CNN's Thomas Roberts tells his story...
Came in from the pool long enough tonight to catch Anderson Cooper's interview with openly gay anchor Thomas Roberts who told the heartbreaking story of being molested as a child by his priest. I'm glad he's
telling his story, it cannot be easy. I dashed off some notes but I think I'll post the story in his own words:
ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- I became a victim of sexual abuse at the age of 14; the abuse lasted three years. It took me nearly 20 years to gather the strength to help put my abuser behind bars. Now, a year after "justice" was done, I am ready to tell my story publicly in ways I never have before. My abuser was Father Jeff Toohey, a trusted man of God. He was the equivalent of a religious celebrity in my private all-boys Catholic school in Baltimore, Maryland. Father Jeff was every boy's friend and mentor. I considered him my mentor as well.
When my parents divorced, I was sent to Father Jeff to help me cope with all the changes. Divorce in the mid-1980s still seemed so foreign. Plus, I was just a kid, and I didn't know much about divorce. I just knew it sucked. All I had at that time in my life was my family and school. Those were my constants. But as my family fell apart, so did my life at school. After the abuse began, high school became a prison of shame and lies.
I felt trapped. My parents would be horrified to know their failure at marriage put their son at risk to be sexually abused and that the man abusing me was the high school chaplain and beloved priest. The school would never believe me, I thought, and I feared I would be expelled if I revealed the abuse. I was 14, with no voice, except the one in my head saying, "You can never tell the truth about what is happening."
Roughly a month after the abuse started, I attempted to commit suicide. I took a bottle of my mother's pills. I lined them up one-by-one on my maple dresser. I took them all and lay on my bed hoping to just fade away and die. My sister, Patsy, came home and found me. It was the day before her 18th birthday. She saved my life that day just by merely coming to my room to say, "Hi." She saw the pill bottle and went to get ipecac, which made me throw up.
My parents were terribly upset by my actions. Father Jeff was told I tried to kill myself. All agreed I just needed more counseling. Father Jeff's exact words were, "You have so much to live for." I felt so cornered, and I had nowhere to go and no one to run to. I just became numb to the abuse. "This too shall pass" is one of my favorite religious sayings. The abuse did pass, but it left me so insecure about who I was.
When I was in college, another boy, Michael Goles, came forward and reported his abuse at the hands of Father Jeff. I knew I could help Michael if I, too, revealed Father Jeff's abuse, but out of a feeling of self-preservation, I remained quiet. Michael wasn't believed, and his case was thrown out of court.
Nearly 20 years after the abuse started, I became strong enough to go back and confront what had happened to me. I was strong enough to tell my family the truth. I was strong enough to report it to the archdiocese. And I was strong enough to call Michael Goles and tell him, "I am sorry," and that I believe him because it happened to me, too.
Together, we were strong enough to see our abuser finally admit his crimes. Father Jeff was charged with 10 criminal counts of child sexual abuse in relation to my case. He asked for a plea and admitted his guilt in court. He was sentenced to five years in jail but only served 10 months. He was released early to serve eight months in home detention.
This story is so layered. For a long time, I couldn't talk about it without crying. But a year ago, CNN Anchor Anderson Cooper and CNN Senior Producer Charlie Moore approached me about telling and following my story. I was scared. I was scared of being so honest and televising this journey.
What would people think? Would I ruin my career? But I came to the conclusion that I will not be scared anymore. I will not be scared of telling the truth because it might be uncomfortable for people to hear.
If this story compels even one person to seek help for being sexually abused, then it is all worth it. All it takes is telling one person. From there, strength grows and you can tell a second person and so on. Then you can finally have control of your life back.
Greg Hernandez has covered the entertainment industry for the Daily
News since 2001. He's considered a bit odd by some for his obsession
with box office numbers, has been known to camp out near the kitchen
at premieres for first crack at the hors d'oeurves, and Greg's never
seen a red carpet he didn't want to stroll down.
