Gay Marriage: June 2008 Archives

For people, like me, who supported Hillary Clinton's campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination, the past month has been somewhat of a grieving process. I've known that I would be voting for Barack Obama in the fall - that wasn't going to be the issue - but I didn't feel the same enthusiasm.
But that is changing now and I'm more and more impressed with how Obama is handling himself out on the campaign trail and becoming a better and better candidate. On Saturday, one of my best buds, Evan Pondel, organized an Obama rally in West L.A. and it was the perfect kind of event someone transitioning from Clinton to Obama. Councilman Bill Rosendahl gave a very inspiring speech, comparing Obama to Bobby Kennedy who the councilman had worked for in the 60s.

After a few other people spoke - including a woman from the Obama campaign - Evan callled me up to speak about my post-Hillary funk and I got surprisingly emotional standing up there and just getting caught up in the energy and enthusiasm of campaign. I left wearing my first "Obama for President" sticker.

In related news, Obama has spoken out against the proposed amendment to the California state constitution which seeks to ban gay marriage - again.

Here is an excerpt from a letter the candidate wrote to the Alice B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club: "As the Democratic nominee for President, I am proud to join with and support the LGBT community in an effort to set our nation on a course that recognizes LGBT Americans with full equality under the law. That is why I support extending fully equal rights and benefits to same-sex couples under both state and federal law. That is why I support repealing the Defense of Marriage Act and the "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy, and the passage of fully inclusive laws to protect LGBT Americans from hate crimes and employment discrimination. And that is why I oppose the divisive and discriminatory efforts to amend the California Constitution, and similar efforts to amend the U.S. Constitution or those of other states."

"For too long, issues of LGBT rights have been exploited by those seeking to divide us. It's time to move beyond polarization and live up to our founding promise of equality by treating all our citizens with dignity and respect. This is no less than a core issue about who we are as Democrats and as Americans."

It still bothers me that twice Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger had the chance to make gay marriage legal in California when bills had passed the legislature and twice he took the "let the courts decide" position. But I do like that since the California Supreme Court did make its ruling, the governator has kept his word and said he would not support a November ballot initiative that would again ban gay marriage.

Tom Brokaw asked him about it on "Meet the Press" this Sunday (God, I really miss Tim Russert). Here is what Arnold said: "...As a matter of fact, I think the Supreme Court made a decision there. It was apparently unconstitutional to stop anyone from getting married. It's like 1948, the interracial marriage, when the Supreme Court of California has, you know, decided it was unconstitutional and then later on the Supreme Court of the United States followed, I think 10 or 12 years later. So I think it is, it's good that California lead--is leading in this way. I personally believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman. But at the same time I think that my, you know, belief, I don't want to force on anyone else, so I think we should stay with the decision of the Supreme Court and move forward. There are so many other more important issues that we have to address in California. So I think to spend any time on this initiative I think is a waste of time."

My Daily News colleague Kerry Cavanaugh didn't even tell me she was going to a wedding when I saw her in the newsroom a few days ago! Maybe she thought I'd wanna slap my name on the gift.

But Kerry, of course, would not have brought a gift anyway because she is our City Hall reporter and was covering the wedding of the first gay couple married by LA Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa. He presided over the union of Oscar winning producer Bruce Cohen ("American Beauty") and Gabriel Catone, an art consultant.

The wedding was held in the mayor's press room with no flowers or music and closed
to the public but that didn't stop some dame named Rosalyn Schultz of the Church of Christ from crashing the event. After the vows were exchanged and champagne was being sipped, she took to the microphone and called Villaraigosa "an adulterer" and felt that would be the perfect time to tell everyone there that she is against gay marriage.

Gee, no kiddin' Ros. Thanks for sharing.

City staffers cut the microphone before she could say any more and she quietly left the room. They newlyweds told Kerry they were able to laugh off the interruption.

