Revenge of the Nerd: Eli Manning in Super Bowl
I can't get over this. Every time I see Eli Manning with his helmet off, or hear him talk, I'm just overwhelmed by the man's astonishing ... dorkiness.
THAT guy is a professional athlete? Not only that, but a quarterback? And not only that but a Super Bowl quarterback?
Eli looks as if he came straight out of a casting call for "Revenge of the Nerds III" ... except he was sent away for being TOO nerdy. "We want someone more believable as a real person, not someone with dork makeup on."
(Here is an unflattering youtube video of Eli, throwing an interception and losing a fumble. It's supposed to be a parody.)
Tom Brady being the other quarterback in the Super Bowl only makes it worse for poor Eli. Since Brady generally is considered to be a taller, handsomer version of Matt Damon. Brady is the 2008 prototype of "Adonis as athlete."
And then there's Eli, who aspires to "goofy-looking."
I mean, it's not his fault he looks dorky. Presumably he was born that way, though one wonders how that worked out, given that his father, former NFL quarterback Archie Manning is a decent-looking guy and his mother HAD to be an attractive woman (since NFL QBs don't marry homely folks).
It's not as if Big Brother Peyton is movie-star handsome, but Eli ...
It doesn't help things when Eli starts talking, either, because he's got a big "Gomer Pyle quotient" to him. Or maybe more like a Forrest Gump thing, to make a more modern connection. "Well, GOLL--EE!"
Anyway, Eli vs. Brady is a mismatch on a lot of levels ... right down to how they look when cameras are pointed at them. Giants fans can only hope looks don't count for anything in Super Bowls, because if they do get ready for about four interceptions from Eli.
Give Eli this: He has to give hope to nerds everywhere. Clearly, then can aspire to things other than massive fortunes from dot-com startup companies. They also can be a Super Bowl QB.