Brooke White may have been emotional after being voted off of "American Idol" this week, but by Thursday morning, the fifth-place finisher had regained her equilibrium and was able to calmly reflect on her experience on the show.

"I can't even believe I made the top 5," she said during a conference call. "What an amazing, amazing journey it has been."

The 24-year-old singer from Arizona managed to avoid elimination last week after forgetting the lyrics to a song but said she had a feeling Wednesday morning that she had reached the end of the road. Still, there were many tears.

"(I) thought I was strong, I really did. I felt so grateful and happy and then boom! It hit me. It's over, this is done. The finality of that phase of the experience being over was sad. .It was emotional and I'd hoped so much that I could have been stronger but... I'm an emotional girl and I'm passionate and that really came across on the stage."

Brooke was sympathetic toward judge Paula Abdul who caused a furor this week when she judged a second song by contestant Jason Castro that he had not yet performed.

"Well, it is live television, anything can happen. Last week, I stopped and restarted my song, it's just human moments that happen on the show. I don't exactly what happened with Paula, but stuff happens on the show, and when it's live, things can change very quickly, and they decide in the middle of the show to change something, and I'm sure she just kind of got lost in the moment. She's a good-hearted woman, and you just move on."

Brooke was asked if she thought she had a realistic chance of winning the competition.

".I think I hoped for that, but at the same time, I tried to set goals, once I got the top 24, to the top 12, and once I got to the top 12, it was top 10, and once I hit the top 10, it was top 5. You just have to take it in increments because you can overwhelm yourself, and the expectations can sometimes bring a lot of disappointment."

Online exrtra:
On making the top two: I think I hoped for that, but at the same time, I tried to set goals, once I got the top 24, to the top 12, and once I got to the top 12, it was top 10, and once I hit the top 10, it was top 5. You just have to take it in increments because you can overwhelm yourself, and the expectations can sometimes bring a lot of disappointment. Every time I was up on stage, I threw my heart into it, but I was open to whatever may be, because you only have so much control in this situation.

On her wavering self-confidence: I didn't start singing until I was a teenager, until I was about David Archuleta's age, and I never thought I had a nice voice. It wasn't pretty, it was this low, raspy thing, I didn't have a big range, and I think I was very intimidated by other singers, especially on American Idol where it's so focused on vocals. I didn't know how well I would do, or if I would survive.

Oftentimes in rehearsal, I'd hear everybody sing and I'd think, wow, how did I get here, this is amazing, and these people are incredible. Sometimes it was easy to feel intimidated. I'm learning that everybody is different; there are several artists out there.
I spoke with Carly Simon this morning during an interview, and she just said some things that really meant a lot to me. It's okay to be different and it's important to accept that and make the most of it. There are people out there who appreciate it, so you just have to go with it.

On the judges: When Paula said last night, "Someone has to give hope to them for their dreams, someone has to be positive, and I think she gets that. I think Simon comes from another side, he wants to push you do your best, and his way of doing that is being harsh, and very blunt. That's his style, sometimes I take it, and sometimes I leave it."

On Girls vs. Boys: Well, the boys are awfully popular this year, and I know that because their fan mail came in great, humongous stacks, and we girls received three a day, it was amazing. The boys are very talented and very charming, and it's, oh to be a boy this year, it probably would have been helpful. They're great, but so are the girls, I have to give them all props; everybody has been so good.

Posted by Greg Hernandez at 3:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I've never watched "Paradise Falls" but it was announced today that the here! TV show is returning for a second season so I'll check it out.. The show is set at Paradise Falls, a quaint little vacation spot nestled in the Canadian North Woods where there will be gay weddings, porno-shoots, creepy cults, missing bodies, Pride Day celebrations, racy couples, boys with boys, girls with girls, and, for those interested in politics, a local election filled with dirty tricks. Steamy love affairs, mysterious goings-on and surprising plot twists abound.

This season introduces Julie Brown ("Earth Girls Are Easy") as Mimi Van Lux, a vivacious gay porn director that uses the small mountain town as the setting for her latest film.

Here is a really funny clip:

Paradise Falls is now airing on here! Networks. Go to www.heretv.com/paradise_falls/about for more information and the first four episodes will soon be available for free viewing.

Posted by Greg Hernandez at 1:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

T.R. Knight will join the Matthew Shepard Foundation to help kick off National Gay-Pride month on June 4 with a symbolic dusk commitment ceremony at the The Abbey in West Hollywood.

I've got four weeks to find someone to marry. I guess it will have to be a quick courtship!

At 8pm, couples from around the nation will "tie the knot" in an event officiated by West Hollywood Mayor Jeffrey Prang and witnessed by Judy Shepard. Couples will be wearing the Matthew Shepard Erase Hate pendant courtesy of Love and Pride jewelry designer, Udi Behr. (TR is wearing the jewelry in the photo) Love and Pride is the first online jewelry destination for people who believe in equality, diversity and tolerance for all. www.loveandpride.com

Behr created the Erase Hate pendant for Judy Shepard, in memory of her son, Matthew Shepard, who as we know was the victim of a brutal anti-gay hate crime in rural Wyoming ten years ago. 100 percent of net proceeds from sales of the pendant assist the Matthew Shepard Foundation.

