Rev. Ted Haggard, the self-loathing evangelical pastor who was fired over the weekend amid allegations of gay sex and drug use, can't count on Focus on the Family founder James Dobson to take part in Haggard's "restoration" counseling process.

"Emotionally and spiritually, I wanted to be of help - but the reality is I don't have the time to devote to such a critical responsibility," Dobson explained in an AP story.

So what does Dobson have time for? Continuing to try and deprive gay people of equal rights and basically trying to make them feel terrible about themselves?

As far as Haggard goes, in a post earlier this week, I expressed compassion for Haggard because as a gay man who spent some time in the closet, I had empathy for him. But some of my friends - both gay or straight - were surprised. They asked if I had taken into consideration how many gay people in his church Haggard had made feel like immoral people. How many of them tried this "restoration" process and continue to fight their own gay soul?

It got me thinkling.

Ultimately, I think the only way I will ever have an ounce of respect for someone like Ted Haggard is if he comes totally clean and tries to undo the damage he's done to himself and to others with his hypocricy and with his lies. His "restoration" process should not be about trying to rid himself of his gayness (never gonna happen) but should be an effort to become an honest person who can look himself in the mirror each day and not hate who he sees.