What planet does Fabio live on?

Fabio, whose film career was highlighted by a 30 second scene in "Dude, Where's My Car?" proves in a new interview with Details magazine that he should just pose for pictures and not talk - ever.

On his fight with George Clooney: "He laid a hand on me, so it would have been self-defense if I had beaten him down. I could have fucked him up. Oh my god, I could have beaten the shit out of him. I was so pissed off. Right then, I could have knocked him over and beat him. I could have punched him in the face while he was on his back. That's how you really hurt someone—their face can't amortize the punch so it takes, it takes the whole impact."

On losing his virginity to a 17-year old girl. He was much younger: "She said 'Don't make me pregnant,' and I was like, 'Don't worry, I don't even have sperm yet.'"

On dating: "And they are always complaining about their work, or how they are not working. About this casting or this part they are hoping to get, and I have to say, 'Come on, you're a fucking waitress.' I don't say that, but I think that, you know, because I'm a gentleman."

On turning down offers from Dancing with the Stars & The Surreal Life: "I used the fashion industry, the whole business, for money, for chicks, for a lifestyle. But I never let them use me. And now they think I'm still desperate for a job, for work. Like I'll do anything. I don't care if I'm never on TV again."

Neither do we pal. And get a haircut.