
The British tabloid The Sun has a long memory and on the occasion of Elton John's 60th birthday on Sunday, the paper decided to dig up six dozen of his most memorable quote. Some of them are, well, a little bitchy but hey, this is the man who wrote "The Bitch is Back."
On The X Factor: “It is a cruise ship show. I’ve got nothing against the people who go on – good luck to them. But I hate how they’re treated. The record companies sell a lot of records and those people are gone. It’s f***ing cruel.”
On Hear’Say: “They have to be the ugliest band I’ve ever seen. If you’re going to have a boy band or a girl band then they’ve got to be good-looking. The guy Danny looks like Shrek. I feel sorry for them.”
On florists: “I loathe flower arranging – it’s a hideous profession.”
On Grammys, while reviewing a Stevie Wonder video on a kids’ TV show: “Grammys only go to disabled people.”
On Madonna’s victory at the Q Awards in 2004: “Madonna Best Live Act? Since when has lip-synching been live? Anyone who lip-synchs on stage when you pay £75 to see them should be shot. That’s me off her f***ing Christmas card list, but do I give a toss? No.”
On The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King winning 11 Oscars in 2004: “It was the most boring Oscars I have seen. I thought there might be one surprise in the song category but even there The Lord Of The Rings won. And I don’t think it deserved to.”
On pop music: “The Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, Britney Spears, S Club 7, Steps – the music is like packets of cereal. There are too many of them, too many of them are just average and mediocre.”
On appearing on Chris Moyles’s breakfast show: “I haven’t been to the BBC for so long, I almost went to the other building. But I saw Tony Blackburn on a walking stick and I thought, ‘No, it’s the wrong f***ing place’.”
On George W Bush: “The worst thing that has ever happened to America.”
On Cherie Blair’s lifestyle guru Carole Caplin: “Who’s that stupid cow who advises the Prime Minister? Carole Chaplin, Caplin – whatever her name is. She’s a mindless f***ing turd.”
On his football club Watford FC: “I’ll be fine if I don’t get an Oscar. I was chairman of Watford FC so I know what it’s like to lose.”
On Tony Blair and the Iraq invasion: “You lied to us, Tony. The Hutton Report made me wanna spit. It was like, these idiots think they can get away with anything. I voted for Tony. He’s basically a nice guy. What happened? Is it because power does that thing to you, that you isolate yourself? It enrages me that people can just smirk their way through it.”
On his grandma: “When she was visiting me in LA I’d just taken a load of pills and was threatening to throw myself in the pool. I told her I’d be dead in two hours and she replied, ‘Oh, I better go home then’. ”
On pseudonyms: “In hotels I use names like Binky Poodleclip and Sir Horace Pussy.”
On HIV: “America is my second home. I slept with half of it and came out HIV negative. I’m a lucky, lucky person.”
On ex-wife Renate: “The nicest person I have ever met. I don’t have one negative thing to say about her.”
On his mum Sheila: “I’ve always been a mummy’s boy.”
On Simon Cowell: “I am on the side of the artists. I am not on the side of someone like Simon Cowell, who sees them as another Mercedes Benz in his pocket.”
To a critic who slated his duet Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word with Blue: “Sorry happens to be a beautiful song sung by Frank Sinatra, among others. As a musician, I know this. As a w***er, you wouldn’t. Have a nice day.”
On the Diana Memorial Fountain: “It’s purely ugly. It looks like a sewer.”
In a tirade to photographers and police waiting at Taiwan airport in 2004: “You are rude, vile pigs. Do you know what that means? Rude, vile pigs. That’s what all of you are.”
On David Beckham: “David’s adorable – he’s a great role model for young people now he’s calmed down. He loves his wife, adores his kids, he’s a modern father who isn’t racist or homophobic. He loves his fashion. I really don’t think there is a single bad bone in his body.”
On women: “I can be driving along and see a woman and think, ‘Phwoar, she’s gorgeous.’ I don’t just fancy men.”
To a female photographer who tried to snap him leaving Liz Hurley’s house: “I hope you die of cancer of the clitoris.”
On Robbie Williams: “I keep my eye on him from a distance. I worry about him. I always feel he’s a bit of a loose cannon. He has that look in his eye.”
On Geri Halliwell: “Whenever you see her she clings on to you. She’s good company but she and Robbie just seem to be so obsessed with their careers.”
On Rod Stewart: “When we get together I truly believe we are the funniest two people in the world. We just insult each other – but in a great way.”
On Oasis: “They could have been the biggest band in the world but they blew it. It all came down to the fact that they were not prepared to work. And the drugs didn’t help during their abortive trips to America.”
On cocaine: “I have dreams when I have a white nose and it’s all round my mouth