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Friday Football Funnies: Soccer, Sex, Booze - and a Moose

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I couldn't resist these items collected in the last week or so. All strange. All true.

For instance, you'll be relieved to know South Africa's tourism authorities are looking out for the fans when they indicated earlier this week they wanted to legalize prostitution during the 2010 World Cup.

In truth, the next item is more sad than funny, but it still falls under the category: "And you thought MLS refs were bad."

Finally, here's a story brave enough to ask the question: What do you do when a moose interrupts a soccer game?

Be careful out there this weekend.

Friday Football Weekend Preview: Becks, SuperLiga & More

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Another soccer-filled weekend is on tap, so let's get to it.

*The Galaxy are out of town in New York where Claudio Reyna retired this week and the Red Bulls signed two South American midfielders who could make their debuts Saturday.

The game airs live at 3:30 p.m. on Fox Soccer Channel and a crowd of more than 45,000 is expected to turn out largely to see David Beckham who continues to prove why he's nicknamed Golden Balls.

Need a reminder why so many people want to see the game? Check out the highlights from last year.

*Meanwhile, they're expecting a similarly large boost in attendance in Kansas City on Sept. 13 when Becks and the Galaxy visit so the Wizards announced Thursday they are moving the game from the 10,000-capacity CommunityAmerica Ballpark to vast Arrowhead Stadium.

*Chivas USA are at home at 5 p.m. Sunday playing at Cal State Fullerton's Titan Stadium in the third and final SuperLiga game (live on Telefutura) where three teams in Group B could finish tied with six points by the end of the weekend.

How complicated is the picture for qualification for the next round? Here it is broken down from a New England perspective courtesy of the Revolution, but it also tells you what Chivas USA need to do:

A win or a draw on Sunday would assure the Revolution first place in the group, while a Pachuca loss to Santos Laguna in the group's other game would also secure New England's passage to the next round. Even if the Revs lose to Chivas USA and Pachuca defeats Santos, the possibility still exists that the Revolution could advance to the competition's final four, because in that case, New England, Chivas USA and Pachuca would all be tied atop the group with six points. If that happens, the group would be decided on goal difference, and the Revs (+2) currently have a better goal difference than both Chivas USA (0) and Pachuca (0).

*Meanwhile, Chivas USA defender/midfielder/forward Jonathan Bornstein of Los Alamitos was named as a replacement for Olympics-bound players in the MLS All-Star Game even though he's missed plenty of games this season and has not quite found the form he did last year (yet).

Plenty of other players are more deserving of course, such as D.C. United's Luciano Emilio (third in the league in scoring) or the Crew's Guillermo Barros Schelotto (the MLS assist-leader who had another two plus a goal Thursday in Columbus' 3-3 draw with Kansas City). Yet another reason to question the game's credibility.

*Also, Chivas USA has had Amber Hernandez, a 15-year-old member of the South Valley Chivas Academy in Porterville called up to the Mexican Under-17 National Team for the CONCACAF U-17 Women's Championship that began Thursday in Trinidad & Tobago.

*In other youth soccer news, the Los Angeles FC Under-18 boys team (led by U-17/18 Coach of the Year Rafa Moran) plays for the U.S. Development Academy championship at Home Depot Center live at 8 on ESPN2 tonight. Full details here.

*Over in the PDL, the San Fernando Valley Earthquakes are still in with a chance of making the playoffs after defeating the Ventura County Fusion Thursday.

The Quakes need a win Sunday against the Fresno Fuego in a 7:05 p.m. game at Calabasas High to make the playoffs.

Here's why from the Quakes Web site:

The Fuego overwhelmed the Southern California Seahorses 5-2 Thursday to move into first place on 29 points; the San Francisco Seals, in second place, take on Bakersfield Brigade today, and will move to the top of the league on 30 points if they win. The Quakes now lie third, on 27 points, with Fusion in fourth, their playoff hopes virtually over.

*In the W-League tonight it's Pali Blues at Los Angeles Legends in a 6 p.m. game at Esperanza High.

*U.S. striker Abby Wambach had surgery Thursday on
her broken leg.

