the father. The college aged son leaves the room in disgust at the thought of his parents having sex, all the while the parents are yelling at him, "Yes, we have sex!" I do not normally watch Fox television and now I can see that I have made a wise decision, since they apparently not showing decent programming, at least on Sunday evenings."

Again, a dedicated viewer with a watch pays attention to every indiscretion down to the minute in which it transpires:

"The father tells the story of Star Wars. The character of Ben is shown to be a toothless, bald old man who makes sexual advances to the adolescent boy (Chris) who is a regular character. ... Especially disturbing are the following 4 references (including approx. time into the episode); 1.(16 minutes into the episode) Princess Leia refers to Bens past "trouble" and says "we paid to keep the families of those children quiet, so you owe us"; 2.(22minutes into the episode) the adult Ben calls the child Chris "my sexy friend"; 3.(40 minutes into the episode) Ben's light saber is flaccid and when the child shows up it immediately becomes erect (like a penis) and Ben says "boy, you got here just in time"; 4.(52 minutes into the episode) Ben makes another sexual innuendo to the boy by saying "force that thing in there. Just like I showed you with those puppets, but don't tell nobody 'cause you'll get into trouble". I don't need to interpret these since they are obscene and imply that sexual advances made by an adult man on a child is humorous. Please tell FOX they went too far this time."

Others aren't quite as dogged about keeping a stopwatch on the action, or they just can't tell time:

"I am complaining about the show aired on Fox 42 KPTM Omaha, NE aired on; February 6, 2005. The show was aired after the Super bowl. I am not sure; exactly what time, but I would say it was 9:00 or 9:30. It was a half hour; show and it was terrible. After the super bowl reaches a lot of people, Fox is going to air Family Guy again (and that show is full of sexual; innuendos and displays of indecency) back to back with American Dad, I would; like to see both shows not happen; I do not believe that I saw a message before the show stating that the; content is explicit or a TV rating, I have a three year old daughter that; was watching. She was by me for the super bowl.; There are a few examples I can call to mind that made this show really hard; for me to watch, First of all, the show is about an American Dad that works; for a government agency. He makes it his job to try to get his son laid all; through out the show. There is a cheer leader that the boy thinks he should; get some action from. When this boy and his sister are sitting in the; kitchen together they are arguing and the sister says, why don't you go; through puberty. The boy replies, "Why-if I do, are you going to DO IT with; me?" The way he said it implied to me (and the other people watching); incest or sex, The really bad part of the show is the fish KLAUS is a German; fish. He is vile and has an unhealthy crush on Francine (the mom), Klaus; tells Francine that she should put her finger into his bowl so he can feel; her warmth, The way the fish said it was creepy and gross, It seemed to me; kind of dirty, The next complaint about the fish is that Francine was; wearing a skirt and the fish was on the floor under her skirt, The fish; looks up and say "Francine! I can see your clittenshousen" (or some German; word that sounded a lot like Clitoris or some other female body part,; Other than the obscene stuff, this show just really shouldn't be aired, You; have a hippie daughter, Hayley Smith, an untrusting father that likes to; have sex and get his son some, You have a party girl mother that lets the; family fish sexually harass her all the time. ... You also have an alien; that spews out some slime when he gets slightly excited. ... I was appalled by this show. It was disgusting and hard to; watch. ... This show is portraying Americans as; being shallow, scatterbrained, stupid and horny. No wonder so many countries; hate Americans and America. No wonder our children are promiscuous and in; trouble. See this show. I am sure that you will find it isn't suitable for the crowd; that saw it."

There are other shows that draw just as vociferous complaints, which I'll share soon. Provided, of course, the blog server isn't sucked into another cyber-black-hole.

This one was inevitable: Our good friends at the Parents Television Council are going all Ed Anger at CBS because, in order to fill its schedule while the writers strike is ongoing, it will air the first season of Showtime's "Dexter," starring Michael C. Hall as a serial killer who works as a forensics specialist for the Miami Police Department.

"(T)he series compels viewers to empathize with a serial killer, to root for him to prevail, to hope he doesn't get discovered. 'Dexter' introduces audiences to the depths of depravity and indifference as it chronicles the main character's troubled quest for vigilante justice by celebrating graphic, premeditated murder," the PTC sputtered with indignation. "(N)ow CBS intend(s) to air material that effectively celebrates murder?

"We are putting CBS, its affiliates, and every potential sponsor of Dexter on notice: Parents will not tolerate this type of disturbing content on the public airwaves," they further blah blah blahed. Well, no: Responsible parents will simply not let their children, who should be in bed at that hour anyway, watch the show. It's the PTC that can't tolerate anything but "Jeffy McFeeble's American Gospel Hour" on their TeeVees and is hellbent to prevent anything that might contain nuanced, mature and difficult themes from reaching the minds of American adults.