Said Judy: "Wearing the Erase Hate pendant is a great way for people to express how they feel and promote the values of understanding, compassion and acceptance that were so important to Matthew. It has been ten years since the death of my son. Although we can not replace Matthew, we can join together to help spread the message of erasing hate."

I have so much admirtation for Judy Shepherd.

Here is a link to ceremony registration: www.MatthewShepard.org/GetMarried

Posted by Greg Hernandez at 1:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm pretty much over these reality shows that have a big group of women trying to win the heart of one hot guy. C'mon! We all know these things don't work out and it's all a buncha tacky TV. But that doesn't mean I can't point out just how very attractive the make object of affection is on the CW's "Farmer Wants a Wife." His name is Matt Neustadt and from what I've read, he doesn't like to wear a shirt!

Photo coutesy of OhLaLaMag

Posted by Greg Hernandez at 1:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm usually all over the "American Idol" results but missed the show last night due to an awards dinner and missed the exit interview with Brooke White this morning because they moved it up by 30 minutes from the usual start time. But I'll be listening to a playback and provide some highlights shortly. Sadly, I wasn't able to ask Brooke any questions myself such as: "Did you realize how scary you looked while you were singing 'I'm A Believer'"?

Posted by Greg Hernandez at 11:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

It's pretty shameless for me to be posting this picture of me with Academy Award winner Javier Barden who I met at the Oscar nominees luncheon back in February. But I can be shameless at times, as we know.

But here's the real news and it really is disappointing: Javier has dropped out of the big-screen version of the musical "Nine" being directed by the gifted Rob Marshall ("Chicago"). He had the lead role of Guido Continim, a film director who experiences personal and creative crisis trying to balance all the women in his life.

Bardem, who won his Oscar for his scary performance in "No Country for Old Men," cited exhaustion not only from film work but also from a hectic awards-season schedule. Variety reports that the actor says he might need as much as a year off to recharge. He had previously dropped out of the Francis Ford Coppola-directed "Tetro." But he does have a film already wrapped: the Woody Allen-directed Vicky Christina Barcelona, which will debut at the Cannes Film Festival.

Get some rest Javier!

Posted by Greg Hernandez at 11:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Rufus Wainwright's speech at the GLAAD Media Awards last weekend was so honest and meaningful. I gained a lot of respect for this artist - regarded as one of the great male vocalists and songwriters of his generation - who I didn't really know very much about before. I was winging it during our red carpet interview:

Q. Sharon Stone is presenting your award. Wow!
Rufus: I asked her to so when she accepted I was extremely honored and felt somewhat almighty in my gay celebrity back pocket situation (laughs). We'd hung out a couple of times, not extensively but we will after this for sure.
Q. How do you feel about being honored tonight?
Rufus: "I'm honored to be honored. I must say though that I've been gay for a long time now and I understand why they are doing so. I've always made a real effort to be completely honest about who I am and to sing about boys and about my life as a homosexual so it's the right match.
Q. There are a lot more artists who are out now so you were maybe something of a trend-setter.
Rufus: I was technically, if not the first I was one of the first gay singer-songwriters who was out from the very beginning.
Q. Are you happy to have some company now?
Rufus: Yes, very happy. It is wonderful.

Then, during his acceptance speech, he said: "An artist's decision to live an authentic life should go hand-in-hand with success. The more honest you are and more willing to share, the more gratifying it will be for your audience."

He also touched on something that I have heard friends of mine express and I to some degree also feel (but much less so after my years of therapy!): "We have to work so hard to be so brilliant and be so fabulous all the time, we often forget that we are damaged and we are hurt. To allow gay people to think everything is fine - it's not."

I love how this man has been true to himself from the very beginning and has such openness and honesty.

Posted by Greg Hernandez at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I posted yesterday about Reichen Lehmkuhl's split from model Ryan Barry and his posting of Ten Rules for Dating In Hollywood as well as the remark: "You Shady Lying Sack of (expletive). You're BEYOND Gross. What an Idiot I Have Been!"

He now regrets displaying such raw emotion online and posted the following statement on his MySpace page: We all experience pain, but venting on MySpace isn't right. I'm sorry and I regret it. I was emotional and I don't feel any of the things I've said. And whoever I've dated that it could have been directed toward is and was never the way I may have described. I was venting on life and frustration and I apologize for offending anyone or for making myself look childish.

On the page, Reichen indicates that he is also on his way to Brazil. That would certainly cheer me up!

Posted by Greg Hernandez at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

This is so nice to hear. Sam Harris, the mega-talented singer and actor, has been attracting quite a following with a series of video blog appearances which has him sharing bits of his life and interviewing famous friends like Rosie O'Donnell. He announces in the above video that this has led to a talk show with Lifetime!

I'm a big fan of Sam's and in watching the above video, it's so nice to see a man so happy. He and partner Danny also recently adopted a baby boy named Cooper and Sam has a new album on tap: "My life is in check, my priorities are in check, I'm very, very blessed," he said. "My life could not be any fuller or any richer."

Posted by Greg Hernandez at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Don't you just love this game? It's incredibly silly. But to find out which Out In Hollywood fave goes with this torso, go to the jump!

It's "Lipstick Jungle" hottie Robert Buckley, of course! He has taken the baton from Matthew McConaughey as the number one shirtless hunk. Matthew is staying way, way too clothes these days!

For more than a dozen pics of a shirtless Buckley, go to JustJared.com!

Posted by Greg Hernandez at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)