*Finally, at least one Mexican club apparently does not know what the new national team coach looks like (exactly).

And if you liked that, then return later today for some Friday Football Funnies, true and strange soccer stories from around the world in the last week or so.

Enjoy your weekend.

Chivas USA Gameday (& a Galaxy Preview)

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Here are the essentials for tonight's Chivas USA-New York Red Bulls game at Home Depot Center:

*NYRB are without Claudio Reyna, Juan Pablo Angel (both injured) and, of course, one Senor Altidore (sunning himself in Spain).

*Fear not. Chivas USA has Justin Braun.

*The Red Bulls are playing their fifth game in 15 days tonight, which could help Chivas USA avoid losing twice to New York in one season.

*Oh, and Mickey Mouse will perform the coin toss before the game.

Want more? Here's a longer preview.

And while we're at it here's a Galaxy-D.C. United preview (it's a nice try at a different sort of advance, but turns out to be a bit of a stretch since United's Marcelo Gallardo decided not to play ball). This may be the only preview posted here since the game kicks off on ABC at 9 a.m. and it's highly unlikely I will crawl out of bed early on a Sunday morning to actually blog. And don't forget the Euro 2008 final between Spain and Germany follows immediately after on the same channel.

Friday scores:
Fort Collins Force 4 Ventura County Fusion 1 (W-League).
San Jose Frogs 3 Los Angeles Legends 3 (PDL).

Finally (and for no other reason than I could do with a laugh this morning) take five seconds out of your day and watch this contender (that appears to be from a league game in Russia) for the worst penalty kick ever.

Back this evening with more from the Chivas USA game.

Galaxy Update: Becks, Buddle & More

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Landon Donovan was named MLS Player of the Week for the third time this season after his two-goal performance in the 3-3 draw with Columbus Saturday that gave him a league-best 11 goals in 10 games.

Donovan's second goal was the 75th of his MLS career, making the 26-year-old the youngest player to reach that milestone.

Also on the awards front, Edson Buddle has been nominated for MLS Goal of the Week for the second consecutive week.

The Galaxy Rios Under-20 demolished the Bakersfield Brigade 8-0 in a USL Super-20 game last weekend. The 3-1-1 Rios are currently tied for first place in the league with the Ventura County Fusion, who they meet 5 p.m. Sunday at Home Depot Center. Admission is free.

Finally, the studliest pen commercial you'll ever see:

Tropical Galaxy Gameday

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I'm on Barbados time, so late blogging this morning.

The Galaxy face the Crew at steamy Home Depot Center (7:30 p.m. live on Prime) later today. Game previews are here and here.

The U.S. women (narrowly) won the Peace Cup overnight.

On the men's side, CONCACAF World Cup qualifying resumes this weekend. The U.S. is in Barbados for the second leg where the weather is typically tropical.

Back with more tonight from Carson.


USA World Cup Qualifying Gameday & Galaxy Highlights

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It starts here.

Did that get you in the mood for today's U.S.-Barbados qualifier at Home Depot Center?

The game begins at 2 p.m. live on ESPN2 and Galavision.

Here's a game preview from the U.S. perspective and another from the view of Barbados wherein we learn the name of Barbados' playmaker: Norm.

Here's an update on the rest of the CONCACAF World Cup qualifiers this weekend, including four goals by Galaxy striker Carlos Ruiz for Guatemala against St. Lucia.

Meanwhile, Galaxy striker Edson Buddle was similarly pumping in the goals - but for L.A. in Oakland Saturday against the Earthquakes.

Well taken goals, too, judging by the highlights.

Of course, the largest crowd ever to see an Earthquakes game in the Bay Area didn't come to see Buddle - or San Jose for that matter.

Game story here.

Happy Father's Day.

I'll rejoin you later from Victoria Street.

Beckham on Stewed Eels & More

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Thought that headline would get your attention.

But before we get to that revelation, a second female U.S. soccer player has gone down with a serious injury and will miss the Olympics. Find out who here.

OK, onwards with the trivial journalism of the day including this "report" from Forbes Magazine, (whose major contributions to journalism these days seems to consist of pumping out lists) which names David Beckham as the world's fifth most powerful celebrity.

