Bruce Vilanch takes no prisoners at Outfest awards night...

I'll be posting the winner of Outfest awards in a few minutes but first wanted to share some of the humor of the brilliant Bruce Vilanch who hosted tonight's ceremony at the Ford Ampitheatre. I caught up with Bruce after the awards and asked him to pose with the sexy duo of Jensen Atwood and Darryl Stephens and promised I'd start rumors.
Bruce is so smart and so quick and has hosted the awards for many years. And this year, he was featured in an Outfest selection as one of the five gay comedians profiled in hte outstanding documentary "Laughing Matters...The Men." [Among the others were the hilarious Alec Mapa and the ironic Bob Smith.]
Sunday night, after an award was handed out, Bruce would make up a fake runner up: "The loser in that category was Stedman Graham for 'Phantom of the Oprah" or "Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead in "I Now Pronounce You Schmuck and Larry."
And I loved this line: "I want to move along before the sun goes down and Joan Collins cracks open her coffin."

But he saved the best lines for people in power:
- "Dick Cheney was in charge [went Bush underwent a medical procedure] for 2.5 hours during which time he enrolled his granddaughter in Bob Jones University."
- "Across the street at Hollywood Bowl, Cardinal [Roger] Mahoney is narrating a special version of "Peter and the Wolf" or "Deal or No Deal."
- "Condi Rice will be starring in a new show: "Side-stepping With the Stars."
- "Mario Lopez will star in the 'Antonio Villaraigosa Story" with America Fererra and Salma Hayak. You figure out who's playing who."
- "A loser in that category is Mitt Romney in ''Transformer.'"

And finally, Vilanch - who played the role of Edna Turnblad on stage in "Hairpray," dissed John Travolta who plays the part in te miovie version which debuted in theaters Friday: "I lived with 'Hairpsray' for two years and HE got the part. He looks like Kirstie Alley BEFORE she cashed the Jenny Craig check. He and I have gone up for so many of the same parts for so many years."
Can you imagine Bruce as Danny Zucko in "Grease" or Tony Manero in "Saturday Night Fever"? I'll bet he woulda had some great moves!