Top Five Lakers So Horrible They're Memorable
I just feel like doing a list. Everyone loves lists, right?
And I just came across the name of one of the guys I'm gonna put on one of these two lists.
He was my inspiration, really. A guy named after applesauce, or something.
So, two lists, actually: Lakers so awful we probably haven't forgotten them; Lakers so awful we did, in fact, forget them. Isn't it interesting how some guys make one list but not the other?
And one guideline here: The guy had to have been in the rotation. Twelfth men don't count, that is.
Oh, and one more guideline: These are Lakers only from the Magic Johnson Era and forward. That is, 1979 to present.
Lakers So Awful We Will Never Forget Them.
5. Swen Nater. Yeah, Bill Walton's backup, who played more in the NBA than he did at UCLA. The guy the Bruins recruited out of a garage. He actually had the ninth-most minutes for the 1983-84 team. There was a reason John Wooden never played him.
4. Chuck Nevitt. One of the all-time gawky 7-foot-6 no-game centers. Sort of the Shawn Bradley of the late 1980s.
3. Pig Miller. Imagine, the Lakers traded for a guy named Pig Miller ... and he stunk it up for a big chunk of 1994-95.
2. Kwame Brown. Still with the team, but I'm sure we'll never forget this fumble-fingered lout. Rivals Michael Olowokandi as the worst No. 1 overall pick in the draft in the last decade. Or three.
1. Smush Parker. Some day we'll look back on William "Smush" Parker's two-year reign of error as the Lakers' starting point guard and laugh ... or maybe wince. Thing is, he was a no-talent playground baller who actually believes he can play and has the 'tood and bling to back up his madness. The belief; not the game of basketball as conducted in the NBA.
Five Lakers So Awful We Did, in Fact, Forget Them
5. Larry Spriggs. Never heard of him, right? If you're 35 or older, you just forgot him, because he played with the Lakes for three seasons in the mid-1980s, when they were an elite team.
4. Sedale Threatt. All you need to know about the incompetence of the post-Magic Lakers is this: Sedale led the team in scoring in 1992-93. And he's as forgotten as yesterday's comics.
3. DeJuan Wheat. Lakers' first-round pick in 1997. Sure. Out of Louisville. Don't remember him??? Maybe 'cause he was awful.
2. Samaki Walker. Dude got real minutes for two recent seasons, 2002-2004 ... and now you couldn't pick him out of a police lineup.
1. Dennis Rodman. Bet you forgot "Worm" had 23 games with the 1998-99 Lakers, mainly because Shaq wanted him around to help rebound. But Worm had gone bye-bye by then, and now his Lakers days are not even a memory. It's like he went directly from the MJ Bulls to partying in Newport.