Saturday picks somewhat quickie

I’m pressed for time, but as per my duty, here are my college and Big Bear picks for Saturday. I went 8-3 in college last week and while I can’t guarantee similiar success, if I do, you’ll make some mad cash.

High School
San Jacinto at Big Bear
First of all, if you are betting on this seek help. Immediately. And I’m not joking, that’s just sick. Anyway, the Bears are in the rare positon of having to recover from a loss, as their 17-game winning streak was snapped. Worse than that, they are playing the team that assumed their No. 1 position in the East Valley polls and who wants revenge for a 42-21 CIF title game loss last December. I can’t imagine the Bears dropping two at home though.
Big Bear 31, San Jacinto 29

USC (-20.5) at Washington
Two weeks in a row I have gone with the Huskies. Two weeks in a row they made me look like a Chumpzilla. I’m not making that mistake again, especially against USC. I still like Jake Locker, but I like USC’s bevy of Parade all-Americans more. Much more.
USC 44, Washington 17

UCLA (+2.5) at Oregon State
I don’t get the Bruins. But then again, I guess UCLA is predictable in the fact that it’s utterly unpredictable. Writing that last sentence gave me a headache, but I guess if I was a UCLA fan, I’d have a bottle of Advil by me at all times. Bruin fans will need Advil, and probably some sort of depressant, after watching their team blow this one.
Oregon State 26, UCLA 21

California (+6.5) at Oregon
This will definitely be the most fun game to watch this weekend. These teams are bascially going to pull a 2×100-yard relay for three hours in Eugene tomorrow, with Dennis Dixon and Jonathan Stewart going for the Quackers against Justin Forsett and DeSean Jackson for the Bears. Though the best fight tomorrow may be Oski the bear vs. the Ducks, if the below video is any indication.

Oregon 42, California 34

Alabama (+1.5) at Florida State
A battle to see which deluded fan base most thinks it should be a national title contender when in reality, their team stinks. Talking about stink, my sentences stink. And if you like good offense, this game is going to smell like Jerry’s car in the mutant BO Episode of Seinfield (Season 5 if I’m not mistaken). The Seminoles take an ugly game.
Florida State 17, Alabama 13

Michigan State (+7) at Wisconsin
A lot of people are talking upset here, as the Badgers have been unimpressive in their victories and the Spartans are 4-0 after beating Notre Dame. But beating Notre Dame this year is like beating a baby squirrel with broken legs – anyone can do it. Michigan State teases every September only to fall by the wayside and until it proves otherwise, I’m betting on that. Plus Wisconsin won me some money in Vegas last week on a five-team tease.
Wisconsin 23, Michigan State 14

Another reason to take Wisconsin is their ode to House of Pain’s Jump Around, which you can watch below.

Kansas State (+14.5) at Texas
Another upset people are talking about that I just won’t get on board with. Why won’t I? A) Kansas State wears purple, which is dumb. B) Texas is hella mad about losing at K-State in an upset last year and is at home and C) I already picked my upset of the week (take a bow South Florida). I won’t analyze this game because I don’t need to.
Texas 35, Kansas State 16

Penn State (-3) at Illinois
I said I wasn’t going to pick an upset about 60 seconds ago. Well, I lied. I know I should probably get my head examined for going with a Ron Zook-led team who’s student body cried profusely when Chief Illiniwek made his last dance last February. Yeah, crying over an obviously racist mascot is a good use of your college dollars. Just gamble profusely like me.
Illinois 20, Penn State 14

Auburn (+18) at Florida
It’s hard to believe that Auburn could be that big of an underdog. But then you watch the Tigers play and it all comes clear. They aren’t really good. Not even remotely good. Tim Tebow gets to have a good time with this game.
Florida 31, Auburn 10

And to the last pick. Just because I’ve already thrown two youtube videos on this entry, you won’t get that. But if you hate Notre Dame, you’ll get that much more.

Notre Dame (+22) at Purdue
Yep, time to rub more salt in the wounds of Irish fans. They have to be able to cover a game, much less win, right? Not this week bubba. I don’t mess with a streak and Notre Dame is on as mind-numbing of a streak as anyone in the nation right now. Shoot, even the Duke game in November is up for grabs, and J.J. Redick graduated a couple seasons ago.
Purdue 38, Notre Dame 13

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  • Big D

    Good calls on, oh, Texas, Illinois AND Auburn. Whomever took your picks to heart, or Vegas, is a complete nimrod… kinda like you. What? No pick for Big Blow, err Blue?

    Just keeping it real.

  • T.J.

    Big D,

    Well, I’m just hoping they took the Illinois pick instead of Texas and Auburn. And as far as Michigan, did you really want me to waste valuable space on the internet writing about that game? I think not.