Results matching “treadmill” from Valley of the Dogs

Okay it's no longer New Year's Day but that doesn't mean you can't start your New Year's resolutions now. I mean I actually plan to start eating less on Sunday (Jan. 4) because I'm going to a big Birthday Shindig tomorrow night. Can't waste the food...eh? Plus who else is there to finish up the half-jug of eggnog still in our refrigerator. Might as well enjoy it!

Anyway I just read a list of New Year Resolutions for Dogs at our sister blog Southbay Pets and thought...hmmm...there must be one out there for cats. I can just see Hershey and Marcie as they contemplate some of the things on this list (thank God I don't have a hamster or fish). Not sure if they'll keep these though:

Cat's New Year's Resolutions

1. My human will never let me eat her pet hamster, and I am at peace with that.
2. I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has finished watching a horror movie.
3. I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.
4. I must not help myself to Q-tips, and I must certainly not proceed to stuff them down the sink's drain.
5. I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and puke them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage.
6. I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get the stuff out of my fur.)...This never happened to me but my cats have stuck their paws in the drinking water and then used the litter box.
7. I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at NOTHING after my human has finished watching The X-Files.
8. I will not fish out my human's partial plate from the glass so that the dog can "wear" it and pretend to be my human. (It is somewhat unnerving to wake up, roll over in bed, and see the dog grinning at you with your own teeth.)
9. I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks...Thank God I don't have to worry about this one as my cats are indoor-only.
10. I will not drag dirty socks up from the basement in the middle of the night, deposit them on the bed and yell at the top of my lungs (Burmese LOUD yowling) so that my human can admire my "kill."
11. I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and stare into her eyes until she wakes up....yes that is a prominent ritual in our house.
12. We will not play Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti over any human's bed while they're trying to sleep...Hershey are you listening?
13. Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself...again Hershey are you listening?
14. I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again...Hershey? (she's actually done this with a squirell that was perched on the tree outside our window)
15. I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.
16. I will not back up off the front porch and fall into the bushes just as my human is explaining to his girlfriend how graceful I am.
17. I will not complain that my bottom is wet and that I am thirsty after sitting in my water bowl.
18. I will not intrude on my human's candle-lit bubble bath and singe my bottom.
19. I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.
20. If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.
21. It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it dissolves in boiling coffee.
22. When I am chasing my tail and catch my back leg instead, I will not bite down on my foot. This hurts, and my scream scares my human.
23. When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not necessary to check every door.
24. Birds do not come from the bird feeder. I will not knock it down and try to open it up to get the birds out.
25. I will not stuff my rather large self into the rather small bird feeder (with my tail hanging out one side) and expect the birds to just fly in.
26. I will not teach the parrot to meow in a loud and raucous manner.
27. The dog can see me coming when I stalk her. She can see me and will move out of the way when I pounce, letting me smash into floors and walls. That does not mean I should take it as a personal insult when my humans sit there and laugh.
28. Yes, there are still two very large dogs in the backyard. There have been for several years. I don't have to act as if I've just discovered the Demon Horror of the Universe each time one of them appears in my window.
29. I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come true.
30. When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to catch them.
31. I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when she's on the family room floor trying to do sit ups.
32. When my human is typing at the computer, her forearms are *not* a hammock...Hershey are you listening?
33. Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail...but how about Hershey's entire self?
34. I am a walking static generator. My human doesn't need my help installing a new board in her computer.
35. I will not bring the city police to the front door by stepping on the speaker phone button and then the automatic 911 dial button.
36. I will not speed dial the overseas numbers.
37. I will not walk on the keyboard when my human is writing important emiognaioerp ga3qi4 taija3tgv aa35 a.
38. Any critter that lives in the house (hamsters), stay in the house and any wild critters (frogs and earthworms) stay outside. I am not allowed to set the hamster free in exchange for finding a frog to put in the fish tank.
39. I will not stalk the deer in the apple orchard next door. They have sharp hooves and could hurt me if they weren't laughing so hard.
40. I will not watch the guinea pig constantly as the guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while.
41. The goldfish likes living in water and should be allowed to remain in its bowl.
42. I will not put a live mole in my food bowl and expect it to stay there until I get hungry.
43. I will not eat spider plants and hallucinate behind the toilet.
44. I will not drag the magnets (and the papers they are holding up) off of the refrigerator and then bat them underneath it so that they adhere to the underside.
45. I will learn to relax at the vet's office so they will start writing things in my records like "Good Kitty" and "Sweet Kitty" instead of the stuff that's there now like "MEAN!!" "BITER!!!" and "GET HELP!!!!!"
46. I will not be miffed at my human all day and then kiss her on the nose at 2:00 a.m. to tell her that she is forgiven and can now pet me.
47. I will not scratch the children of lawyers, no matter how much they chase me or how hard they pull my tail.
48. If I MUST claw my human, I will not do it in such a fashion that the scars resemble a botched suicide attempt.
49. If I must give a present to my human's overnight guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a big live cockroach, even if it isn't as tasty.
50. I will not soak my catnip toy in the water bowl to make tea. I will not get high and sit there drinking my tea and kneading the floor afterwards. I will not then get delusions of grandeur and make tea in the toilet bowl or the tub. And I will not try to make tea with used socks, dirty panties or hair scrunches when my humans take the catnip toy away from me....some of the Kitten Rescue cats need to read this! Hah!
A warm pepperoni pizza is not a good place for a nap.

