Gift-giving across the pond

There were enough gifts to throw a white elephant party this morning at Etiwanda High, where a posse of British dignitaries arrived to invite the school's marching band to the London New Year's Parade.

School officials and council members had the tough job of giving gifts to some VIPs from the motherland -- former Lord Mayor of Westminster Catherine Longworth, pictured, and parade director Bob Bone. The event officially put local leaders like Fontana Councilwoman Aquanetta Warren one degree away from the Queen. Gasp!

Councilman Dennis Michael was also there. He could have pulled an Obama and presented Longworth a DVD collection (perhaps Rancho Cucamonga themed DVDs like Jack Benny and Ice Cube's "Friday") but instead offered lapel pins and pens with the city logo. I'm sure the British guests were pleased the presents were small and easy to pack.

In turn, Michael received crystal tumblers with the Westminster and Buckingham Palace insignia.

Warren and Fontana Councilman John Roberts gave the visitors Afghan blankets with a design that tells the history of Fontana. I'm sure the British guests were pleased since they won't have to pay extra for blankets on the plane. The blankets also teach a thing or two about Fontana, a place that the delegation did not get to visit.

"It'll remind you that you have been near the city," Warren said.

Warren received a paper weight. Roberts got a pair of cuff links designed with the Westminster coat of arms, which Roberts quickly put on, replacing his Rotary Club links.

Perhaps the best gift we Yankees offered was the smashing weather -- 80 degrees with clear skies and no wind. Jonathan Whaley, a parade organizer from rainy London, made note of the California sunshine.

"We enjoy this wonderful weather all the time at home," Whaley deadpanned.

I guess the only thing dry about England is the humor.