Today the Ontario Reign announced a partial slate of Saturday giveaway promotions for its inaugural season. I’ve taken the time to rank all 15 promotions, cynicism aside, remembering that this (more than adept forechecking) is what makes sports fun for the younger set.

15. Glow Shakers giveaway, Jan. 3. I feel an enduring sense of satisfaction every time I pick up the Glow Shaker I won playing skee-ball at the arcade. Somehow, being handed one at the gate isn’t quite as cool.

14. Team poster giveaway, Nov. 1. This promotion vaults into the top 10 if you manage to get autographs, and one or more guys develop into NHL mainstays.

tie-12. Undetermined Bobblehead Night No. 1, Jan. 17. Bobbleheads are either hit or miss*, but usually wildly popular. Head coach Karl Taylor looks very bobblehead-able.

(*resident Mavericks fan Clay Fowler tells me that’s Dirk Nowitzki. See what I mean?)

tie-12. Undetermined Bobblehead Night No. 3, March 21. See above.

11. Bobblehead Night No. 2: Anti-Valentine’s Day, Feb. 14. I’m curious to see what the final product looks like. Also sounds like the perfect break-up gift.

10. Magnet calendar/Thundersticks Giveaway, Oct. 25. Magnet calendars are always useful, but thundersticks bring back bad memories (since I’m a Bay Area guy) of the 2002 World Series.

9. “Holiday” Stocking giveaway, Dec. 20. I love “holiday” stockings. They’re just as useful as magnet calendars, with the added bonus of warm and fuzzy memories. You know, of “holiday” time.

8. Cap giveaway, Feb. 28. Did I mention we like the logo?

6. Green Night Collector’s Pucks, March 7. Support the environment, leave with a puck.

5. Pink Night Collector’s Pucks, Feb. 7. Support breast cancer research, leave with a puck.

4. Affiliation Night, Jan. 25. The Reign will don Kings jerseys against Bakersfield, Anaheim’s ECHL affiliate, which will don Ducks jerseys. Until the first 60-mph slapshot, it might feel like you’re watching an actual NHL game.

3. Kid’s Bicycle Night, Dec. 13. Giving away bicycles for Christmas would rank higher if only it didn’t sound too good to be true.

2. Military Appreciation Night Collector’s Pucks, Nov. 15. A puck is a kid-sized reminder of our military’s tremendous task.

1. Zooperstars, Feb. 6. Maybe you’ve seen them locally at Cal League games. Maybe you saw them on America’s Got Talent. Maybe you’re wondering what the Zooperstars are doing at No. 1 on this list. Clearly, you haven’t met Tiger Woodschuck and Harry Canary.