Steve Dilbeck: Taking a big view
It’s a slow day up in the Alps today. A small amount of events scheduled, where made smaller by the postponement of the women’s super-g.
Which got me to thinking small.
Small rules in Europe, of course, but now into the third week of it, I am ready for something big.
Big is not appreciated in Europe, and Italy fits right in.
Everything seems small. The cars are small; somehow four people actually fit into those things? The roads look like they’re designed for mopeds.
The showers are the real killers. You have to be Houdini just to
fit into the things, then be a Chinese contortionist to actually wash yourself. There must be large Italian men running around who haven’t bathed body parts in years.
Then instead of separate knobs for hot and cold, there’s a universal knob that’s almost impossible not to hit as you attempt to turn. Can get the shower real hot or cold in a hurry.
The soap they give you is so small it would embarrass Motel 6. You absolutely cannot pick it up once it’s in the soap tray unless you have tentacles.
Hotel rooms are roughly the size of that fourth bedroom you’ve turned into the junk room. I’m actually in good shape there, in a room with three beds. Three twin beds all designed for the comfort of a 10 year old.
They’re not big on true coffee here, but espresso. They offer American coffee, but it’s still in a cup so small it looks like it should come on the top of a Pepto-Bismol bottle.
Food portions are small, cups are small, the amount of sauce is small, prices are big.
I long for a big king bed, a giant cup of hot coffee and a double-double with onions.
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