And while the show indeed "compels viewers to empathize with a serial killer," the PTC is being condescending to an astonishing degree (even for them) with their implicit suggestion that viewers somehow don't realize that they're watching a TV drama and not a how-to show or Satan's version of "The Purpose-Driven Life." "Dexter" has been on for two seasons now and is a bona fide hit by cable standards, and I haven't seen any uptick in the number of vigilante serial killers running amok in our country. (Well, maybe in Florida, but hey: It's Florida.)

And "Dexter" "celebrates murder?" Well, it depicts murder, as does every other TV cop show on the planet, but Dex isn't exactly popping open the Champagne after each kill. He's kind of struggling with his damage - not winning, naturally, otherwise there's no show - but his mind is fairly preoccupied with the horror he has wrought.

(Oh, and the PTC folks might want to look in their Bibles: God did a good deal of smiting Himself - Sodom and Gomorrah, the Egyptians' first-born, the Pharaoh's soldiers - etc. Here's a thought, PTC guys: Maybe Dex is just emulating the Old Testament God of wrath? Does that make you like him any more?)

"Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane, a favorite whipping boy for the PTC, had this to say about them: "I've read their newsletter, I've visited their website, and they're just rotten to the core. For an organization that prides itself on Christian values - I mean, I'm an atheist, so what do I know? - they spend their entire day hating people. They can all [not a dirty word unless used in this context] my [not a dirty word when used as a gentleman's name, which it isn't here, so it's pretty dirty] as far as I'm concerned."

In other news, the PTC also assailed the children's song "Pop Goes the Weasel" today. "The very notion that children should delight in exploding weasels is troubling, to say the least," it declared in a statement. "Evidence has shown that children take cues on how to lead their lives from monkeys, and if monkeys will sadistically pop weasels, we are rapidly and uneasily approaching the day where children will en masse be placing weasels in microwave ovens to replicate their simian friends' behavior."

* As we surmised yesterday, a truncated season of "24" appealed to no one: Fox yanked it from its January schedule late Wednesday.

* But some shows will be disappearing sooner than the networks expected. Like "Family Guy," whose creator Seth MacFarlane sternly warned Fox against making minor tweaks to make essentially completed episodes ready for air, or "The Office," whose producers offered this online video to explain why other online videos they made actually led to them embracing the strike - it'll go into repeats after Nov. 15, far sooner than expected.

* Meanwhile, while Variety reports that Fox's "House" will still occupy the highly sought-after post-Super Bowl position on Feb. 3, though it - and the network - won't likely be able to capitalize on it much, as the show will have precious few, if any, remaining episodes to be unveiled to viewers.

Instead, reality shows will come thereafter. And, on Fridays, per Variety, chaos reigns:

"(T)he sked will rotate every few weeks: As already announced, "Bones" repeats head to 8 p.m. starting Jan. 4; on Feb. 22, new [series] "New Amsterdam" replaces "House" repeats at 9. Then on March 7, half-hours "'Til Death" and "The Return of Jezebel James" take on the 8 and 8:30 slots. And on April 11, "Canterbury's Law" will replace "Amsterdam" at 9.

"One more change: New [sitcom] "Unhitched" will take over "American Dad's" Sunday night 9:30 slot for six weeks starting March 2."

Got all that? I'm sure Fox's viewers will figure it all out.

* The strike will likely affect next TV season, as well: We're entering the period in which new shows are pitched to the networks and either receive development or pilot deals. Needless to say, none of that is occurring right now, and if the strike continues, as expected, for a few months, no new pilots will be produced meaning the networks will have few if any new scripted shows to announce at next May's upfronts, where the fall schedules are unveiled for advertisers and the media.

* TBS's "Frank TV," a late-night comedy show starring celebrity impersonator Frank Caliendo, will debut, as previously announced, on Nov. 20. Its initial order of eight episodes had been written before the strike, even though most of them had not been shot. (Generally speaking, launching a show during the holiday season is considered a bad idea, since viewers are otherwise occupied and you're burning off original material during a period most of us have come to understand is when a lot of repeats air, so there's no real urgency to tune in.)

* Even the January Television Critics Tour is endangered: ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox and The CW are telling the Television Critics Association they're reluctant to participate because A) they'll have precious little to promote, B) they don't want to put forth the cash necessary to feed and booze up critics during a time of tight financial strictures, C) their executives will invariably be asked tough questions they won't want to answer, and D) they understand how depressed and soul-weary I personally am during each TV press tour and want to spare me that kind of emotional baggage, or E) A), B) and C), only.

True, I find these semi-annual exercises in bald publicity-whoring truly self-abnegating, and should by all rights be delighted were they to be cancelled, as that means I can sleep in and not bother to locate a dogsitter. But the possibility of being able to hold network executives' feet to the fire come January - that is, to be given the opportunity to do some genuine reporting about what this strike is really about - is irresistible.

Trouble is, TV Press Tour has never been held for L.A.-based journalists; it's always been for the benefit of TV critics throughout the country whose editors wallow in the possibility of a glamorous name or two appearing below a local byline. Newspapers are constantly tightening their belts and tend to value celebrity quotes over actual news, as the press tour's current structure perennially underscores.