"It added spice to the festivities," joked Cohen, "It doesn't spoil our day. It doesn't take away our joy. And it certainly doesn't change the fact that we are legally married in the state of California, by the mayor of Los Angeles."

They have an out-of-state reception planned and a honeymoon in India.

Wanda Sykes is such a hoot. I love her no-nonsense way of talking: "It's very simple: if you don't believe in same-sex marriage, don't marry someone of the same sex! I don't understand people all up in arms over (expletive) that don't affect them."

I found this clip on the Popnography site which has put together "The World's Shortest, Dumbest, Gay Marriage YouTube Comedy Film Festival."
Check it out!

George Michael kicked off the multi-city "25 Live" tour at the San Diego Sports Arena.this week - his first North American tour in 17 years - which just happened to coincide with same-sex marriages taking place legally in the state for the first time.

The gay pop star was asked about gay marriage by the Associated Press and here is what he had to say: "It's way overdue. It's something that happened ... almost without a whisper in England, but it was basically because we weren't that concerned about the word 'marriage."'

He added that "because this is a much more religious society, there are a huge number of people who want (their) unions to be part of something that they can place in their religion, so (marriage is) much more important here. I think that's why it's so long in arriving here, but I think it's fantastic, obviously."

I've been looking for an excuse to post this picture of my friend Jim Key taken last month at a celebration rally held in West Hollywood on the day the California Supreme Court overturned the same-sex marriage ban. So Jim, the public affairs officer for the LA Gay and Lesbian Center, asked me to let people know about the center's Online wedding Resource Guide for Gay and Lesbian Couples.

In response to an overwhelming number of calls from couples looking for gay-friendly businesses, and from business owners who want to provide wedding services for gay and lesbian couples, the center has developed LAGayWeddingGuide.com. It includes everything from bakeries to DJs to wedding planners, Best part is this: it features businesses that not only want to work with gay and lesbian couples, but support the LGBT community.

The online guide also serves as a valuable resource for out-of-state or out-of-area couples who are planning to come to Southern California to get hitched and need to locate local businesses to help them plan their ceremonies.

Here's what Jim has to say about it: "A wedding is often one of the most significant events of a person's life. Planning one is often one of the most overwhelming. Many gay and lesbian couples who are planning to wed now are faced with the double obstacles of locating local wedding-related service providers who support same-sex marriage, as well as planning a wedding on a shorter-than-normal timeframe."

So check ou the online guide and start your planning you lovebirds!

And since this adorable duo were out on the historic day that California ushered in gay marriage, "Access Hollywood" interviewer Shaun Robinson just zeroed in on when T.R. Knight was going to marry 19-year-old Mark Cornelson.

"We've only been dating for about six months, so it's a little soon for that, " T.R. told Access.

Shaun pressed the issue, asking how the date could be moved up, Mark responded with, "We'll see, we'll see."

"Thank God we have the pressure," T.R. added. "I'm happy for the pressure!"

T.R. also revealed that the couple will at least be attending a wedding soon: "We're going to Ellen and [Portia's] wedding. I'm really excited about it. We got a little Save the Date card. They're such wonderful people! I'm honored we got invited."

This is so wonderful. Actor George Takei and his partner Brad Altman were the first same-sex couple to pay $70 and apply for a marriage license in West Hollywood today.In all, more than 100 were issued in WeHo.

I had to miss the occasion but my pal Jim Key of the LA Gay and Lesbian Center forwarded me these shots taken by Robert Blackmon. In addition, Damon Romine of GLAAD has a terrific collection of the television coverage at his CineQueer blog. Here's one of them:

George and Brad's wedding will not take place until September and after 20 years together, they certainly are entitled to take their time in planning the perfect event.

Takei, 71, told ET.com that his 54-year-old partner Brad proposed to him as the two were eating, just after the news was announced that the California Supreme Court had legalized marriage for same-sex couples. "He said George, will you marry me? And I said, 'Darn it,' with my mouth full, 'I meant to do that, you beat me to it,'"

George has posted this message on his website:

We are back at our home in Los Angeles after a hurly burly morning in West Hollywood, where we applied and received our marriage license. We are feeling a combination of exhaustion and exhilaration after sharing the morning with hundreds of other couples taking this historic opportunity.

