I dunno why this cracked me up so much. I just read it to a co-worker and she cracked up too. So, I'm gonna go ahead and post even though I don't make a habit of posting items with the word "poo" in them.
Came across this bit on the Perpetually Nauseous blog:

Thanks to you, FORMER Senator, I will never be able to take a poo in a public restroom again.
You see, I find it hard to release my bowels in public. I've found that the only way I can release constipation is to widen my stance on the bowl, and gently nudge my neighbors foot with my own food.
The foot on foot warmth helps my relax.
I've also found that a nice diagonal stretch helps get the pipes moving...I take my left arm, stretch it to the right by gently stroking the bottom of the stall....

Go to the jump to read the rest!