Kyan Douglas of "Queer Eye" on love and faith...
Now that "Queer Eye" has finally returned to Bravo for its final season, we get to see the gorgeous Kyan Douglas on a weekly basis again. AfterElton.com not only has exclusive interviews with part of the fab five, the site also has a separate piece of Kyan that I found interesting: first, Kyan says he and gay rights activist Greg Durham have broken off their engagement and are no longer together. Then he gets into something that really hit home for me: he talks about how he and a loved one, someone who had become an evangelical Christian, told him that they believe homosexuality is a sin. Read more about how they worked it out on AfterElton.
When I read it, I couldn't help but think back to an episode I experienced just a few weeks ago that I had not intended to share. It's personal and painful. But I've decided to share some. I'm the second youngest of six siblings and one of my older siblings is extremely homophobic. I rarely see this sibling but did recently, just by chance, while I was staying at the home of one of our parents. I thought we'd just have some innocent chit-chat but the conversation was quickly steered to this sibling's christianity and within minutes, my "lifestyle" was attacked, I was told that homosxuals are "not born that way" and that I would "go to hell" if I didn't accept Jesus Christ into my heart, and that this person "prays for me."
How I stayed calm, I'll never know. But I did.
Instead of trying to defend myself, I told the sibling that I didn't need guidance in that way, that I have access to whatever information I need. Then I asked why they felt the need to just go there with me when small talk would have been prefered. I was told this: "God is telling me to." So I asked, "If God were watching you now, is this the way he wants you to talk to your brother?"
Fortunately, my precious five-year-old nephew wandered back in after eating breakfast and that ended the conversation. It was pretty awful I must say and mostly because I felt that this sibling was lost to me - that we would never find a common ground.
But what was re-assuring to me was that I didn't feel rattled or conflicted.
I just felt sad.
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in Hollywood
Greg Hernandez authored Out In Hollywood for the Daily News from June 2006 to February 2009. He can now be found at Greg In Hollywood: www.greginhollywood.com
I feel sad for folks like that as well. I'm so glad you took the high road -- it will remind me to do the same. Thanks for sharing your story.
Sorry to hear about your sib. My brother and his wife became born again almost 10 years ago. He tried to "witness" to me and save me and I was always aware that in his eyes, I was a prize conversion. We had a long serious talk about his beliefs and I expressed mine. It took awhile but today we are closer than ever. I know he respects me and he no longer preaches to me. In fact, the family suspects that his 13 year old might be gay (he likes Eartha Kitt - come on!). I've made sure to be a part of his kids lives which has helped him see me as a person. I tell you all this as I have hope for your situation. My thoughts will be with you.