This is a glorious California morning of making history. Now the love that Brad Altman and I have shared for each other for these last 21 years will be recognized and celebrated joyfully when we get married in September

San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom granted marriage licenses to same-sex couples back in February of 2004 and has remained an important ally in this particular fight for equality.

But he told Advocate.com Tuesday that he hasn't had a chance to join the crowds in public celebration:. "I have to be careful, because there are friend and foe out there," he says. "So I have to be more cautious. I wish I could go out there with a ballcap and glasses."

But he did have one private moment today when on the way to City Hall, he pulled his car over a half-block away just to take in the spectacle of couples preparing to marry.

"People say 'My life was changed four years ago,'" he says. "Today, we're reinforcing that." Newsom adds that the mood is very different now than it was in 2004. "Then, it felt like you were doing something that you shouldn't be doing -- but you knew it was right. This time, we have permission to do it."

To read the entire interview, go to Advocate.com

George Takei and his partner of 20 years, Brad Altman, were scheduled to be among those taking out marriage licenses this morning at West Hollywood City Hall. I was too busy working to make it out there to cover the event and will post some coverage from other outlets later. But for now, here is a story on gay marriage that aired on CBS' Early Show yesterday morning which includes an interview with George and Brad...

Gay weddings are taking place everywhere in California today! But the ceremnoies actually began at 5:01 PM, yesterday and a couple of tjem were extra special. In Los Angeles County, Robin Tyler and Diane Olson were first to be hitched. And they should be: They were the original plaintiffs in the case that led to California Supreme Court's landmark decision to overturn the ban on gay marriage.

In San Francisco, Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin, who have been together 55 years, got things gojng when they were married by SF Mayor Gavin Newsom.

Oh, what a happy day. In less than an hour, some city clerks in California will begin issueing marriage licenses to same-sex couples and by tomorrow, all of them will have followed suit!

I'm thrilled for those who have been waiting so long for this day, who deserve this day. I think the images of these couples that will be all over the media this week, will be unforgettable. Nothing will change the haters minds, but a lot of others will be able to see how loving someone of the same gender is really the very same as loving someone of the opposite sex. The feelings are the same, the dreams for the future the same. We just don't need people out there using every ounce of their energy trying to deny us such a basic equal right.

Will have numerous postings tomorrow about what is happening out there and plan to be at West Hollywood City Hall as licences are being issued. No, I'm not getting married sillies. I'll be there to do some interviews and share in the joy...

At last week's Love and Pride event at The Abbey, I had the chance to sit down and have a nice chat with Judy Shepard of the Matthew Shepard Foundation, named after her son who was beaten to death in a senseless hate crime. His remarkable mom has been a tireless advocate for hate crime laws and LGBT equal rights and everytime I see her, I just want to give her a giant hug for being such an inspiration.

Here is our conversation:

Q. Were you surprised at the Supreme Court ruling?
A. "You know, I was surprised. Maybe less surprised because it's California and they're forward thinking but I was surprised. And I think what happened in Massachusetts had a lot to do with that. Everybody thought it was going to fall off into the ocean when they okayed marraige and when it didn't, people were like, 'Well okay. This is their private business and that's great.'"

Q. In the days after the ruling, what is your meszsage to people?
A. "I want everyone to understand that marriage isn't a guarantee of everything. If we think it's going to answer all of our problems in the gay community, it isn't. We still have hate crime to deal with and all the other incremental things. This is not the end all be all, but it's a wonderful thing to have happen."

Q. The ballot initiative to again ban gay marriage just qualified for the November ballot so there's this big fight ahead. Do you think the climate is different from say eight years ago or four years ago?
A: Absolutely. Prop 22, it was hateful. I think if the opponents to this come back in with that same kind of message, it's going to look bad for them because it's a hateful message. Not allowing people to be together and take care of eacn other in a legal way, that's a hateful message.

