Crazy, crazy world

Shoot, maybe I should get a part-time job at the Falconer in Redlands or the Yardhouse in Rancho. Either way, it kind of reminds me of this incident just over a year ago, where Detroit Lions assistant coach Joe Cullen decided to go all out for some Wendy's.

On another note, it's good news and bad news for Lindsay Lohan. I usually think celebrity gossip news is abhorrent, especially when it involves spoiled people like Ms. Lohan, but I feel the need to interject some of that here. Not because Lohan is doing well - if you read this and believe it, you certainly won't think that. But I have to give Linds (yes, I called her Linds, what?) props for representing my alma mater with her little sweatshirt in the picture. Yeah, she may be broke and look like total hell in that picture, but at least she knows what college she'd support if she could get into college.

On that note, here's my top 10 high school ballot for this week. Lots of empirical scientific data was tabulated to put this together.

10. Los Osos
I like the Grizzlies quite a bit. I think they have some playmakers on offense and, as evidenced by their victory at Colton, have some spunk. But the Grizz lost to Etiwanda, who may be the flakiest team in the county. Etiwanda has talent, but Los Osos has to put that game away. I was debating between the Grizz and Colton, but went with the winner of their Oct. 5 showdown as a tiebreaker.

9. Arroyo Valley
The Hawks can score on pretty much anyone and in pretty much any situation. I wish I had that talent, but oh well. Anyway, Arroyo had a nice 43-13 opener against San G and looks like it may be the No. 2 team in the San Andreas. And that's why I have them here, as I'm concerned that their defense won't be able to hold up in the nitty-gritty against the aforementioned Colton.

8. Big Bear
I've seen the Bears probably more than any other team in my year-plus here, so I have a pretty good appreciation for what they do. I didn't move them up from 8 just because I'm not a fan of moving teams up during bye weeks unless there's a huge outbreak of teams above them losing - a.k.a. the 2007 college football season. They got a big game coming up with 29 Palms next week which should be a doozy.

7. Upland
I got these guys ranked higher than most for a couple of reasons. First of all, I thought the Highlanders' victory over Colony two weeks ago was pretty impressive. Secondly, these guys have an explosive run-pass combo of running back Tim Hanson and quarterback Josh Nunes that seems to get better every week. It seems as if Upland is getting better week by week, which is all you can really ask.

6. Chino Hills
There's no question that the Huskies can score, especially with running back Michael Harris serving as a workhorse. However, the defense seemed to be a red flag in the nonleague, giving up 42 points to Diamond Ranch and 34 to Etiwanda. That might not be an issue anymore though, as Chino Hills gave up only 6 points to Silverado and 10 in its league opener with Chino. Glendora will be a challenge this week, but if the Husky defense continues to improve, Chino Hills will be a tough out.

5. Chaffey
The Tigers are physical and they just win. I could write more, but there's really no point. Chaffey has really stepped it up in its attempt to wrest the Mt. Baldy League crown back from Colony, who broke the Tigers' strangehold on the title. Speaking of Colony, the Titans come calling this week. Get a win here, and Chaffey will be able to moonwalk into the playoffs.

4. Hesperia
I have to admit that I was skeptical of the statistics that the Scorpions defense was accumulating. Sure, holding teams to 1.8 points per game is wicked stellar, but they weren't exactly playing the NFC East. Well, Hesperia gave up 13 points to Apple Valley, but in the 22-13 win, validated itself in a big win. The Scorpions are quick, they have a nonstop motor and they are well taught. Hesperia, my friends, is for real.

3. Miller
The Rebels are still rolling along without a loss, but have found things a little tougher in CBL play. I guess that's not to be unexpected, but still, I would have liked to see the Rebels pull away from Rialto a little earlier two weeks ago and I would have liked to have seen them score more than 14 points against Yucaipa this past week. Of course, wins are the best way to shut people up, but Carter is going to be an enormous test of Miller's street cred this week.

2. Serrano
The Diamondbacks are about as efficient as it gets. They chew you up with the run, then hit you deep with the pass. They clog up the opposing team's rushing attack, then use pressure and quickness to force opposing offenses into mistakes. This all makes sense, as the Diamondbacks are pretty much cyborgs. Actually, no they aren't, but they are machine-like in their efficiency. Serrano has a score to settle Friday against Rim of the World, who has defeated the D-Backs the last two years.

1. Redlands East Valley
Seriously, could this have been anyone else? In fact, if you expected anyone else, I demand that you log off your computer and run around the block 12 times as a punishment. The Wildcats have been pummelling everything in their path, shutting out Fontana and Yucaipa by the combined score of 96-0 the last two weeks. Add that to a 52-6 win over Ike in their season opener, and that's three league wins by the combined score of 148-6. It's kind of like when my roommate in college would play EA Sports' NCAA Football and play 15-minute quarters against the computer at the junior varsity level. He'd win 225-0 or something stupid like that, which pretty much feels like what REV is doing now. It's Rialto's turn to taste the pain this week.