Comments
Do you think it strange Thomas didn't talk about how he also like the other victim went to the priest because he was questioning his sexuality?
Posted by: John | March 12, 2007 10:21 PM
"Do you think it strange Thomas didn't talk about how he also like the other victim went to the priest because he was questioning his sexuality?"
So you're saying he was asking for it?
What the fuck difference does it make if he is gay or straight? How does that justify sexually molesting someone?
John, do you molest boys? Is that the rationale you use to make yourself feel better about it? "They WANTED it. They're gay anyway"
Get thee to a shrink. You need one BAD.
Posted by: PDQ | March 13, 2007 10:01 PM
As as teenager living at McKinley Home for Boys in Van Nuys, Calif. I was molested by a protestant priest that came to take me on day trips to his apartment. At the time I enjoyed the oral sex. At last I was being helped with a job that I had been doing by myself. (No, not the oral part). As I grew older I realized that I had not gotten away with anything, however the priest had. At the boy's home I had not enjoyed any physical affection. Looking back I believe that I mistook the molestation for affection and perhaps the lack of an actual father encourged me to accept the priest as a substitute. My parents left their three boys behind when they divorced when I was five and went their separate ways. I was a ward of the court until I was 18. Pedophiles can smell lonliness and insecurity. And I had it in spades. I have never been angry with the man, just extremely disappointed. The molestation occurred more than 55 years ago, however I still feel the emotional pain. The priest was from "The Little Brown Church in the Valley." (No chuckles please). Thanks for listening. Don Durkee, Hollywood, California.
P. S. It is important that as many of us gays as possible come out of the closet. Many people do not know how many gay friends they have. That is our fault. Coming out gay and proud is empowering.
Posted by: Don Durkee | March 14, 2007 11:14 PM
PDQ, I don't know what you are talking about, I didn't said Thomas ask for it because he was gay. I was asking this because people on-online are now finding out Thomas is Gay and wonder it is because of the abuse. For example this poster at tvheads, a fansite for news reporter, said
" I had no idea Thomas Roberts was gay, either. Seems like boys that are molested at a young age, grow up to become gay...I wonder if he hadn't been molested, if he would have turned out the same way? He never said he had those "feelings" prior to this molestation. The other guy in the documentary who experienced the same with the same Priest, did say he was concerned at a young age BEFORE the molestation, that he might be gay."
You see this poster didn't think the other victim turn gay because of the abuse because he had these feeling before it happen.
Many other people on different sites and blogs have similar statements like this statement on blog on Anderson Cooper,
"I know we have a great many readers from the gay community and I would like to pose a question to them. I believe people are gay from birth, it is not a choice that you make. But can traumatic events during childhood, like the ones Thomas described, change a person's sexual orientation? "
I was just hoping Thomas made it clear he questioning his sexuality before the abuse happen like past news article on the trial said and I quote
"Toohey, 59, a former Roman Catholic priest and Calvert Hall chaplain, was sentenced to 18 months in jail for sexually abusing Roberts after his mother asked the priest to counsel her then-14-year-old son, who was struggling with his parents' divorce and questions about his sexuality"
I sorry if I didn't made my intentions clear but I wasn't saying Thomas ask for it. People over at afterelton blog also have similar concern as I do and I quote
"I understand that the focus of the piece ultimately was on getting something done about these laws. But the fact that Roberts is an openly gay man and was the victim of an ongoing sexual assault by another man (and the fact that the other victim, Goles, is also gay) can very easily lead to a cause-effect conclusion in the minds of viewers (i.e., if you are molested by a priest, you will be gay; if you are a gay adult, it is likely because your sexual development was interrupted by same-sex abuse). This interview would have been a fantastic opportunity to address these misconceptions (which are already rampant) and put them to rest."
Posted by: John | March 15, 2007 9:28 AM
To Thomas Roberts. You have to move on. Dont mind the crab people. Good luck & more power.
Posted by: Demon Angel | February 2, 2008 7:14 PM