Q. Do you think it's getting through to people that it's hateful?
A. I do, I really do. I think the more we see it, the more we recognize that it's just people who love each other and deserve to be together like everybody else. The thing that's lacking is federal benefits. I think it's going to have to be a national issue at some point in time. Unlike New York, not every state is going to say, 'Okay, you got married in California and now you move to Montana, you're still married. We've got to do something about that.

Q. What about the politicians? Do you find that anybody is getting any kind of courage toward equal (LGBT) rights. Hate crimes, 'Don;t Ask, Don't Tell,' marriage. Is anybody getting any kind of backbone or are they still waiting or someone else?
A: I think we;ve seen the backbone that's out there and then we still see the wishy-washy stuff going on. Who's going to vote against a hate crimes bill? Still, we didn't have the votes for it. I think that's appalling. Especially when the constituents are telling their representatives, 'We want this to happen." They're just not paying any attention to us."

Q. You're favor of transgendered people being included in the bill?
A. Yes. Included in everything. When it's removed from anything, it's not because of anything we do, it's what the actual representative do. We can lobby for that until the moon turns pink but it's ultimately up to them.

Q. Your thoughts on the upcoming presidential election. I can't imagine you;d be sad to see George Bush out of office. How have the past eight years been for you?
A. Oh, it;s been really hard for the community. I just personally feel like we've been sort of standing in the same place for eight years. I understand that at the grassroots level we've made great strides but at the federal level, we're still right where we started.pretty much. We've educated a lot of legislators and that's good. I'm looking forward to the next eight years."

Q. Where do you get all the energy?
A. I think Matt gives it to me.

My Daily News colleague Rick Orlov had an interesting tidbit in his must-read political column this week about Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villariagosa who rode in the LA Gay Pride Parade on Sunday.

Rick writes:

Officials across California are eagerly anticipating next week's date when gay marriages will be allowed. Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, who is scheduled to be in Israel when the ban is lifted June 17, said he has taken the steps to allow him to perform weddings.

Before he can do so, however, Villaraigosa needs to fill out a certificate with the California Secretary of State's Office saying he plans to perform weddings.

It was a really big deal when Rosie O'Donnell married Kelli Carpenterin San Francisco's four years ago when the hottie mayor Mayor Gavin Newsom gave the green-light to all the same-sex couples who wanted to get hitched. Rosie told Howard Stern this week that her decision was spurred on by President Bush's comments against same-sex marriage at a time when she felt there were far more pressing issues for him to be spouting off about.

Anyway, don't expect Rosie and Kelli to make another cross-country flight on the evening of June 16 (when you can start getting married in SF. Here's what the multi-Emmy winning personality told AP Radio this week abour it: We are "going to wait until it's legal everywhere, because otherwise, I said to Kelli, we'll be going around touring the country on the marriage tour every state by state....Once it gets to be at the federal level, once every state recognizes the marriages of every other state, I think that'll be the time we would do it,"

And she believes that will eventually happen: "The same way it was illegal for black and white people to marry at one point and people couldn't conceive of that ever being different, I do think that two consenting, law-abiding adults who want to share their life together should be allowed to do that."

Love ya Rosie...

I'm so glad for people like Udi Behr. He's the handsome guy in the photo above wirh Judy Shepard and TR Knight. I know that Jay Leno got a lot of the attention at Wednesday night's Love and Pride event at The Abbey and his appearance there was a really big deal. But another important straight ally in the fight for equal rights is Udi who I got to chat with before the event began.

"The things I think are important are peace, love, equality, human rights - all those wonderful words that have such wonderful meaning that we really neglect," he said. "It is one of the biggest misjustices I think in American society that they are looking at {gay marriage] as a gay issue. I don't believe it's a gay issue, I believe it's a human rights issue."

