AP Photo/Craig Ruttle
Kris "Hi-Lite" Bruton of the Harlem Globetrotters shoots and scores wearing a goalie mask as his team took on the Washington Generals during a basketball game on the outdoor ice rink at Lasker Rink in New York's Central Park today.

The Associated Press

The Harlem Globetrotters have a new way to beat the Washington Generals -- on ice.

The famed basketball barnstormers played on a hockey rink for the first time in their 84-year history today, putting on a show in New York's Central Park ahead of a tour of the area.

Both teams wore ice cleats on their shoes but the Globetrotters' mascot appeared unable to find ones that fit his cartoonish sneakers, and wound up adding some unintentional slapstick to the routine.

The Globetrotters' Kris "Hi-Lite" Bruton put on an old-school goalie mask and used a hockey stick to bat down a shot. The Generals grimly stuck to their usual brand of basketball -- and lost 32-15.

The Globetrotters (official site linked here) have their annual appearance in Southern California this weekend: Saturday at 1 and 7 p.m. at Honda Center in Anaheim; Sunday at 1 and 6 p.m. at Staples Center and Monday at 1 p.m. in Ontario. The team is honoring former Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda before their 1 p.m. game Sunday at Staples Center. Lasorda was born in 1927, the same year the Harlem Globetrotters played their first-ever road game in Hinckley, Ill., on Jan. 7, 1927.

Lindsey Vonn wearing nothing but protective snow cones wouldn't have been too bad.

But it's Mrs. Andy Roddick who'll be the latest to be banned in high school computer searches, middle-school libraries and kindergarden teacher's lounges.

It just goes with the territory.

That Brooklyn Decker landed the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover this year is no real surprise. The element is that SI seems to want to revive is that girl-next-condo, with a nice yellow bikini. Although we believe her top was probably too big, because it keeps falling off.

Decker, talking to the Associated Press, compared it to covers from the 1980s or '90s, when Elle Macpherson had that friendly, sun-loving look.

Roddick may have made some SI covers of his own -- oh, wait, he's never made a cover -- but the 22-year-old Decker has some athletic background. She ran hurdles for her high school track team in North Carolina, played soccer and did some competitive cheerleading.

"This celebrates the girls and their personalities," Decker said of her cover. "I think it's why they get such beautiful pictures."

David Letterman gets to show it off first on Monday's show (she'll be on tonight's show):

Decker with the Dan Patrick Show guys in Miami last week:

Highlights of the week ahead in sports, both here and afar:

TODAY

NBA: Lakers vs. San Antonio, Staples Center, 7:30 p.m., TNT:
Eva Longoria-Parker can't be desperate enough to want to come to this game and get some national TV exposure, right? Is Tony even playing or is that ankle giving him trouble again? This is the Spurs' annual "Rodeo Trip" where they take the road for eight games because of some hoe-down in San Antonio. L.A. has the Grammy Break. San Antonio has the Achy Breaky Break.

NHL: Kings at Ducks, Honda Center, 7 p.m., Prime Ticket:
A win over the Ducks would make it an even 10 straight for the Kings. A Ducks win would make it 10 wins in a row at home. That's something else. Meanwhile, it's four down and two to go in the series after this latest slugfest. There's one more home-and-home on April 3 and 6, a week before the playoffs start -- and perhaps, the Ducks will still be scrambling for the No. 8 spot.

TUESDAY

NBA: Clippers vs. Utah, Staples Center, 7:30 p.m., Prime Ticket:
Kim Hughes. That's not a player on the Sparks, but the new Clippers coach? Hmmm. So far, no wins. C'mon, Kimmy.

WEDNESDAY

NBA: Lakers at Utah, 6 p.m., Channel 9; Clippers at Golden State, 7:30 p.m., Prime Ticket:

After these two games, whatta say we knock of until next week and let those who didn't make the upcoming NBA All-Star Game head over to Hawaii, soak up some rays, hang out with the NFL Pro Bowl guys .... what do you mean?

THURSDAY

Golf: PGA Tour: AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am, first round, Golf Channel, noon to 3 p.m. (final round, Channel 2, noon to 3:30 p.m.):
Celebrities who are supposed to play: Billy Murray ... why do you need to know any more? George Lopez, Tom Brady, Ray Romano, Tony Romo, Vin Gill and Kelly Slater will tag along for the whale watching. And to watch Chris Berman.

