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May 31, 2007

Fred Thompson - smooth or creepy?

MSNBC's Joe Scarborough pointed out this morning that possible presidential candidate Fred Thompson's wife is quite a bit younger than him. Depending on who you read on the Web, she's 24 or 25 years his junior. If you'd like a photo illustrating the point, click here.

C-r-e-e-p-y. Now, I know love should know no bounds, but c'mon, you have to admit that that looks like a father on his daughter's wedding day.

Are family-values conservatives going to go for this? Or is the sight of Father Time next to Baby New Year a little too unsettling?

Posted by Greg Sidor at 03:56 AM | Comments (1)

May 30, 2007

Miss USA falls for you

Eduardo Verdugo/Associated Press

Do you ever get the feeling that all of your ex-girlfriends are conspiring against you somewhere? That's how I felt when I heard about the Miss Universe competition. While you may have thought the swimsuit portion would be the most notable event of the night, it was Miss USA, Rachel Smith, who delivered an instant YouTube classic.

Our beautiful representative got completely owned when she fell on her behind while strutting her stuff. Ouch! I briefly wondered if this wasn't some existential comment on where we as a country have ended up, but then I remembered that the competition is mostly about smiling and looking good (mission accomplished, ladies!).

Miss Japan won the contest, but as always, the lonely guys of America were the real winners that night. Reach for the stars, gents. You never know - one of the gals may be really interested in HAM radios.

Posted by Greg Sidor at 01:25 AM | Comments (0)

May 18, 2007

Look! Jessica Alba!

Patrick Riviere/Getty Images

See, I don't disappoint!

Ms. Alba is currently featured in a GQ photoshoot, which you can peruse at GQ.com. Classy shots that illustrate the inherent beauty of the female form. Or something like that.

After looking at the photo spread you'll be as surprised as I was that Alba came in second in Maxim's Hot 100 contest, after Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay may be attractive, but doesn't class count for something?

All in all the list is pretty predictable (Maxim readers apparently lack imagination), and missing Anne Hathaway. Which you can only imagine made me reconsider my tax-deductible subscription to the magazine (Shhh! Don't tell the IRS).

You can see the list here.

Alright, you've gotten your eye candy for the day. Get back to work!

Posted by Greg Sidor at 03:02 AM | Comments (0)

May 16, 2007

Virtual stripsearch probably a let down

An airport in the Netherlands is testing a new scanner that peers beneath your clothes to look for weapons. So far there have been few complaints, as people are willing to trade a bit of privacy for an expedited walk through security.

And anyone who does have a problem should perform this experiment: Look around yourself at work or on the bus. How many of those people would you want to see naked? My point exactly.

I'm anxiously awaiting the day a scanner can see straight through to your bones, so we can finally identify the bio-cyborgs among us. You know they're out there... just waiting for the right moment to strike.

Posted by Greg Sidor at 08:17 PM | Comments (1)

May 09, 2007

Akon regrets dirty dancing

Hip-hop singer Akon apologized for some lewd dancing he did with a 14-year-old girl while onstage.

From the article above:

In a statement released Wednesday to The Associated Press, Akon, 34, said he was sorry for the incident but also said he didn't know the girl was underage.

Apparently it would've been just peachy to unleash carnal square-dancing if she'd been over the age of consent.

Remember when the Beatles would perform in the early '60s? They wore suits and barely moved, and went on to be one of the greatest bands the world has ever heard.

But maybe Akon was just auditioning for "Dirty Dancing with the Stars."

Posted by Greg Sidor at 06:24 PM | Comments (0)

May 08, 2007

Dining with the queen while Rome burns

Is anybody else a bit baffled by the royal visit? It looks like they dropped some serious cash on the white-tie event the other night.

Given the state of the world, hosting a lavish party for a figurehead while American and British troops are treated to MREs seems a bit - how should I say this? - cruel.

I'm not suggesting they take her out to Dennys (on the other hand, she's probably never been to one), but I'm sure that money could have been spent elsewhere to much greater benefit for both nations.

Posted by Greg Sidor at 05:04 PM | Comments (0)

Paris strike update

In my last entry I promised to go on a bathing strike until Paris was released from prison. But the powers that be called me into the office and gave me the old, "We pride ourselves on good hygiene" schpiel. I suppose now all I'll do while she's in prison is pray to God to undue this injustice. Sometimes He works in such mysterious ways.

Paris' publicist Elliot Mintz announced he'd no longer be handling her affairs. So it's the loss of a big cash cow for him, but I have a feeling he's secretly savoring not having to wake up in the middle of the night to manage the latest Paris folly.

I'm offering my services, though my method of damage control is mostly to twirl my finger around my temple and say, "She so crazy!" But hey, I'll wear a suit to the press conference and put on a good face for her. Might even wear some cologne to make up for the clip-on tie.

Posted by Greg Sidor at 02:06 AM | Comments (0)

May 05, 2007

Paris, you're not alone

Oh, life's crushing cruelty! I'll forever remember May 4 as the day I learned that Paris Hilton was going to serve hard time for violating her probation.

Everything I believed about truth, justice and the American way came crashing down as I contemplated the challenges facing the heiress. And for what? I believe that Paris was completely unaware she was driving on a suspended license, even though the paperwork notifying her was in her car. Would you expect anything less of her? She's Paris! Being woefully ignorant is what she does best!

And so now I make a pledge to Paris. Beginning the day she enters prison, I will go on a "bathing strike." That's right - no showers until Paris tastes the sweet nectar of freedom again. I will suffer (Daily News staffers will suffer more) so that she won't be the only one feeling the pain.

Paris, America has done you wrong. They've held an extraordinary person up to the expectations of an ordinary one. And that's definitely not "hot."

Posted by Greg Sidor at 01:21 AM | Comments (1)