A native of Israel, Udi learned his trade in the Tel Aviv diamond industry and his fame as an original designer took off upon his arrival in New York in 1983. His jewelry collections have been showcased in legendary stores such as Sak's, Fortunoff's and Macy's, and worn by celebrities from Ludacris to Angela Bassett to Britney Spears. But 9/11 changed the life and the priorities of this resident of lower Manhattan. It was a very traumatic day for him that included several hours of not being able to contact his young daughter who went to school near the Twin Towers.

"It changed everything in me. In every aspect of my life, it was the ending of one thing and the beginning of another," he said. "I decided there's more to life than meets the eye."

The tragedy inspired his Love, Peace & Hope collection, a precursor of all his exclusive creations under the Love & Pride brand which integrates spirituality with glamour and emotion. He designed the Matthew Shepard Erase Hate pendant with 100 percent of the proceeds going to the Matthew Shepard Foundation.

He makes a good point when discussing why straights should support gays: "If white America would not help black America in the 60s, we'd still have segregation. I think it's an absolute duty, for every person with conscience, to help his brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, fathers, neighbors, co-workers who are being treated like second-class citizens. For me, the all-American dream is about equality and I will fight for it. I think the community that needs the most help and support now from all communities - religious and non-religious, straight, gay. black, white is the gay community."

GLAAD's Damon Romine sent me this letter he posted on the CineQueer blog

Thanks, Jay.

So, thank you, Jay, for lending your voice and showing your support. When Ellen marries Portia and George Takei marries Brad, you'll have an opportunity to have them on your couch to show the world that gay couples should have the same legal protections and responsibilities as everyone else. Or you could take a different path and make their ceremonies the subject of a monologue joke. I'm hoping for the former, but you might tell me that there's room for both. Borrowing a line from you, we'll "see what happens."

Jay Leno stopped by The Abbey Wednesday night for the LOVE and PRIDE "Vow to Vote" commitment ceremony benefiting Matthew Shepard's "Erase Hate" Campaign to show his support for gay marriage.

It had been planned long before California's same-sex marriage court decision and served as a kick-off for LA Pride weekend. I will have interviews from other participants including TR Knight and Judy Shepard in a bit.

Leno arrived after the taping of his show wearing jeans, a leather jacket and holding a motorcycle helmet. He cracked: "I'm very underdressed for this." Jay was led around to different photo ops and I stayed close to try and get a quote or two from the Tonight Show host. Suddenly, he was left alone for a few seconds and I pounced. Here is our conversation:

Greg: Thought I'd grab you for a chat while I can.
Jay: Sure, whaddaya wanna know?

Greg: What made you decide to be here?
Jay: I have friends in the gay community, I mean we live in Hollywood. Who doesn't know gay people in Hollywood? So, they asked me to come down and I said, 'Sure!' I mean, what's everybody afraid of?"

Greg: What do you think about gay marriage in California and all that's happened in the last few weeks?
Jay: "Well, I come from Massachusetts and they have it there and the sky didn't fall in, everyone seems to be fine. It;s one of those things where it's a matter of time, you sort of ease into it and you see what happens."

Greg: Do you have any friends who you want to see married?
Jay: Oh, I have a lot of gay friends. We have a couple of gay couples at 'The Tonight Show' who've been together 7,8,9 years. Whether they want to get married or not...Well, the nice thing about gay marriage is you have TWO people excited about the wedding. In straight marriages, only one person is excited. Gay marriage, both persons are excited.
"But you know what's so funny to me, it's how people miss out on the economic benefits just in terms of catering and flowers and planning. The services that come with it. I see all the companies that have benefited from gay travel. If you look at it, gay people have probably the most disposable income of any group and the businesses that cater to them do very well. So it judt seems like common sense. Gas is four bucks a gallon. For me to worry about what Larry and Bob are doing seems sort of ridiculous.