So, hey, do you think that any newspaper that has ignored underreported stories about former U.S. Acting Assistant Attorney General Daniel Levin getting fired for informing the Bush Administration that he found waterboarding to be torture after having himself subjected to it personally or a former AT&T employee declaring that his former employer enabled the Federal Government, against Constitutional provisions championing the right of privacy, to investigate each and every one of us, down to the websites we've visited really cares about the strike's down-and-dirty? At least entertainment reporters are supposed to be lame.

"Family Guy," the show Fox couldn't kill, airs its 100th episode Sunday, with Stewie riddling Lois with a hail of machine-gun fire on the deck of a cruise ship. Her bloodied, apparently lifeless body plummets into the ocean below, and sinks into the briny deep.

No, seriously. That's the plot. Now, I know that at this point, you're probably thinking, "'Family Guy' has a plot?" But, in this case, yes.

Oh, and there are a whole load of penis jokes. More than usual, even. And a scene where Peter says the word "abortion" about 25 times. And a joke about a movie that no one ever saw, "The Lakehouse," which, in the end, becomes yet another penis joke. And some really cruel gags about Dick Clark and Rosie O'Donnell.

All in all, a pretty typical episode of "Family Guy."

- "Family Guy:" 9 p.m. Sunday, Fox (Channel 11).

I haven't seen a man as utterly happy as Seth MacFarlane was Monday night at Fox's party commemorating "Family Guy's" 100th episode. Then again, I haven't seen all that many happy people lately, but boyoboy was Seth MacFarlane happy - the only thing preventing him from grinning ear to ear is that it's simply not physically possible. His smile never faded, and it never looked phony.

"Family Guy" has survived many worse attacks on its way to its 100th episode. Fox cancelled the show once, only to revive it when it was a hit on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim and its DVD sales went through the roof. Series creator Seth MacFarlane barely missed American Airlines Flight 11 on the morning of Sept. 11, 2001, a plane that eventually hurtled into the World Trade Center. And "South Park" delivered a withering blow on the show's humor, heavily dependent on bizarre non-sequiturs, by depicting its writing staff as manatees delivering random joke balls down gag tubes.

So now, here we are, with the 100th episode scheduled to air on Sunday. On it, Stewie murders his mom Lois - or does he? What the episode may lack in suspense it makes up for in bad taste.

I attended the table read for the 100th episode some 16 months back; that occasion was noteworthy for MacFarlane's furthering the episode's theme by carving the commemorative cake and leaving the knife implanted in Lois's ladyparts. Furthermore, I was on hand for a re-reading of a tidied-up version of the once-very-obscene script at July's TV Press Tour.

So it only made sense that I'd complete the hat trick and turn up at the 100th-episode party, at some trendy Hollywood club that mopped up all evidence of cocaine for the evening.

The back of the club - the area that used to house the old Hollywood Athletic Club's pool tables (how I miss that place, only because I had my greatest billiards triumph there) - was set up, in keeping with the episode-in-question's plotline, to resemble a cruise liner's dance floor. A big-band orchestra was on hand and opened the evening with a version of the show's theme song.

MacFarlane, who if you've ever watched the show you'll know is a big musical guy, performed several standards for his audience, even though, for the most part, the oh-so-cool crowd couldn't be bothered to shut up their yapping long enough to enjoy his performance. Off to the side, two louts cozied up to a couple of women with the line, "You two girls are very pretty; unfortunately, my friend is legally blind." The line, though patently idiotic, seemed to work. (Memo to the Women of America: Is there any line that won't work on you?)

In addition to MacFarlane, who embraced all comers, celebrities on hand included Seth Green (who voices son Chris, and seemed equally happy to glad-hand with fans), Mila Kunis (who voices daughter Meg, who seemed to disappear early on), Alex Borstein (who voices wife Lois, and who enjoyed a nice plate of mac and cheese), Jane Lynch, Patrick Duffy (why? Who knows, and who cares?), Jared, the sandwich-shop pitchman (or someone from the lucrative Jared-impersonator industry), former President Jimmy Carter and Erik the Red, the founder of Greenland. (As my celebrity-spotting skills are somewhat dubious, all of this may not be completely accurate.)

The cover of Monday's Hollywood Reporter celebrated "Family Guy's" achievement with an ad reading: "7 Years, 1 Cancellation, 300 Fart Jokes (only 300?), 3 Giant Chicken Fights, 1 Evil Monkey, 1000 Giggities (only 1,000?), 85 Martinis (only 85?), 1 Barbershop Quartet Singing About AIDS ... 100 Episodes!"

Anyway, a splendid time seemed to be had by all. Even though I couldn't find a solid comedic peg to tie this to, if I wanted to justify my expensing my mileage and valet parking and the cash I spent at nearby Amoeba Records to the Daily News, I had to find some reason to write about the evening, so here we are.

- "Family Guy's" 100 th episode: 9 p.m. Sunday, Fox Channel 11.