Steve Dilbeck: Attack of the Killer Babes

German and thought: Hey, that even sounds like Katarina Witt.
Finally it dawned on my sleep-deprived mind, it actually was Katarina Witt.
She was wearing a full-length mink coat, and I thought, too much makeup.
The thing is, I could not shake her. I know you won’t find this hard to believe, but she followed me all the way to the figure skating rink. I could not shake the poor thing. Every time I turned, there she was behind me. Like it was a coincidence or something.
Finally ditched her at the infamous ``mag and bag’’ tent, where our bags are X-rayed for secret weapons. Got out ahead of her, made a quick turn at the next fence and escaped into the arena. It was close.
But then Wednesday I’m exiting the press venue in Sestriere for the walk over to the women’s slalom, and who’s standing outside like she’s waiting for me, but Pamela Anderson.
She was wearing a white sky jacket, and I thought, too much makeup. Unlike Katarina, she had an entourage. There were three other women with her wearing white ski jackets and pants that said ``Aspen’’ across their fannies. There was a large man holding a little hairy dog.
I walked past her and she seemed stunned that I did not drool or stumble or something. At this point, I’m sure you will not be surprised to learn, she started following me. Some guys are just cursed this way.
Followed me all the way to the slalom run, like it was a coincidence or something. Now a veteran of these things, I swiftly ditched her and the dog and the three Aspen girls, at the mag and bag.
Not telling anyone what I’m covering tomorrow, for fear I’ll walk outside and Jessica Alba will be waiting for me. I am a happily married man.
The Winter Olympics, every day's a battle.