I remember an old Bloom County cartoon where Milo and Opus were waxing philosophical about the importance of a good name. Would John F. Kennedy have been John F. Kennedy had be been named Biff Turnbuckle? Or something like that. The idea was that a great sounding name will give its bearer a certain gravitas and influence their destiny.

The Freakonomics guys explored this and found that, in general, your name actually doesn't mean anything. Their best example was two brothers named Winner and Loser (I bet Fathers' Day was always an interesting affair in that home). If I recall, Winner became a criminal, Loser became a cop, proving their theory.

There is one notable exception, I would argue, and that's the name Jesse James. Aside from the chopper maestro, it seems that name just keeps popping up in connection with less than savory pursuits. For example, the bit below, courtesy of the FBI press office.

Jesse James Salinas, a man from Santa Maria, California, was charged
in the attached criminal complaint filed in U.S. District Court in Los
Angeles this week. Salinas is scheduled for an initial appearance in
federal court today. Salinas was turned over to federal custody by
deputies with the Ventura County Sheriff's Department who arrested
Salinas after a bank robbery in Ventura County, followed by a vehicle
pursuit which ended without any injuries due to the skill of the
deputies. Salinas is also suspected in additional robberies in
Ventura and San Luis Obispo County; those robberies are currently
under investigation. Please contact the Ventura County Sheriff's
Department with questions about the arrest scenario/pursuit.

The Ventura County Star has a little somethin' on it, as well.

My, that's a nice coincidence. You name your son after a notorious bank robber and he ends up going into the same line of work. Or he becomes an accused murderer, like Jesse James Hollywood. Or a convicted killer like Jesse James Caston (thanks to Rick for the find on that one).

I mean no disrespect to all the nice, kind, law-abiding Jesse Jameses out there. I'm sure you're all swell dudes. But to the prospective moms and dads of the world, let me recommend a name with a little less notoriety. If Jesse James Caston had been born Elliot Ness Caston or Joe DiMaggio Caston, he'd probably agree with me.