The only other soccer player on the list is Ronaldinho at No. 38, for those who can't be bothered to sift through the entire list.

And here, as promised, is Beckham's take on English cuisine from The Jimmy Kimmel Show earlier this week. (Warning: complete time waster). And thanks Becks, for perpetuating the myths about weird English cuisine.

Finally, this is trivial too, but at least it's for a good cause: if you're in Carson or close by this afternoon a team of Galaxy players will take on a team of Avengers (that's an arena football team for the pigskin impaired) players in a race around a local supermarket grabbing food for a local food bank.

More here from the (edited) Galaxy press release:

"Dash for the Hungry" - a race where players from the LA Galaxy and the Los Angeles Avengers "dash" around Albertsons pushing grocery carts and collecting food to feed the hungry will be held at 3 p.m. today at a store at 200 E. Sepulveda Blvd. (at the intersection of Main Street) in Carson. With only five minutes on the clock, the goal is to collect as much product as possible and raise plenty of money to benefit families and residents who rely on the Los Angeles Regional Foodbank for assistance.

Galaxy players set to race: forward Edson Buddle, goalkeeper Steve Cronin, forward Alan Gordon and defender Julian Valentin.


The big question: Will Gordon display more speed next to the frozen peas than he does in the opponents' penalty area?

Galaxy Post-Game

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An unusual number of good one-liners today, especially from a happy Ruud Gullit who finds his team first in the West.

But in some respects the game bore a strong resemblance to a defeat given the poor second half performance.

"It was a crazy match for a coach," Gullit said. "The second half instead of being 4-0 up you make it difficult, unnecessary. ... We failed I think to close the game earlier.

"The thing is we won the game," he reminded himself. "I have a feeling I'm sitting here and we lost. We won the game."

David Beckham agreed:

"We made it difficult for ourselves because we stopped playing the ball around, we stopped keeping the ball. Being in the locker room there it was like we lost the game."

On the "fan" who ran onto the field, he said:

"I was slightly concerned when I first saw him running up because he didn't have a smile on his face and he wasn't wearing a Galaxy shirt."

Gullit singled out the forwards - and one in particular - for putting undue pressure on the team:

"The defense had nothing to do with it today because it had to do with what you do up front. Ruiz didn't hold one ball for us.

Gullit clearly would rather be sitting at home watching Euro 2008:

"It's a little bit odd for me to play while your players have international duties.It would have been nice for us to have a break.

But he had praise for Ely Allen and his game-winning goal.

"Ely has huge potential and I'm willing to get it out of him, I want to get it out of him and if he has a little bit of pepper up his arse..."

Gullit brushed aside the notion the referee only sent Erpen off because he saw the replay on the big screen saying that had no influence on his decision: "He wanted to talk with his linesman about it. And at the same moment he saw it on screen.

Ely Allen was clearly in a partying mood:

"I'm pretty excited. I haven't let it out. When I get home away from everyone I think it will be pretty crazy."

When asked for the address of the party he said: "Only if you bring the girls."

Game story.

Pitch invasion.

Galaxy-Colorado Rapids Post-game & U.S.-England Preview

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It's a two for one post tonight since I just returned from the Galaxy-Colorado Rapids U.S. Open Cup qualifier at the HDC and don't intend to rise early in the morning to blog.

The Galaxy squandered a flurry of first half chances and then fell to the Rapids on an 82nd minute Conor Casey goal.

And, yes, we've heard that before.

Limited blogging tonight since I wrote a (Rapids-centric) game story for the Denver-based Rocky Mountain News and was otherwise engaged. Read it here.

The Daily News version is here.

Video highlights here.

Meanwhile, Landon Donovan and David Beckham the U.S. and England face off in London Wednesday (that's today for most of you reading this).

A (brief) sampling of stories includes:
*Bob Bradley on Beckham and a head to head comparison of England and the U.S.

Oh yeah, and England is fretting about a possible U.S. bid for the 2018 World Cup.

Finally, as a green card-carrying, English-born, U.S. college-educated resident married to a (naturalized) American citizen I feel this man's pain.

