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September 26, 2006
Total anti-theft solution
How do you keep your home safe in this age of thievery and terrorism? Keep a modest collection of severed human heads in your basement.
Burglars broke into an apartment buiding in Vienna where they came across some human heads kept by a dentist for use in research. I know, it doesn't make much sense to me either, but those Europeans get into all kinds of tomfoolery.
This "terrify the thief" method works remarkably well. I use a similar method when I leave work late each night. I slip on a panda suit, add a backwards baseball cap, and head for my car. I haven't met a mugger yet who's willing to try his luck with a guy who sees a panda suit as appropriate attire for the evening.
In totally unrelated news, the Supreme Court will soon begin posting texts of oral arguments online the day they happen.
Finally! I'm sick of having to pirate my Supreme Court arguments from Napster. You just feel kind of guilty ripping off the highest judges in the land - well, except for Scalia. He had it coming all along.
Posted by Greg Sidor at September 26, 2006 03:07 AM
Comments
do you know what the best number for having heads in your basement to scare off thieves is? I don't want to get too few, or too many, they are a bit hard to come by.
Posted by: c-los at September 26, 2006 07:04 PM