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September 14, 2006

Golfers, the jig is up!

From Daily News reporter Brad Greenberg:

BURBANK - A golf course made famous by Bing Crosby and Bob Hope refuses to grant memberships to women, but hosts an annual tournament where male golfers are served liquor by nude females, says a civil-rights suit filed by a member and his wife.

Eureka! I finally get golf. They really had me fooled all these years. I honestly believed it was just a bunch of folks getting together to see if they could hit a tiny ball into a distant hole. And my reaction was always, "But why?"

Now it all becomes clear.

Naked women and alcohol, all in the early morning hours. No wonder my friends always balked when I said the reason for golf's existence was to make baseball look interesting. I sounded like a total lame-o!

Here I spent countless hours at the bowling alley, surrounded by old men with potbellies who smoked like chimneys. It turns out I chose the wrong pseudo-sport! My apologies to the gang at the lanes, but I'm trading in my customized "skull in the center" ball for some clubs.

I have to admit, you all had me going. Now it's time to head to the store for some ridiculous pants and an eccentric-looking hat. I'll see you on the green!

Posted by Greg Sidor at September 14, 2006 01:02 AM

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