Me? I'm wussing out and hoping for a tie.

'Night All.

New Dawn Thursday

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Always a little jarring when events take you away from something familiar and it's a little hard to recognize at first when you get back isn't it?

Hope you like the new look of the blog. Feedback always appreciated.

It was something I knew was coming, but not the time line and in fact I didn't know the change had been made until a reader informed me. It's probably why I was unable to blog after the Toronto-D.C. United game where Coach Tom Soehn is increasingly looking the best bet to follow Steve Morrow out the rotating coaching door next.

Penalty highlights of the UEFA Champions League final are below, by the way.

Galaxy fans may remember Afshin Ghotbi, an assistant coach with the Galaxy during Steve Sampson's reign and notable for his role in developing John O'Brien, who has turned up coaching in his native Iran.

Finally, the experimental U.S. Under-23 National Team dropped its first game of the Toulon Tournament 3-2 to Turkey in the early hours of Wednesday morning despite second-half goals from Eric Brunner and Sammy Ochoa.

The U.S. lineup: 18-Dominic Cervi; 13-Blake Wagner (7-Tony Beltran, 46), 3-Eric Brunner, 6-Julian Valentin, 25-Jonathon Leathers; 16-Corey Ashe, 10-Benny Feilhaber - capt. (21-Brek Shea, 67), 8-Greg Dalby, 17-Lee Nguyen (7-Kamani Hill, 46); 19-Sammy Ochoa, 9-Gabe Ferrari.
Subs Not Used: 1-Chris Seitz, 2-Rob Valentino, 4-Kyle Davies, 5-Michael Gavin, 11-Ellis McLoughlin, 14-Bryan Arguez, 15-Bryan Jordan, 24-Quentin Westberg
Head Coach: Peter Nowak


Galaxy Trio Named to U.S. Under-23 Squad

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Coach Peter Nowak named three Galaxy players to an experimental U.S. Under-23 National Team squad for the upcoming Toulon Tournament.

"This tournament will give us an opportunity to have a look at some players we have had in previous camps, and also a look at the new faces," said Nowak. "We don't want to be short-sighted with our selection for the Olympics. We want a whole picture that includes a variety of players, and to make sure we see every option before we make final choices."

Selected were Mike Gavin, Bryan Jordan and Julian Valentin.

The U.S. plays Turkey May 21, Ivory Coast May 23 and Italy May 25.

All games are on Fox Soccer Channel.

The full squad: Goalkeepers Dominic Cervi (out of contract), Chris Seitz (Real Salt Lake), Quentin Westberg (Troyes AC); defenders Tony Beltran (Real Salt Lake), Eric Brunner (out of contract), Kyle Davies (Southampton), Michael Gavin (Los Angeles Galaxy), Kamani Hill (Vfl Wolfsburg), Jonathan Leathers (Kansas City Wizards), Brek Shea (FC Dallas), Julian Valentin (Los Angeles Galaxy), Rob Valentino (New England Revolution), Blake Wagner (FC Dallas) ; midfielders Bryan Arguez (Hertha Berlin), Corey Ashe (Houston Dynamo), Greg Dalby (SC Charleroi), Benny Feilhaber (Derby County), Lee Nguyen (Randers FC); forwards Gabe Ferrari (Sampdoria), Bryan Jordan (Los Angeles Galaxy), Ellis McLoughlin (Hertha Berlin), Sammy Ochoa (Tecos).

No recall for Rolling Hills Estates' Robbie Rogers, but then if Nowak was paying attention over the weekend, he knows what the Columbus Crew midfielder is capable of:

Updated: Rogers' two-goal performance earned him MLS Player of the Week honors (his first such award) Monday from the North American Soccer Reporters.

It's is the Crew's best-ever start to a season and Sigi Schmid's, too.

Galaxy Gameday

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Galaxy Preview

It's Galaxy-Red Bulls at Home Depot Center tonight.

But more importantly, it's BritWeek (more on that later).

Game preview here.

As usual, Red Bull Claudio Reyna is out injured for this one, proving yet again he's not New York's answer to David Beckham.

