The Newsroom

My column today, on another adventure in parenting.

And this fanmail from some flounder ...

Steve,
I have no idea how old you are. Shouldn't matter, if you are a parent, you must have knowledge as to how a sperm reaches an egg.

Do Not Wait until your daughter becomes pregnant even before she has a period (you know, MENSTURATION) to tell her "boys lie." The boy will not die if you (the girl/victim) doesn't allow them to relieve the strain they are experiencing between their legs.
Oral.. not sex? Ha! Disease, yes. Spreadable, yes.. very easy. Reputation, easily lost with one posting on the 'net.
When boobs grow, explain why. When hair appears, explain PUBERTY and all that goes along with it.
Blood in her underpants.. assuming she wears any these days. Allow her to express her feelings and fears of what it REALLY means?
If you ain't got no wife, then do you have a mother? Or do you have a sister? Do you have an aunt? A female friend?
If they don't have more experience than you no doubt have, then don't push the subject conversation off on them.
When I was quite young, I was told you could NOT become pregant "the first time." I KNOW this is still being repeated - as we speak.
Explain the dogs fornicating on the lawn. Why? How? Blood every cycle, why? Another fallacy is not getting pregnant during the bleeding stage of sloughing off one's eggs.... Having the above knowledge and more will help clarify that which they have been hearing on TV, the 'net, radio, etc.
Do you hear me, kiddo? Speak the words NOW! Get them understood. Scare the crap out of them so that they know they are dealing with the rest of their lives.
My sister got pregnant without marriage early in her life.. resulting in a "shotgun-wedding." Two unhappy marriages followed... two children... No art school which was her dream. All because she thought that "pulling out" was safe.. The first few drops are the most potent.

I wonder if you will have the nerve to write the story when your kids make you a grandfather "before your or their times."
Your poor, uninformed kids deserve better parenting.