J.P. Calderon struggles with self-acceptance...

I had already read J.P. Calderon's interview with "Instinct" magazine and he was brutally honest in that interview, exposing his fears and insecurity about being accepted. It reminded me of myself years ago and all I can say to him is that it will get better - much better.
But for now, this is where he is at and it is where many of us have been. On this week's episode of "The Janice Dickerson Modeling Agency," it was part 2 of an episode in which Calderon, a castaway last season on "Survivor," has a very public coming out as he agrees to pose for the cover of ":Instinct."
On the show he said: "A real big reason why it’s so hard to come out is you’re scared of losing the people that are so closed to you, your best friends, your close friends, and most importantly, your family. And I don’t want to be considered a disappointment...I hate hating myself. And I truly hate myself, I truly don’t like who I am. Maybe this is my way of letting go and finding out who’s gonna to accept and me and finding out who’s not. … I’m in a daze right now. I’m happy, I’m excited, I’m scared, I’m apprehensive, and I’m not really sure what the hell I’m doing right now. I’m just tired of living this facade of something that I’m not, and I just want to start living as something that I am. I better go home and start telling people."
A supportive Dickinson said to him: "I just wanted to tell you how fucking proud I am of you. Coming out yesterday must be really hard, and then being on the cover of a national magazine the next day? … It’s really, really good...Live for yourself, not through other people’s eyes and the way you think you should be in their eyes, otherwise you would be a very unhappy old person. Trust me."