NHL: Kings vs. Edmonton, Staples Center, 7:30 p.m., FSW:
Last meeting: A Kings' 3-2 road win back in the middle of December, when Sean O'Donnell somehow ended a drought of 157 games without a goal to tally the game-winner with 4:33 remaining.

FRIDAY

Winter Olympics: Opening ceremony, 7:30 p.m., Channel 4:
In 2011, Vancouver's BC Place will unveil an innovative, energy-saving retractable roof. But not in time for the Opening Ceremonies of the 23rd Winter Games, making it the first time this event will take place in doors. This warms our heart. By the way, BC Place can be rented out for movie shoots -- don't they shoot all films in Vancouver now? It's already been used in "The Lizzy McGuire Movie" and "Best in Show." Hang around long enough and they'll start on "Tooth Fairy 2."

SATURDAY

Winter Olympics: 2 to 6 p.m. and 8 to 11:30 p.m., Channel 4:
Apolo Ohno has a chance to win gold in the men's 1,500 meter short track in the prime-time edition of Day 2. Before that, the first gold medal will be given out in ski jumping, men's 5,000-meter speed skating and the women's biathlon during the daytime coverage.

NHL: Kings vs. Colorado, Staples Center, 7:30 p.m., FSW:
After this contest, the league takes a hiatus until March so some players can compete in the Winter Olympics hockey competition for their countries. The others can sit around, eat donuts and play foosball.

SUNDAY

College basketball: UCLA at USC, Galen Center, 7 p.m., FSW:
BIG SCORE: Way back when -- it had to be less than a month ago -- the Trojans recorded a 67-46 thumping over the Bruins -- the 21-point margin was the greatest ever for a Trojan team at Pauley Pavilion and the most against at UCLA team in 65 years. "I'm embarrassed for our team," UCLA coach Ben Howland said. "I feel embarrassed for the program, for the former players and coaches. That's all you can say, it was embarrassing." Not as embarrassing as it would be if the Trojans beat the Bruins this time at Galen Center by more than 34 points -- that's the all-time margin (60-26) set back in 1940.

NBA: All-Star Game, TNT, 5 p.m.
KISS ME: Can't really see Kobe Bryant and LeBron James puckering up before this extravagant exhibition game the way Magic and Isiah used to. The best of the West and East will likely take a back seat to the game being played in the Dallas Cowboys' home stadium with the mega-tron video screen hanging over them. "From a shooter's standpoint, I would like to play in a smaller venue," said TNT analyst Reggie Miller, "but ... you're playing in a place where there will potentially be 100,000 people watching you ... sight lines really don't matter. Personally for me, I can't wait to watch it on 'Jerry-Vision.' That's awesome."

Auto racing: Daytona 500, Channel 11, 9 a.m.
REV MY ENGINE: Despite a rain-shortened race in 2009, the event still drew 16 million TV viewers, more than the NCAA Final Four (13.5 million), 2008 Summer Olympics, (15.2 million), 2009 NBA Finals (14.3 million), Kentucky Derby (11.8 million), final round of The Masters (14.3 million), and the final round of the U.S. Open (7.1 million).

Drag racing: Winternationals at Pomona, ESPN2, 5 to 8 p.m. (delayed)
DRAG QUEEN: The National Hot Rod Association starts its 24-event season at the 50th Winternationals at Auto Club Raceway in Pomona, and the plan is to pay tribute to its past with as many of the legendary cars, drivers, and magical moments they can get into the facility. It was February, 1961 when NHRA founder Wally Parks hosted the first running of the now-historic and iconic Winternationals. Qualifying starts Saturday from 8 to 11 p.m.

