The average sports fan isn't aware of their team's annually updated biographies, probably the most revealing pieces of propagandic literature this side of Mao's Little Red Book, known as "media guides." Provided for the local and national media members who might write/say anything about them over the course of the upcoming season, media guides range from the humorous to artistic to informative - well, they're all at least informative. Reaching around the desk here for a random one ... I see from the 2007 Sobe NoFear/Samsung/Honda Motocross media guide that "Billy Laninovich has the speed to be a Supercross champion." I guess some media guides are more informative than others.
Like any book, the cover of the media guide is its most important page. It is the duty of your team's PR department to make the cover shine by putting the team's best foot forward. Sometimes it's an obvious choice; the 2007-08 Anaheim Ducks media guide, for example, had for its cover the Stanley Cup resting on a sandy beach. By contrast, the 2007 Kansas City Royals went with a smiling portrait of David DeJesus and Mark Teahen. (Sure, why not?)
Today I returned from vacation to find the 2008 UCLA football media guide on my desk. Someone must be aware of my sardonic affinity for my alma mater's lesser-known revenue sport.
So who or what made the cover? Judging by the most positive offseason talk surrounding the team, you would expect (in no particular order):
1, Rick Neuheisel;
2, Rick Neuheisel;
3, Rick Neuheisel
But alas, Neuheisel (who if you haven't heard is the new head coach, the anti-Karl Dorrell, the harbinger of all things optimistic and owner of a career .688 Division I win percentage) is nowhere to be seen. Instead we get a photo of #86 and #93 who, by flipping inside to the player bio section, I learn are tight end Logan Paulsen and defensive tackle Brigham Harwell, respectively. Obviously, UCLA couldn't go with the starting quarterback (who was named only today, two weeks before the season opener). Couldn't go with the featured tailback (Kahlil Bell's 817 yards and 5 touchdowns last year aren't quite cover-worthy). Couldn't go with the standout receiver, either, because I couldn't even name him if I tried.
So instead we get Paulsen and Harwell, neither of whom are statistical studs or guaranteed to be playing anywhere on Sundays next year outside of NFL Europe. What does that say about Neuheisel?
There's two plausible explanations: Either he didn't want to be on the cover, or the UCLA sports information department did not want him on the cover. If this was Neuheisel's call, I'd be curious to know why. If this was an SID's call, it's because the media has shown trepidation buying Neuheisel's returning-home-to-glory storyline. (ESPN's Ivan Maisel illustrates this point rather well.)
In either case, it's only appropriate that you have to turn to Page 2 of the media guide to find Coach Neuheisel, superimposed against a background of a crowded Rose Bowl. The title on the top: "Neuheisel Comes Home". On the bottom: "Then ... Now ... Forever"
Perhaps someone entertained the idea of making this the cover, then lost a coin flip. Maybe it was deemed "too cheesy." Maybe Paulsen and Harwell actually offer more potential, more reason for hope, than Neuheisel and maybe it's going to be another long year.
