… But if there’s one thing I don’t get, it’s athletes and DUIs.

This isn’t to pick on Carmelo Anthony of the Denver Nuggets, the latest combination of tremendous athletic skill and inebriated driving. He is just the latest in a long line of athletes who decided it was a good idea to drink and drive (see badjocks.com for further reference).

Of course, to imply that a decision was made before that first drink – one that took into consideration both himself and everyone who would soon be around him on the road – is a fallacy. Just like it is for everyone who’s ever had one too many and still got behind the wheel of a car. What separates from ‘Melo and other professional athletes from the rest of us is that they are contractually bound to a team (for a ton of money) to perform their sport at the highest level possible, and alcohol is the ultimate performance-detracting drug, a couple notches below heroin, mushrooms and LSD.

It makes you fat, it increases the pressure on your heart and arteries, and it makes you vulnerable to insanely expensive PR gaffes, even if you don’t get behind the wheel of a car (read: Joe Namath). No doubt there is a prevailing “dude culture” in most professional clubhouses that makes complete sobriety difficult to avoid. I’m not proposing eliminating the token Bud Light. It just ceases to amaze me that these guys don’t know when to draw the line, so soon after they sign for so much money on the dotted line.