Speaking of Becks, the folks over at StubHub sent over these stats that show average Galaxy ticket prices on their site have almost tripled, while the volume of ticket sales has soared compared with 2007.

1st home game $26 (2007) Vs. $55 (2008). Sales volume increase: 450%.
2nd home game $28 Vs. $51. Up 60%
3rd home game $18 Vs. $46. Up 2000%
4th home game $32 4/26 Vs. $55. Up 400%

The Becks effect?

Meanwhile, the Galaxy, late in getting their youth development program going, have belatedly made a commitment.

From the press release:

Galaxy Rios, the official youth development program of the LA Galaxy, will enter a team in the USL Super-20 League for the 2008 season.

The LA Galaxy, who are one of three MLS teams to have a club placed in the Super-20 League, will be one of six teams in the Pacific Southern California League.

The coach: Galaxy Director of Soccer Paul Bravo.

The roster includes UCLA products David Estrada, Kyle Nakazawa of Palos Verdes Estates, Brian Perk and Michael Stephans; Rafael Garcia and Camillo Rojas of Cal State Northridge; Amani Walker of UC-Irvine; and U.S. Under-18 National Team player Tristan Bowen, the first player ever signed to the Galaxy Rios, and his brother Travis Bowen.

Wonder what the S.F. Quakes think about Nakazawa's departure from their squad?

Galaxy Rios opens their season 5 p.m. Sunday against the Ventura County Fusion at Ventura College.

Here's the complete season schedule:
May 24 vs. Poway Vaqueros 1:30 p.m. Home Depot Center
June 4 at Riverside MGFM (Kickoff TBD)
June 8 at Lancaster Rattlers 4 p.m. Lancaster National Soccer Center
June 15 at Poway Vaqueros 2 p.m. Poway High School
June 22 vs. Bakersfield Brigade 1 p.m. Home Depot Center
June 29 vs. Ventura County Fusion 5 p.m. Home Depot Center
July 5 at Bakersfield Brigade 5 p.m. Bakersfield Christian High School
July 12 vs. Lancaster Rattlers 1 p.m. Home Depot Center
July 13 vs. Riverside MGFM Kickoff TBD Home Depot Center

Chivas Deals

Not surprisingly, Chivas USA - owners of the league's second worst defensive record in terms of goals conceded, continue to revamp their back line.

Over in England, Chivas USA midfielder Jorge Flores scored a goal and an assist in the first two friendlies for the U.S. Under-20 National Team on its short tour there.

Flores scored the game-winner on a penalty kick Wednesday in a 2-0 win over Bolton Wanderers Reserves and grabbed an assist a day later in a 2-1 win over Manchester United Reserves by a score of 2-1. The team plays Liverpool Reserves today.

The Chivas USA U-18 and U-16 teams both play Pateadores in away games this Saturday at Cal-State Fullerton.

The U-16 team, with two consecutive wins against conference opponents, plays at noon against first-place Pateadores team, with the U-18 game following at 2:30 p.m.

U.S. Women

The U.S. Women's National Team has announced two Scandinavian games in July against Norway and Sweden.

The match in Sweden marks the return of U.S. head coach Pia Sundhage to her native country where she will face her home country for the first time as U.S. coach.

Local Games This Weekend

In Ventura tonight at 5 o'clock the new Fusion W-League team plays their first game in franchise history against the similarly new Pali Blues.

The Fusion's PDL team hosts the San Fernando Valley Quakes at 7:30 p.m. in the nightcap.

Other games include:
Fresno Fuego at Southern California Seahorses 7 p.m. La Mirada High
San Jose Frogs at Lancaster Rattlers 7 p.m. Pete Knight High.

BritWeek

Finally, the countdown to BritWeek concludes today with "Crash" by the Primatives:

Missed the earlier videos?

Click here and here and here.

Those who want to delve more deeply into the genre could do worse than checking out this box set (although I could quibble with a few tracks on the last disc).


BritWeek & Other Bits

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Nothing earth-shattering here, but the Galaxy's Chris Klein spoke with The Kansas City Star about what its like to play with David Beckham.

Also, U.S. Soccer announced all the Under-23 Men's National Team games at the annual tournament in Toulon, France will be aired on Fox Soccer Channel.

