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July 22, 2007
Beware the Burqini
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| "Dude, this is so fun. Really. I mean seriously." (Anoek de Groot//AFP/Getty Images) |
The Burqini isn't new - it's a swimsuit designed by Muslim women, for Muslim women, that covers most of the body. But according to Time magazine, some non-Muslim women are beginning to wear it instead of a traditional bikini or one-piece. And when you start messing with bikinis at the beach, you start messing with an American pasttime.
A trip to the beach without revealing swimwear would be like drying off at a vegan In N' Out. In short, what's the point?
If you're compelled by your faith to wear a Burqini, I suppose you don't have much of a choice if you want to remain in the flock.
But if you are uncomfortable with your body, there are at least two other things you should consider before purchasing the Burqini: 1.) Be proactive and try to solve the issue instead of resorting to a totally not-cool solution. 2.) Think like a man. We all think we're God's gift to women, no matter what our body type.
So let's not mess with our summer traditions. Bikinis, BBQs and questionable water quality all combine to make these few months some of the best out of the year.
Posted by Greg Sidor at 11:18 PM | Comments (0)
July 19, 2007
Draft College Republicans
That's the underlying message in a short movie by filmmaker Max Blumenthal posted on the Huffington Post.
Before I get dozens of messages about how this is a voluntary army and "Hey, why didn't you enlist?" it should be noted that I don't claim, as these college students do, that the Iraq war is our generation's callng.
If it's true that Iraq will be the decisive battlefield in the war on terror, then all able-bodied people, including college Republicans, should enlist. They can always re-enroll in college after their time is up. Heck, they'll even have some stories to tell the ladies.
Stangely enough, most seem content with staying in the relatively care-free world of the university. It reveals that they have at least one thing in common with their liberal classmates: they'd rather hit the next kegger than risk their lives for Bush's folly.
Posted by Greg Sidor at 01:00 AM | Comments (0)
July 12, 2007
Wives whip their husbands
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The study's lead auther, David Vogel, noted "[Women] were communicating more powerful messages, and men were responding to those messages by agreeing or giving in.”
I'd be interested to see how he distinguishes between "giving in" and just "zoning out." I mean, if your wife spends a lot of time "communicating more powerful messages," you could probably be forgiven for caving on a few of them.
It begs the question of whether men like to be told what to do or simply lack the grey matter to argue for their positions. My own philosophy: If you're single, you win every argument.
Posted by Greg Sidor at 01:32 AM | Comments (0)
July 06, 2007
Villaraigosa swears off women, locks self in bedroom
By Greg Sidor, Satirical Correspondent
Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, dogged by fallout from his affair with a Telemundo newswoman, told friends today that he's "done with chicks, man," and locked himself in his bedroom at Getty House.
"He seemed really distraught," said Paul Verbin, one of Villaraigosa's close friends. "He said women were more trouble than they're worth, and that from now on he'd be content with a six pack of beer and his Xbox 360."
Villaraigosa, known nationally for his charisma and seemingly infinite energy, spent most of Friday afternoon watching "Three's Company" reruns and eating stale Ritz crackers, said Verbin.
"I haven't heard from him in days," said a city staffer who wished to remain anonymous. "His cell goes straight to voicemail and his e-mail inbox is full. He hasn't even updated his MySpace page this week."
"He'll have to get back on the horse eventually," Verbin said. "Right now he just needs some time for Antonio."
Posted by Greg Sidor at 06:20 PM | Comments (0)