owner personalities: July 2008 Archives

The precise wording is not clear, but it appears that Jesse Jackson has threatened to cut off Barack Obama's unmentionables. Or that somebody else should. Or that they should fall off on their own accord. Something like that.

Outrage has been expressed. Apologies were offered. The Drudge Report has jumped all over it. But one group seems to have been left out of the discussion.

My dog has been, um, testicularly impaired for more than a year and he's managing to get along just fine without them. My cat doesn't have any either.

In fact, we have a joke we like to tell: What has 10 legs, two tales and one pair of testicles?

The residents of my house! (Insert rim shot here)

Hillary Clinton came this close to getting the nomination and she doesn't have any either.

Hitler only had one of them and look at all the trouble he caused.

John McCain is so manly, I bet he has three or four of them.

But if anybody needs an extra set, might I suggest they do what neurotic animal owners do: Get a fake set.

More than a year after being confiscated from Vick's property, Leo, a tan, muscular pit bull, dons a colorful clown collar and visits cancer patients as a certified therapy dog in California. Hector, who bears deep scars on his chest and legs, recently was adopted and is about to start training for national flying disc competitions in Minnesota. Teddles takes orders from a 2-year-old. Gracie is a couch potato in Richmond who lives with cats and sleeps with four other dogs.
Of the 47 surviving dogs, 25 were placed directly in foster homes, and a handful have been or are being adopted. Twenty-two were deemed potentially aggressive toward other dogs and were sent to an animal sanctuary in Utah. Some, after intensive retraining, are expected to move on to foster care and eventual adoption.