Winter Olympics, 1 to 6 p.m. and 7 to 11 p.m., Channel 4:
I HEART CURLING: Speedskating, luge, biathlon, the Nordic combined ... it's all out there on Day 3, plus the first look at the U.S. women's hockey team (noon, USA Network, vs. China) and Lindsay Vonn propelling herself down the ski slopes in prime time. But those really in the know can't wait for cartoon curling. Fox has counterprogrammed an episode of "The Simpsons" (Channel 11, 8 p.m.) where Marge (a world-class sweeper) and Homer (with that bowling technique down) represent the U.S. curling team. Says Simpson's writer Rob LaZebnik: "We liked the idea of a sport that you could do with your spouse, and all the issues that presents. Plus, we're hoping we get free Olympic stuff." To get Marge and Homer on the same team, the writers had to declare "mixed curling" a demonstration sport. Just like there could be mixed hockey.

Tallulah, a chimpanzee at the San Francisco Zoo, buries her head in a box full of treats as she picks a Super Bowl winner in San Francisco on Thursday. Chimpanzees at the zoo were enticed by treats to various locations in their pen to help them choose a Super Bowl winner.
AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez

THE SUPER BOWL COUNTDOWN FOR PEOPLE WHO JUST AREN'T PAYING ATTENTION:

Where: CBS. That would be Channel 2 on your home entertainment systems. If you can figure that out on the remote, you're halfway there.

Who: Jim Nantz and Phil Simms are on the call. Lance Barrow will produce and Mike Arnold will direct.

When: Kick off is about 3:28 p.m. Sunday.

But you want more...

== Here's how the CBS pregame lays out so you can adjust your sleeping patterns:
= 9 a.m.: "Road to the Super Bowl" recaps the 2009 season, produced by NFL Films. "For those who love football, this show is red meat," said NFL Films president Steve Sabol. "No interviews, no talking heads, all action."
= 10 a.m.: Phil Simms' "All-Iron Team" includes finding 1972 Super Bowl MVP Jake Scott living the simple life in Hawaii, and features on Steelers owner Dan Rooney and former Chicago Bears defensive guru Buddy Ryan.
= 11 a.m.: "The Super Bowl Today" with James Brown, Dan Marino, Boomer Esiason, Shannon Sharpe and Bill Cowher. Contributors include Dick Enberg, Katie Couric, Steve Tasker, Solomon Wilcots, Lesley Visser and Sam Ryan.
== 3 p.m.: "Kickoff Show" with player intros.

== The NFL Network is laying claim on having the "longest Super Bowl pregame show in history," with its 8 1/2 hours starting at 6 a.m. with 17 broadcasters spread out around South Florida.
Leading up, it will have commissioner Roger Goodell's press conference today (8:30 a.m.), the Pro Football Hall of Fame announcement (Saturday, 1:30 p.m.) and the Super Bowl MVP press conference (Monday, 5:30 a.m.).

== For the AV nuts:
= CBS has six high-speed cameras, known as SuperVision, both on sideline carts and hand held to follow the game. Each camera can shoot 500 frames per second (a normal camera shoots 60) in 1080i high definition format.
= Six cameras will be calibrated with the first down line by SportsVision, including Skycam and endzone cameras.
= On the Secondary Audio Programming, Armando Quintero and Benny Ricardo will call the game in Spanish.

== Try following Boomer Esiason around Miami.
After he's done on the CBS' pregame show from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., he goes to the Westwood One broadcast booth to do the radio call with Marv Albert, Mark Malone and James Lofton.
Esiason did double duty for both CBS Sports and Westwood One for Super Bowl XXXVIII (Houston) and Super Bowl XLI (Miami).

Holmes, Marshawn Lynch and Matt Willig try out some football-based experiments. John Brenkus is the host. The tests: Were catches that Holmes made in last year's Super Bowl unplanned or textbook cases? Lynch tries to show if a running back can generate as much power as a diesel engine? What makes a championship quarterback stand out over someone who doesn't quite make it? And what happens with a referee, positioned behind the linebackers, gets hit.

A few more things about Larry Burnett, the featured story in today's Daily News linked to the final Top 10/Bottom 5 list of the L.A. market's play-by-play men (linked here):

== Yup, he wears a hairpiece.
He tried for awhile to go without it while calling games for the WNBA Sparks. He grew a beard, went clean on the top, kept the hair on the sides. It was a nice look, but one he says came about only because he had neck surgery at the time.