Greg: If (Sen. John) McCain came on your show, would you ask him about gay marriages?
Jay: Yeah. I know what he would say because that's sort of what you have to say. But I think things gradually change and that's what happens. Obviously when you put people on the spot and you confront them and you stick a mic in their face, well, they're gonna say one thing. I don't know what would happen if he become presidentbut I know that you just have to kind of ease into these things. Like I said in Mass., people just got married, no protests, no parade. Just, 'Oh, OK. Life went on."

Greg: Were we too hard on you over the whole Ryan Phillippe thing? (Leno was blasted for asking the actor to give him his "gayest look" while guesting. He latyer apologuzed for any offense)
Jay: "That seemed a little over the top to me, I hacve to admit. Only because it was not my intention. When I've had straight actors on who've played sexy roles, I'll say, 'Give me your sexiest face.' So, when I said it to Ryan, we had said he's a kid from a Baptist community who was now playing a gay part and I said, 'OK, now give me your gayest look' knowing he wouldn't do it. You laugh and OK fine. Obviously it upset some people. Hey loo, I'm an entertainer, sometimes you annoy people, you make people mad. Alright, that happens. But, I really think there are bigger issues than that. That's a classic case where you're not talking about morality or lifestyle, you're just talking about silly stuff."

They started to pull Jay away for a photo op so I asked how he could possibly give up 'The Tonight Show' next year and what would he do instead: "Oh, that's another whole thing, don't worry about it. I'll find a job somewhere. Something will turn up. I'll get on Monster.com."

All we have to do is look at pictures of TR Knight and his cutie pie boyfriend Mark Cornelson to see that they are crazy about each other. But the "Grey's Anatomy" star told US Weekly that they are not ready to exchange vows:

"To clarify, we are not having a commitment ceremony," TR said. "once you are given something that you were never allowed before, you realize how much of a second class person you were before. That is horrible and fantastic at the same time. It makes me want to sob and scream with joy all at the same time."

LA Weekly has been doing a terrific job covering the gay marriage issue and I got this update emailed to me written by staff writer Patrick Range McDonald:
This morning, the California Supreme Court denied a request to rehear its May 15 ruling that legalized same sex marriage. Gay and lesbian couples can now wed, starting on June 17--the date set by the state. Now it's only a question if county clerks throughout California can quickly change the fine print on marriage licenses from a "husband" and "wife" to "spouse" and "spouse."

The most recent ruling by the supreme court was handed down by the same four judges who found Proposition 22--the successful 2000 initiative that dedicated marriage only between a man and a woman--unconstitutional. Once again, Chief Justice Ronald George led the majority opinion.

Any gay or lesbian couple from anywhere in the United States will be allowed to marry in California, which state officials and gay activists believe will attract thousands of out-of-state gays. New York State officials have already announced they will recognize gay marriage if their residents say their nuptials in California and return back to the Empire State. Many other states are concerned that gays will wed in California, return home, and then file lawsuits. For gay rights lawyers, the next several months should be very interesting.

Calfornia voters, though, will have the last say on same sex unions this November, when an anti-gay marriage ballot measure will be put in front of them. Already, both sides of the issue are raising millions of dollars in donations to win the battle, which will be watched by the national and world media. For the gay rights movement and the religious right, it may be the single most important turning point in both their histories.

My biggest disaapointment in Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton is that neither of them have had the guts to support same-sex marriage. As a gay person, this is the most important issue of all. So when the California Supreme Court ruling last month lifted the ban, neither of these candidates could change course.

The alternative newspaper LA Weekly has an article coming out this week focusing on Obama and the gay marriage issue. Here is a statement his campaign has released on the topic:

"Barack Obama has always believed that same-sex couples should enjoy equal rights under the law, and he will continue to fight for civil unions as President. He respects the decision of the California Supreme Court, and continues to believe that states should make their own decisions when it comes to the issue of marriage."

On the issue of constitutional amendments, Senator Obama has been on record for some time: He opposes all divisive and discriminatory constitutional amendments, state or federal. That includes the proposed amendments in California and Florida."

Gee, thanks.