Now that the holidays are coming I thought I'd post daily gift ideas for your pet or the animals lovers on your holiday gift list. I've got a big stack of pet-related books that were just released. So naturally you'll see lots and lots of books on this list as well as games, pet toys and other fun, pet-related things (like a funny game you can play with your dog). So here's the first installment of books that are perfect for the crazy pet people in your life.

First up we have "Posh Pups: Dogs Who Live Better Than You Do" by Ilene Hochberg.
This book features elegantly photographed posh pups and showcases the the alluring lives of priveleged puppies everywhere. Some of these pooches have their own treadmill and some dine on filet mignon and organic biscuits and roam around in Louis Vuitton carriers and Coach leather coats.

The book also focuses on the best places to score canine couture, the secrets to a fabulous dog party and the best advice in fido physical fitness among other doggie-related facts. Now I'm not Jewish but I wouldn't have a problem putting on a "Bark Mitzvah" if I had a dog. Heck I have lots of Jewish friends who'd be able to help with the festivities...heheh!!

Now if you're budget conscious you must be thinking: THIS BOOK IS NOT FOR ME!! But hold on there for a second! The book includes ways that even you, the frugal spendthrift, can lavish your dog without breaking the bank. Not only does this book showcase the best in doggie style, it gives helpful hints on everything from when to take your dog to the vet to great ways to memorialize your dog when it's time to say goodbye.
The book also features random statistics that will blow your mind.

I'm in the process of writing a manifesto about "unadoptable" pets (whatever that means) but it's getting late and I'm getting tired. But of course you can check back later for the finished entry. It's about some so-called "unadoptable" pets that were adopted.

But in the mean time I have been cracking myself up to the nth degree with the following video. Someone added music to this video and it has me rolling just as much as the original video. Although nothing beats the laughter of the owners (I presume they are the owners) cracking up as the cats participate in treadmill madness.

This music fists perfectly...especially when the calico stumbles upon the treadmill. I'm sure you've seen it a million times but I just can't help myself. Enjoy!

I guess these cats read this post and I'm thinking that Petzen needs to get cracking on a treadmill for kitties!
Treadmill Kittens

Before you know it they'll be opening a dog gym in your neighborhood complete with treadmills, ellipticals, and aerobics classes. OH BUT WAIT! Apparently they're already popular in Japan! But if you have a home gym you can include Rover in your indoor workout routine. What better way to bond with your dog than by simultaneously walking your treadmills to music or, better yet!, your favorite television show (preferably Animal Planet if poochie has anything to do with it).

Petzen has just introduced a motorized treadmill that allows you to walk your dog without leaving the house. Now there's nothing better than running or walking with your dog outside at a park with fresh air but now you can walk your dog even in inclement weather.

Here's just a snippet of the press release:

The DogTread incorporates modern features into a motorized treadmill specifically designed for dogs and is available in sizes for small, medium and large dogs. With speeds up to five miles per hour for the small treadmill and an adjustable incline, it greatly simplifies the problem of exercising pets no matter what the weather or schedule dictates. Its space saving tilt up design allows it to be easily stored in a closet or behind a couch when not in use.

"In a perfect world owners would take their pets on daily hikes through beautiful woods and meadows," said Amy Eskelsen, PetZen co-owner and professional dog trainer. "But bad weather, leash laws, limited open space and the hectic schedule of daily life doesn't always allow this."

You know what my favorite aspect of this treadmill is? The bone-shaped dashboard!! How cool is that?!

The suggested retail price for the treadmill ranges from $499 to $599. For more information on all Petzen products click here.