"The older you get, the more difficult it is to get a job especially if you're new at it. I just remember that the bald guy wasn't getting a lot of work, not that the hair guy is getting a lot either.
"It's a very psychological thing. It's all in your head. Sometimes it's less hassle to just go natural, but I do look younger. And when you look better, you feel better, so I do (the hairpiece) for a business standpoint.
"It's a very subjective thing, wondering, 'Am I doing it for me? Or for the audience?'
"I guess this business is so cosmetic, sometimes you gotta play that game."

== While he grew up on the East Coast, soaking in the call of Bob Murphy, Ralph Kiner and Lindsay Nelson on Mets' games, and Curt Gowdy on the AFL games (and his team, the Jets), Burnett says he learned a lot by listening to Chick Hearn's Laker calls after moving to Agoura Hills some 20 years ago to start working at Prime Ticket "Press Box."

"I never tried to imitate him, but the way he influenced me was that whenever I was there at a game early (to do the Lakers' pre-game show on the radio), Chick was already there prepping, ready to go. I might have had a headache or didn't feel like working but when you were around him, it went away. He could make a meaning less game early in the season sound like a playoff game. He had so much fun with it.
"When I did more work with the Sparks, we had a few simulcasts (on TV and radio), and I wondered whether it was best do to a radio call and talk a lot, or just do a TV call and pull back. Chick always did it like radio. So I did that. That's what you've got to do. If you're going to err one direction on a broadcast, give 'em too much rather than too little."

== As seemingly all media jobs have tried up in town, Burnett found himself working at the Tommy Bahama store in Camarillo selling clothes to help make ends meet for about nine months last year.

"I'd never done sales before and turned out to be a top salesman. It's amazing what you can do when you have to do it. I didn't make a lot (of money) but I sure upgraded my wardrobe."

== On his company called TB4US (Think Before You Speak), accessable through his website www.larrybsports.com, Burnett has been a media consultant to teams that need to instruct their players how to deal with situations like damage control, better interviews, having the reporters hear their side of the story, etc. He has worked in the past with track and field athletes, as well as the San Antonio Spurs, Dallas Mavericks, Phoenix Suns and UCLA's baseball team.

"It's just part of trying to reinvent yourself.
"Here, we're trying to give the players the lay of the land with the media, showing them clips, giving them different opions on handling an interview, getting out in front of things. Last November, I had a meeting with the Mavericks, and what I noticed was that the guys who were already good with the media really listened and asked questions. Guys like Dirk Nowitski. Then there were those who could have cared less."

A round of applause -- much louder than a golf clap -- to Larry Burnett for calling games for the D-Fenders, the Lakers' Development League team, these last four seasons.

Not that it's the best-kept media play-by-play secret in L.A. It's just that you gotta know when they're playing to want to hear what's going on.

At the official NBA Website (linked here), the future is now, and Burnett -- the former ESPN "SportsCenter" anchor who also does the WNBA's Sparks -- tells it like it is.

Usually, in an empty Staples Center. With only the players' family and friends watching. All with the incentive to stick around to see the Lakers play later that night.

Friday's conclusion to the 18th annual best-and-worst of the L.A. media focuses on the play-by-play men, and how Burnett has managed to creatively make D-Fenders game worth paying attention to.

== More on Burnett, his official website (linked here)

How do you get soaked at Dodger Stadium? Keep buying your tickets through Ticketmaster.

Four years ago, we threw a blog posting out there about the charges that occur when, for instance, a Dodger fan wanted to buy a $6 pavilion seat through the team's Website. By the time Ticketmaster rang up all its fees, that $6 ticket became $15.50 (linked here), a 158 percent increase over the face value.

It's come up again, now for USC or UCLA fans who are interested in buying a $5 general admission ticket to the Trojans-Bruins game to be played at Dodger Stadium on Feb. 28.

In this pretty cool scenario for those stircrazy for the 2010 MLB season to start, the Dodgers are hosting this USC-UCLA game as the back-end of a doubleheader at 2 p.m., following an 11 a.m. Oklahoma State-Vanderbilt game.

In a press release, the Dodgers have make it clear that all proceeds from the event will benefit the Dodgers Dream Foundation.

The $5 tickets can be purchased at www.dodgers.com/classic on line, as well as in person at the USC and UCLA campus box offices. If you buy them the day of the game, it's $10 at the stadium. There is no charge for parking.