The nine-day, eight-team tournament runs from May 20-29

The U.S. opens against Turkey on May 21 before facing two Olympic-bound teams in Italy on May 23 and the Ivory Coast on May 25.

Closer to home, the U.S. boys Under-14 team is currently in camp at the HDC in Carson.

Locals participating include goalkeeper Josh McNeely (Hidden Hills), midfielders Eric Gonzales (Corona), Alejandro Guido (Chula Vista), Aldo Magana (Ontario), Oscar Ortega (San Ysidro), and forwards Esteban Rodriguez (Bell Gardens) and Sebastian Velasquez (Los Angeles).

Lots of Latino surnames in a sign U.S. Soccer is belatedly tapping that demographic group for talent.

Cal State Dominguez Hills has honored Sandy Lloyd (Fountain Valley) with the Hal Charnofsky CSUDH Memorial Scholar-Athlete of the Year award.

And how's this for the stat of the week: Through 39 contests in 2008, no MLS team has lost after scoring the first goal. Teams that score first have gone 32-0-7. Last year, the teams that scored first went 134-21-34 overall.

Finally, the 100 Percent Soccer blog continues its salute to BritWeek, which culminates with the Galaxy game Saturday, with the following two little-known Britpop gems.

First up is the aptly-named Lush with its minor U.S. hit "For Love" from the early 1990s.

And as a bonus, here's England's Sunscreem, a band that predated Britpop, but nonetheless earned props for managing to find a word in the English language that rhymes with "purple".

On a completely unrelated note, the chronic technical glitches that have plagued this blog for months are now history or so I'm told. Those whose comments have been lost into the ether should feel free to resubmit them. Or not.


BritWeek & More

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So BritWeek is actually a BritMonth.

But before we get to that it's worth noting:
*That today's column provoked a lively debate here.
*Chivas USA defender Lawson Vaughn underwent surgery over the weekend at Little Company of Mary Hospital in Torrance. The procedure, performed by Dr. Jay W. Granzow included a surgical repair of Vaughn's nose, which was broken in several places, as well as repair to a laceration on his right cheek, which required 32 stitches.
*This was Chivas USA's Monday.

Back to BritWeek, otherwise known as an excuse to highlight obscure Britpop bands. Such as Ride who had a hit with this song.

Galaxy Mark BritWeek

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And so shall 100 Percent Soccer.

This is BritWeek.

The Galaxy announced the celebs today who will play in a showbiz game Saturday before the main event against NYRB: (from the press release)

film and television stars Julian Sands, Michael Sheen, and Anthony LaPaglia; TV personality Ross King; soap stars from General Hospital, The Young and the Restless, and Days of Our Lives; music stars Rivers Cuomo from Weezer, and the Marley brothers; not to mention soccer legends Alexi Lalas, Cobi Jones, and Frank LeBoeuf.

Two British bands play after the 4:30 p.m. celebs game: I-94and Delta Fiasco.

Things to know:
*There's an aptly named Pasadena joint named the Beckham Grill.
*BritWeek is the brainchild of Nigel Lythgoe (American Idol), celebrates British influence in the Los Angeles entertainment industry, together with 50 years of the British Consul having permanent official residence here.
*The first 4,000 fans entering the stadium will receive the second of three Galaxy collector series T-Shirts to be given away this season.
*The musical contribution to this event apparently consists of Duran Duran and Joss Stone.

So since BritWeek screams Britpop I couldn't resist making my own contribution. Look for more all week long.


About 100 Percent Soccer


Sportswriter Nick Green has written the 100 Percent Soccer column since 2005. The blog of the same name began in 2007. A native of England, he began writing about soccer in the mid-1980s and in 2000 permanently exchanged a seat in the stands for one in the press box. He lives six miles from Carson's Home Depot Center, home of the Los Angeles Galaxy, Chivas USA and the training headquarters for U.S. Soccer and is married to a long-suffering soccer widow. Join Nick on FaceBook.

About this Archive

This page is a archive of recent entries in the Video category.

U.S. Youth Teams is the previous category.

W-League is the next category.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.

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