Three Rappers

proving that rap is either over or should be, three crotch-grabbers hit the stage – ludicris, and two others who shall remain nameless. horrible. this boasting nonsense should be enthusiastically ignored across the nation.
very hard these days if these guys are a parody of gangsta rap or the real thing – such as it is. but don’t spend too much time trying to figure it out.

McPhee Looking McFine

kat looked extremely edible as she and fellow “idol” contestant chris daughtry (no. 1 album this week) brought out rock winner nickelback, a faceless band nobody has ever knowingly heard. broing boring boring.
what is kat doing these days? why haven’t i seen her at trader joe’s or tiramisu lately?? kat, meet me at mulberry street pizza thursday at 3.

A Good Pair

wynona and dave navarro — one with the tats, the other with BLEEP – hit the podium together to bring out best country male, kenny chesney. his black hat coverin g his eyes, chesney made sure to tip the stetson to the radio stations that keep him in rotation.
unexpected oscar winners three 6 mafia were out next to announce female r&b act. but first, they brought out three prime purveyors of cheesecake. “damn!” “i could use some of that BLEEP.”
make that more entertaining than the last 15 grammys.
mary j. blige, thanking god and jesus in that order (appropriate somehow), won best female r&b trophy. looking good in chocolate brown outfit and fur rug over one shoulder – call PETA…BLEEP!

Three Minutes In and One Bleep

the billboard music awards – within three minutes already more entertaining than the last 10 years of grammy awards – opened with a lively workout from janet jackson and a bit later, a non-janet-caused bleep. no wardrobe malfunction here, just an intended compliment to presenter flava flav. the co-presenter, whose name we missed, said “you must have a big BLEEP.” much dirtier somehow than what was actually said.
flav has a great, infectious laugh, an entertaining personality and street cred for miles. oh how i miss the glorious music of public enemy.

Blige Delivers and Picks Up Trophy

mary j. blige was named winner of the favorite female artist award in soul/rhythm & blues. the singer seemed near tears as she thanks “my lord” and the usual list of fans, managers and labels. we like blige because she can actually sing.
at the same time, backstage, rock band nickelback, which earlier took the trophy for favorite pop/rock album, babbled on about their new album while fielding tough questions along the lines of “are you guys having fun?”

Camen Electrifies Manilow

carmen electra should’ve been in everyone’s gift bag. she didn’t do much on stage, but a little electra goes a long way. what she did was bring on stage our pal barry manilow. that old show biz style never goes out of sync with music trends. the crowd loved him. barry’s my pal because he gives some very good musicians a paycheck by using them in his big, big band. manilow won’t use the familiar computer samples and backing tapes his competitors rely on. he’s a one-man employment center for jazz players. yay barry!

Black Eyed Peas Cook

Caught on camera on tour in costa rica, black eyed peas accepted the award for favorite band, duo or group in the soul/rhythm & blues category. sat squished together on a couch back at the hotel, the peas said little. and then the next act began to play – fall out boy, a standard-issue pop-rock combo with a lot of tattoos.