Do it through the Dodgers' website, and Ticketmaster takes charge.

There is still a $2-per-ticket handling fee.
Then there's a $3 transaction fee.
Then there's an extra charge of $2.50 if you want to print them out yourself.

Now that single $5 ticket is $12.50.

You might as well pay $10 at the gate and have all of it go to the Dream Foundation.

(And for the record, concession stands will be selling beer at the college games, a luxury usually not afforded college students at their own facilities).

You can avoid the $2.50 print charge and have them mailed to you with no fee. Or, you can pay anywhere between $14.50 and $25 to have them delivered via UPS. Seriously? The other charge is $3, if you want to "avoid long lines and pick up your tickets at a participating Ticketmaster Retail Outlet."

At the very least, that $5 ticket will cost twice as much -- $10 -- if you want it through Ticketmaster.

We're guessing it can only get better bitter when Ticketmaster merges with Live Nation.

That's prime time, of course, if you're reclining on a sweaty Barcalounger on the wrong side of country.

Fox, in releasing its 2010 MLB Saturday afternoon baseball schedule, decided to go prime-time with games May 22 and June 26.

On the first date, the Detroit Tigers will face the Dodgers at Dodger Stadium. On the second, the Yankees visit Dodger Stadium. Both will have a 4 p.m. first pitch. Which shouldn't be inconvenient for anyone except Andre Either trying to follow the flight of a fly ball to right field.

Why not save the "under-the-lights" concept for games that will actually be under the lights -- on the East Coast, with their 7 p.m. starts?

"We've been thinking about taking a few of our afternoon dates to prime time dates for quite some time now, and this season's schedule is so strong that the time seemed right," said Fox Sports President Ed Goren. "There is still no platform that has the reach of prime time broadcast television."

Fox has done prime-time games in the past -- usually a Yankees-Red Sox game, where it really was prime-time at the location -- but never scheduled two in the same season.

The other interesting read-between-the-lines aspect to the Fox schedule: MLB rules say a team can't appear more than nine Saturdays a season on the network. The Dodgers and Philadelphia are scheduled a maximum, along with Seattle, Atlanta and Minnesota. The Yankees, Boston, Chicago Cubs, New York Mets and St. Louis have eight appearances. The Angels, Texas and San Francisco have seven. Tampa Bay and the Chicago White Sox have five.

Fox's 26-week schedule of the usual 1 p.m. games begins April 10 -- except that one starts at noon. The L.A. audience will likely get New York Yankees at Tampa Bay instead of St. Louis-Milwaukee or Seattle-Texas. The last two Saturdays (Sept 25 and Oct. 2) are network's decision based on the pennant races.

In between, the dates most interesting to L.A. fans, and Vin Scully (who gets the day off):

Saturday, April 17: San Francisco at Dodgers
Saturday, April 24: New York Yankees at Angels
Saturday, May 29: Seattle at Angels
Saturday, June 5: Angels at Seattle
Saturday, June 19: Dodgers at Boston
Saturday, July 10: Chicago Cubs at Dodgers
Saturday, July 17: Dodgers at St. Louis
Saturday, July 24: N.Y. Mets at Dodgers
Saturday, July 31,: Dodgers at San Francisco
Saturday, August 21: Angels at Minnesota
Saturday, September 4: Angels at Oakland
Saturday, September 11: Seattle at Angels
Saturday, September 18: Colorado at Dodgers

Last week, ESPN announced the first half of its Sunday Night Baseball schedule, featuring play-by-play man Jon Miller, who was just voted into the Hall of Fame, with Joe Morgan. It starts April 4 with -- surprise -- New York Yankees at Boston (on ESPN2, 5 p.m.)

The other dates of interest locked in (with 5 p.m. starts):
Sunday, July 4: Kansas City at Angels
Sunday, July 11: Chicago Cubs at Dodgers
They have designated June 6-27 as games to be determined, which means it could take the June 20 Dodgers' game at Boston as well as the June 26 Dodgers' home game against the Yankees.

With 5 p.m. local starts, that also creates a sun/shade problem. Ask Kaz Ishii about that...