In between watching Malibu Spring Break and listening to Jay-Z, I decided to drop some college pick knowledge. I was a decent 6-5 last week and hit my Thursday pick this week. If I continue that, I’ll be singing this later.

Now to the picks…

Arizona (+21) at USC
The Mark Sanchez era starts at USC, at least temporarily. Hopefully Sanchez will make it big, not because I particularly like the guy, but for all the tasteless jokes that will spawn from it. Anyway, USC embarrassed itself worse than Heidi Montag (a.k.a. Spencer’s fiance from The Hills) does when singing at birthday parties. Either USC will play flat and almost get beat again or come through swinging. With Sanchez, I think it will be the latter.
USC 40, Arizona 13

Oregon State (+14) at California
The Golden Bears as the No. 2 team in the nation? Yeah, its pretty nuts. Then again, so is the show Family Guy and so are the offspring of Marlon Brando. I’m not sure if Cal is that elite, but Oregon State likes to turnover the ball. I think Cal wins this going away.
California 38, Oregon State 16

Missouri (+12) at Oklahoma
Fun facts about Missouri. 1) It’s the alma mater of Brad Pitt and Sheryl Crow 2) It has a tradition called Tap Day, which is only second in random Big 12 holidays to Baylor’s Diadeloso (Day of the Bear). To read about that special day, click here. Yes, it’s a day to play with your friends and there is a dog show.
Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, Missouri-Oklahoma. Oklahoma is better than Missouri. There’s nothing more to say.
Oklahoma 34, Missouri 20

LSU (-9.5) at Kentucky
LSU got a big win last week, a win in which coach Les Miles showed that he had a pair of big brass ones. Going for it on fourth-and-one at the Florida 5 when a field goal would have forced overtime took some ganachos, and I smile on someone with those kind of stones. Well, not literally. LSU builds on last week.
LSU 31, Kentucky 18

Boston College (-14) at Notre Dame
Before I get into this prediction, here’s Lou Holtz’s latest music video.

After laughing about that, you have to laugh at Holtz picking the Irish yet again. It’s to the point where I’m expecting Mark May to give him an atomic weggie. Despite last week’s win against UCLA (where the Bruins’ walk-on quarterback had almost as many names as completions), Notre Dame has been having its briefs shredded all season. Even in the win over UCLA, Notre Damus only had 140 yards of offense. That’s not going to do it against BC.
Boston College 30, Notre Dame 14

Connecticut (+3) at Virginia
If you would have told me I’d be picking this game a month ago, I would have assumed that Ray Allen would have given me a bribe under the table to do so. But astoundingly, UConn is undefeated at 5-0 and Virginia is at 5-1. Either way, this game would be a lot better on the hardwood. I’ll go with UVa here.
Virginia 22, UConn 14

Purdue (+5) at Michigan
You knew I was going to pick this. As a Wolverine, I’m contractually obligated to pick any Michigan football game that is halfway decent. They made me sign that when I got my diploma. Michigan hasn’t been great against the spread offense, which Purdue runs almost exclusively, but Purdue hasn’t won in Ann Arbor since 1966. Lady Bird Johnson was kickin’ back then. The Boilers will come close, but Michigan continues its slug-like surge up the Big Ten standings.
Michigan 31, Purdue 28

Texas A&M (+10) at Texas Tech
Tech has been in the news lately, as some frat dude in Lubbock decided to make a t-shirt that had a likeness of Michael Vick hanging A&M’s dog mascot, Reveille, by a rope with the words “Vick ’em” on the bottom. To read more, click here . I would take offense, but I wore a “Freshman girls, get them while they’re skinny” t-shirt during my collegiate years. Yeah, I’m a big moron. So are the Aggies though, who haven’t won in Lubbock since 1993 and won’t this year either.
Texas Tech 38, Texas A&M 23

Auburn (+3) at Arkansas
I’m not sure what’s weirder – the fact that Auburn, despite being called the Tigers, have a War Eagle chant – or that Arkansas exists. Ok, that second joke stunk, but what do you want, it’s 3 a.m. I really don’t know what else can be said about this game that hasn’t been said already. Nothing’s been said you say? Well, that’ll continue.
Auburn 23, Arkansas 16

Here’s another music video, for reasons to be disclosed below.

Wisconsin (+7) at Penn State
The octagenerian coach gets in a road-rage type car accident. The starting running back, a senior from Allentown, Pa, is suspended from the team and accused of rape. Yep, just another week at Penn State. One of my best friends from college is a huge Penn State fan and visited me this week. While chillin’ in Hollywood, he expressed regret for the Nits and didn’t like their chances too much against Wisconsin. That’s good enough for me.
Wisconsin 21, Penn State 14

Share this