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April 22, 2007
Lesser-known endangered species
Seriously satirical
Earth Day is a time to reflect on a planet in peril, and to try to find a way to do our part to improve it. One of those is through conservation efforts aimed at keeping nature's less fortunate creations in the food chain. I speak of saving endangered species.
While everyone knows about the panda's plight and the threat to mountain gorillas, there are some other species that, due to bad press agents, or worse yet, nature's cruel tendency to hand out ugly in mass quantities, are not as widely known. I aim to fix that. Below are two animals on the edge of extinction.
The first, Californicus badisus, also known as "the cross-eyed hawk," is just that. Every bird in this species of hawk is horribly cross-eyed. Not only do they face extinction by starvation (they always have to decide where the mouse really is, with a 50/50 chance of success), but the mating process is extremely tedious, as they can spend hours flying past each other, failing to make contact. In 1999, bird watchers across the country began a program of catching the hawks, fitting them with corrective lenses, and sending them back into the wild. The effort has met moderate success.
The second animal, Bruinus difficultus, is nicknamed "the difficult bear." About the size of a black bear, this woodland creature was shunned for many years because of its wild mood swings and annoying personality. Hunted to the brink of extinction out of shear malice, eventually hunters gave up because they hated spending time in the company of this bear. As of now, no efforts are underway to save this animal, and many a sportsmen consider themselves lucky not to encounter one in the wild. If some program isn't put into place, this bear could be gone in a generation.
I hope this has been enlightening. Now go out and get to work saving God's more bizarre, ill-equipped creations!
Posted by Greg Sidor at April 22, 2007 01:12 AM